Chasing The Rogue

-04- 🌻 A Little Funny

^ Picture of Xander

"But I'm a sunflower, a little funny. If I was a rose, maybe you'd want me. If I could, I'd change overnight, and turn into something you'd like."
~Allie X, 'Sunflower'

~~~

*Kai's POV*

Lucca.
Lucca, Lucca, Lucca.

My mate's name rolls so perfectly off my tongue, as if I had been made to say his name forever. Which is technically true! The Moon designed us for each other; to love and cherish until we take our last breaths.

I've dreamt of meeting my mate my entire life. Someone who would always love me and give me attention. And not the kind of attention I usually get from my brothers and his friends. I'm tired of always being seen as the little Omega who can't take care of himself. Whenever they're giving me attention, it's to make sure I'm physically safe from predatory wolves. I specify physically safe, because I don't remember the last time someone — other than Xander — bothered to ask how I am emotionally or mentally.

But a mate — that's the person who will always make sure I'm given the attention I need. The care I've been craving ever since my parents died. Is that so wrong?

I guess it is, because my mate doesn't want the same thing.

As Lucca drives away from the pack, the tug on my chests get tighter and more painful. He said he's not rejecting me, so... why does it feel like he is?

'I didn't get to meet his wolf,' Kieran whimpers impatiently. 'He didn't tell us his name or anything about him.'

I sigh wistfully. It's true, I don't know anything about Lucca or his wolf. Except for the random stories Landon's told me about his former roommate. I've heard him mention Lucca every so often, but I never guessed he would be my mate. The two things Landon's told me about Lucca is that he's weird, and he's a rogue. Not much to go off of.

"Kai!" Xander shouts from the doorway. Still standing in the middle of the driveway, I glance over at him with a glum expression. He frowns curiously before walking over to me. "Hey, what's wrong? Why are you out here?"

"Lucca left," I answer sadly.

He blinks as the cogs in his mind slowly turn. "About what you said earlier... is that true? Is Lucca your mate?"

"He's supposed to be," I grumble. "But he doesn't seem too thrilled about it. I don't get it. What kind of wolf doesn't want a mate? It's a gift. Our Goddess wants her children to be happy and in love, and Lucca doesn't want that? Doesn't want me? I mean, it probably was shocking that his mate is an Omega, but I don't think that's a good reason to not want me."

"Kai, no," Xander shakes his head; sadness etched on his face. "I don't think it's because you're an Omega. I've known Lucca for a few years, and he's always disliked the idea of mates. It's not personal."

"It's still hurtful," I huff. "He was able to leave, even while feeling our bond. He must really not like me if he's able to ignore the bond like that, because I can feel it and it's killing me."

"I'm sure he'll like you after he gets to know you," he says softly. "Who wouldn't?"

A painful silence falls between us. Xander's pale blue eyes stay focused on the ground as I try and fail to think of something to say in return. Xander and I... we've never openly said how we feel about each other. It would've been pointless. We know we aren't mates. And while I've had feelings for him since the day we met, I wasn't sure how he felt about me. Until now.