Chasing The Rogue

-11- 🌻 Tie Me Down

"You don't own me. Don't try to change me in any way. You don't own me. Don't tie me down 'cause I'd never stay."
~Lesley Gore, 'You Don't Own Me'

~~~

*Lucca's POV*

My legs feel like concrete as I watch Kai rush out of the restaurant with his friend in tow. Lincoln urges me to follow him, but I grip the metal kitchen counter to hold myself in place.

The look on his face when he heard what I said... god, he looked so... hurt. And that alone is enough to make me feel extremely shitty.

Isn't this a good thing though? I've spent the last month trying to figure out how I'm going to deal with this whole mate situation. I was this close to rejecting him just a few minutes ago, but I'm actually kind of glad my dill-weed manager interrupted us. Not only would a rejection put us at risk for going feral — like what happened to Ryland — but I would be in for the ass-kicking of the century.

My life as a feral wolf would be short lived. There are way too many wolves looking out for Kai, and there's no fucking way I would survive rejecting him.

Maybe now, Kai will be the one to step away. Maybe he'll take the initiative and finally end this fucking thing.

'Don't even think that,' Lincoln growls lowly. 'We can't lose our mates!'

'Come on, Linc, use your head a little, huh?' I respond, exasperated. 'What other choice do we have?'

'Uh, we could stop fighting fate and be with our mates?' Lincoln answers incredulously.

'I'm not going to let some order from the Moon dictate the rest of my life—'

'And I'm not going to lose my mate because of you!' Lincoln huffs. 'We are one being, you and I. We work together. You don't get to decide to push away our mates without my permission!'

Gritting my teeth, I prepare to enter into another fucking mental battle with my wolf, when Gerard shouts my name.

I flinch, remembering I was supposed to head back to the piano after speaking to Gerard. Shit.

Putting a mental barrier up to block out Lincoln's bitching and moaning, I scramble back out to the dining room and take my place at the piano. I close my eyes and release a breath, trying to refocus myself as my fingertips brush over the piano keys. Not wanting to waste any more time and risk angering Gerard further, I dive into playing a soft melody.

Even as I play, I can't keep my mind focused on what's going on beneath my hands. Lincoln's words ring in my head, and for the hundredth time in this past month, I feel really shitty and guilty about this whole situation.

I didn't even think about how I was keeping Lincoln away from his mate too. And clearly, my dumbass wolf really wants to be with his mate. But... doesn't he only want his mate because he's told that's what he wants? The Moon told Lincoln that Kai's wolf is his mate, and Lincoln just accepted that decision. Just like that. And now he's fighting against me for a wolf he doesn't even know.

That's what scares me. The influence the Moon has over our minds and actions with this mate business. Lincoln doesn't know his mate, doesn't know if Kieran is some sort of dickwad who would treat him like shit, and Lincoln is still willing to fight for him.

Just like Olivia.

Olivia, who made excuse after excuse for her abusive, pathetic excuse for a partner, all because he was her fucking mate. She thought if the Moon brought them together, it must've been for a reason. She thought she was meant to change him. Fix him. Turn him into a decent man and wolf.