My True Valentine

Sitting at the bar, I ask the bartender to bring out another bottle of tequila for me.

"Damn, girl," he said, handing me the bottle, "Someone really did you over this Valentine's Day."

"Well, aren't you a know-it-all, Roy?" I snap at him and then remember that his name is Robert. I shouldn't be taking it out on him, the poor barkeep. After all, it's not his fault the love of my life is straight. And in a relationship. Wait, love? I am not in love with her. It's just a little crush. Okay, I like her. Dang it, I love her, and everything about her!

I sigh and start to drink the alcohol straight from the bottle, slowly this time.

"Virginia!" I turn to get a glimpse of whoever was creating an infernal racket by screeching my name and splutter, "Lindsey Burton." The cause of my suffering "Did your boyfriend bring you to this less-than-classy joint?" I nearly gag at the word boyfriend. She deserves so much better. Someone like you, Virginia? No, well yes, but I meant someone who treated her with the respect she deserves. Not someone who's eyes trace everyone in a skirt!

She just shakes her head and plonks herself on a barstool next to me. She was missing her usual air of grace. Obviously, something had happened between the two of them. He was kind of a jerk.

"Want some?" I ask her, shaking my bottle of tequila in her face. She nods and I call out, "Hey Robert. Need another bottle for my friend over here."

I curse then, remembering that his name is Ronald.

He hands her a bottle of tequila and I bravely attempt to make conversation,"So, Lindsey, what happened between you and uh -?"

"Jesse." She supplies, "He broke up with me today."

"What a douche." I say and I mean it. What kind of a person breaks up with someone on the most romantic day of the year? Especially with someone as kind, thoughtful, generous, beautiful and composed as Lindsey. She's so perfect - in every way. She was always of a higher standard than him, and maybe this is what it'll take to - no Virginia, she's straight!

She spends some time nursing her bottle of tequila and I spend that time taking in her appearance. She's really dressed up for someone who got dumped. She almost makes me double back, even though I should be used to it by now. That kind of clothing on that kind of body should be illegal, honestly.

"You know, Gin, I thought he was the one." She begins, hiccoughing.

Well then, you're an idiot. He was a douchebag. How did you not see that?

"He's an idiot to dump someone like you." I retort, meaning it completely.

"No, I'm the idiot. He was a douche all along. How could I-I have been so blind?" She almost cries saying this. I blink. That was almost exactly what I just thought. We'd be perfect together. I sigh. If only she could see that.

"I guess-" I start but I am at a loss of what to say. What can I say? It's not like anything I say can make her feel better. I'll probably just sound like an idiotic friend who's crushing on her.

"I know what," I whisper. Stop! What are you doing? "Why don't we make him jealous?" Virginia Ellis, what the heck are you planning on doing?

"Hmm?" She prompts me.

"Why don't we send him a picture of you kissing someone else?" I say, unsurely.

"Who in the world are we going to get to kiss me and never talk about again? This is ridiculous, Gin." She sighs and wrinkles her nose in quite a cute manner.

"This is a bar, Linds. I'm sure there are a lot of guys in here who are dying to get their hands on you, girls too. I'm sure it'd be, like, a privilege for them." I say to reassure her. I'm one of those girls, I want to say, but it gets caught in my throat. She can't ever know.

"Don't be absurd, Ginny Gin-Gin." Ginny Gin-Gin? "Besides, I don't want to make out with some random guy. Or girl." She wrinkles her nose "I'd rather kiss someone I know." Like me?

"You could kiss me." Wait, what? Virginia Flippin' Ellis, what in the world are you saying?

"Excuse me?" Lindsey asks, swishing her hands and throwing droplets of alcohol on the floor.

Backtrack girl, backtrack. "I mean - uh." I say, displaying my vast vocabulary.

I stop talking. Honestly, I'm just spouting out rubbish all because of my alcohol-ridden brain.

Lindsey seems to consider my offer for a moment.

"Okay!" She giggles "What's the bartender's name? I'll ask him to take the photo!"

Okay. Wait what? She wants to kiss me? Me? Oh my god! I'm hyperventilating! This can't be happening! Don't get ahead of yourself, Virginia, she's drunk and was just dumped. On Valentine's Day. Anyone would want to kiss you. I harrumph. I am such a killjoy.

"He's Ronald, I think."

"Hey Ronnie," she calls out to the bartender, "will you take a picture of my totally hot friend and I making out?"

He seems intrigued by the offer and agrees. I'm pretty sure now, that his name is Raymond.

She looks at me giggles, "Kiss me, Virginia Dianne Ellis." I do. The kiss is messy and sloppy. Our tongues are everywhere yet not in the right places. Not really what I imagined kissing her would be like. But, who cares? I'm kissing the woman of my dreams. I'm kissing the woman of my dreams! This is one of the most exciting moments of my life!

"Got it!" Richard (I think) the bartender exclaims and we break apart. Just like that, it was over.

"You know what, Gin?" She looks at me, taking her phone from the barkeep. "I think I'm going to head home. I'll decide next morning, when I'm sober, whether to send this picture to Jesse or not."

Lindsey leaves he bar. I'm not sure she'll even remember what happened. She'll probably never have feelings for me, either. But that's okay. At least I got to kiss her. At least now, maybe I won't hate Valentines Day. I'll always remember her, every time.

With a smile, I pay the bartender and I get up from my seat. I'm just upset I'll never know his name.

"Hey Virginia," I turn to see the bartender calling me, "in case you were wondering, my name is Chris."