Poems From The Rooftop

Bliss

Yea bliss is the right word for it
You walk in and my heart fucking jumps
Picking up speed and my head swings to the doorway
And all I can give you is a smile
And everytime you pop in my head i think of those smiles I made happen by writing stickys and hiding them. The smiles i made with coffee or saying something ridiculous or just my mere frustration and embarrassment. I cant forget a single one. And honestly its going to hurt me worse to watch those memories become distant. It'll hurt worse than being cheated and lied to. It'll hurt worse than the people in school ignoring my existence. Worse than anything.

Because you showed me the wounds i already had. And then while you healed some the more I moved the more tears that appeared. And whats worse is i begged for it. I begged to get fucked up, so long as you stuck around. Begged for a scar to remind me it was real. That I wasn't delusional and I ran with someone on the same wavelength.

And while I know the reciprocal pain will come with your departure it was worth the fucking highs. To smile so fucking hard my cheeks hurt. To smile so much I literally wanted it documented so I could remember exactly how you made me feel even after you were gone. Its funny that I had figured out what I wanted, and then you literally showed me it. And more than I knew What I wanted.

And since the only way I can say it is without saying the love word.

I adore you. All of you.