larry stylinson oneshots

i'm sorry i wasn't enough

WARNING: THIS ONESHOT CONTAINS MENTIONS OF SELF-HARM AND SUICDE. THE SUICIDE GOES INTO A LOT OF DEPTH AND CAN BE VERY DISTURBING TO READ. PLEASE DO NOT READ ON IF ANY IF THESE TOPICS TRIGGER YOU OR MAKE YOU FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. I AM ALSO AWARE ELEANOR IS NOTHING LIKE HOW I MAKE HER TO BE LIKE IN THIS STORY. THIS IS PURELY FICTIONAL AND SHE IS NOT LIKE THIS IN REAL LIFE. THANK YOU X.

Harry's pov: 

I was tired of not being enough. 

I always knew I would come second.

I would always come second when she was around. 

She was taking up all of his attention. 

She would call him, text him and FaceTime him whenever they weren't out together.

And he wouldn't shut up about her either. 

It was her long, brown hair. 

Or her gorgeous hazel eyes. 

Or her perfect figure. 

It was whatever I didn't have. 

I hate it. 

I hate her. 

But more importantly, I hated myself.

My fat thighs that jiggled when I walked. 

My huge stomach that poked out over the waistband of my boxers. 

My chubby arms and my fatty face. 

I was disgusting and everyone knew it. 

Especially her. 

Every chance she got, she reminded me. 

"God have you put on even more weight?". That was on Monday morning when she came over to visit Lou. 

"Honestly, do you really need that dinner?" That was Tuesday night when we all went out to dinner together with the band. 

"Why is my Lou even friends with you? You're such a fucking fat ass" That was on Thursday morning after she had walked out of his room with obvious hickeys everywhere. 

She knew how I felt about Louis, and I'm pretty sure she made sure that I could see every single love bite he gave her. 

While they were making love last night. 

Making love.

Because they were in love. 

I wouldn't be sitting here on the bathroom floor, writing a note with a rope lying next to me. 

I haven't eaten in days and I'm struggling to stop my hand from shaking as I write the the note for Louis. 

My stomach grumbles painfully but I ignore it as I finish up the note. I sigh and place it next to the sink on the cabinet. I stood up shakily and had to steady myself to stop myself from passing out. I picked up the rope and swung it around the hook on the ceiling that normally has the light hanging off it. I took the light down earlier while Louis was out. 

He still is. 

With Eleanor.

Obviously. 

But that doesn't matter. 

I certainly don't need an audience to witness my death. 

I finished tying the noose and just stood there, admiring my work. I traced over the cuts on my arm that have been there for months. It was a habit I picked up after Eleanor began telling me everything that I didn't know before. There were new ones as well, from yesterday and this morning that were still slightly dripping blood. I wiped it off with my sleeve and began clambering onto the counter. I stood up and saw my phone light up. I didn't bother answering it.