Infinite Miles

Chapter 31 - Promises

There's blood. So much blood. It stains his clothes and taints his skin red. All his senses are flooded with it. The metallic taste on his tongue, his sensitive nose only being able to pick up the pungent smell.

It's everywhere.

There are bodies everywhere.

Greying. Dying. Decaying.

Soulless pitch black eyes stare back at him. The last of the life in them gone.

So this is war. Axel thinks as the vampire he had just kicked smacks his head hard against the ground. To his left is Sydney, doing impressively well at taking on a man twice her size. And to his right he sees Fraser, who successfully disarms her attacked and stabs the vampire with her very own stake.

It's abrupt and involuntary, but the sight causes Axel's mind to wander back to Elias. More specifically, how he had used the very stake Elias had gifted him, to kill him. It's poetic, in a dark and twisted way. Axel is sure that there's a lesson in there somewhere. But he doesn't think he's learning from it.

In those 4 years he was missing, Axel was bred to be a weapon. But he never expected to embrace that fate so fully. He never expected to be a killer. Doesn't want to be. But perhaps it isn't wise for him to be having this revelation whilst in the middle of war, one where his side is severely outnumbered.

He hasn't killed anyone yet. He told himself he wouldn't. The only exception being that he had no choice. But winning this war is going to be a lot harder when you're opponent doesn't stay down. Axel curses their healing abilities when the very angry vampire he had just kicked gets back up to his feet. The blow to the man's head would have left any human dead, but Axel can just about see the deep gash beginning to heal.

The odds aren't in their favour. He's known this for a while now. The scales are unbalanced, tipping towards the opposition. There's just so many of them. And yet Axel is still stuck fighting the same guy.

He knows what he has to do.

He's always known.

Right now Axel has to be the version of himself which he hates the most, but also the version that he and Fraser's clan desperately need - the killer. The Axel that stabbed Elias with his own stake, the one that can easily take on 4 vampires if he has to, the one that let's the anger and rage in him take control - the Axel Elias made.

So he pulls his stake out from his pocket, where it had been hidden since the beginning of the fight, and puts up a mental barrier between who he has to be right now, and who he desperately wants to be.

•••••••

Everyone keeps telling Miles that just because he can't heal as the other vampires do, doesn't mean he's weak. So why is it that Fraser, another vampire with impaired healing, is out fighting while he hides like a coward?

"Because I'm weak." Miles says to Brian the counsellor. "Because I can't fight like the other's do. I would just be a burden."

Miles, like the other vampires who can't heal or are unable to fight for a number of reasons, has to stay at the makeshift base away from the battle. Miles has never felt so useless. The people he cares about are out there risking their lives while he does nothing but hide.

"No Miles. It's because they want to keep you safe."

That's what Axel had said to Miles right before he left.

"Because I can't see you get hurt again. It would break me." Axel had traced his finger over Miles' scar, remembering what had caused it, storing the anger that had risen from the memory for later use on the battlefield.

"This is going to be torture. Sitting here, waiting for you. What if-" Miles could feel the terror creeping up in him, his eyes filling with tears at the possibility of Axel never coming back. And Axel, reading his mind effortlessly, said "I'll be back. I promise."

"No. Don't promise." Because then Miles will cling to it. And if Axel doesn't keep that promise, Miles will hold it against him forever. "Just say you'll be careful."

"I'll be careful." Axel echoed.

"And that you wont do anything reckless like go after Lawson on your own."

Axel would have chucked then, but Miles looked serious. "I won't do anything reckless like go after Lawson on my own." He repeated.

"And that you'll look out for Sydney."

"I'll look out for Sydney."

"And-and that you'll be careful." Miles was panicking now.

"You already said that." Axel said quietly, caressing Miles' face.

"I know. It's just- if I tell you to say you'll come back, and you don't, I don't know what I'll do." Miles could imagine how much of a mess he would be. Repeating you promised, you promised again and again like a broken record. "I want you to tell me things I know for certain. I know you'll be careful, but I don't know if you'll be back."

"Well, you know I love you right?"

Miles nodded his head as Axel wiped away the stray away tear.

"But you don't know how much." Axel couldn't put into words how much. But he tried. "I love you so much that it hurts, Miles. That living without you seems impossible. I put everything I have into loving you. I put whatever's left of my heart and soul. And as much as I don't want to leave you right now, I have to. For this war. For the greater good. For people like me and you. I won't let myself die out there. Because just as much as I would die for you, I would live for you too."

Miles couldn't help it, not after all those words, and the way Axel was looking at him so intensely, he kissed him. Urgently and desperately and with all the love Miles had in him, he kissed him.

"I'll wait for you." Miles whispered between their lips. "I waited for you for 4 year, no" he shook his head "longer than that. And if I had to, I would wait a thousand more. I could do it you know? I'm immortal."

"No Miles" Axel smiled at him, soft and sweet "you're infinite."

Miles wrapped his arms around Axel in a tight embrace.

"Just come back to me, okay?"

"Okay."

•••••••

A/N

Goodness me that was sappy.

But this lowkey reminds me of The Song of Achilles (one of my favourite books and one of the very few things that have made me cry).