dreams (h.s)

II

estella's pov.

it was silly, really. i had fallen in love with a part of my mind. this boy that i saw every night in my dreams, was made by me and my thoughts, and i had fallen madly in love with him. when i think about it, its ironic, considering how much i despise myself. but yet, i had found this one tiny part of my body that i loved and would cherish dearly until the day i would die. and i was so so extremely thankful for it. unfortunately, my parents didn't think the idea of being in love with a dream was sane so every so often, i would go to the psychologist, and we would have little chats. when i went there for the first time, i refused to say anything. i was furious at my parents and at the doctor who was trying to get me to share things that i absolutely did not want to. but slowly, i started to open up to her and i would explain to her my dreams. my dreams about an absolutely marvellous boy with astounding features. and the thing is, i wasn't telling her these things because i wanted her help. i just wanted someone to listen and to pretend that they actually believed in this boy. but there was one thing that i didn't want to share with the doctor, because it was confidential and she had no right in knowing. but i knew that one day she would ask and i knew that i had to answer her but i just wasn't ready when Dr. Kerren said,

"So this dream boy, does he have a name?"

and suddenly, i couldn't breath because my mind was just screaming 'NO! NO! Don't tell her!' and my hands were shaking and i knew i looked like a deer in headlights. i was panicking.

"Estella, dear, are you alright?" she asked, looking concerned. i took in deep breaths in and let it all out, as i calmed down.

"You don't have to tell me his name right now, don't worry about it!" she said, giving me a warm smile.

"But Dr. Kerren, you don't understand, he doesn't have a name," I whispered, my voice trembling. She looked at me with caring eyes, and nodded her head.

"Well then, that's great! For the next month, you will look for the perfect name for your Dream Boy!" she said, overjoyed. but all i could think of was how terrible this all was and how far from perfect this situation really was.

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yo

-t ♡