Superman's Love Letters

15 - Comparison

The look on Garth's face when I left him is something that I won't forget for a while. I almost want to run back at him and demand for an explanation. I wonder if I judge him harshly? But if there's one thing that I know of Garth, he's honest and frank. Not unless he hates Carl so much. And that's another mystery as to why.

But I think that it's a good thing that I stop myself. Why will I ask for an explanation anyways? It's not like I have the right or something.

God, it's just the weekend. Two days. Two freaking days. And I feel like everything has changed.

We have known for three years already and Garth or the three guys never flirted with me. So maybe it's just new for me that's why I reacted that way. Or maybe I'm ovulating, like what Avalon in Wattpad would say.

Oh God, I'm a hormonal teenager.

I couldn't really put into words what I felt when I read Sophie's text. The feeling is surreal for me. I feel betrayed when I shouldn't. I feel kind of hurt when I don't have any reasons to. And I feel like an idiot for acting like that.

Carl is silent while driving but I can feel that he's in deep thoughts. I look at him and I realize that what I feel towards him is different compared to what I feel with Garth.

With Carl, I always feel like I'm welcomed, appreciated. The comfort he gives me is something that I'll always crave for. It's been three years that I'm attracted to him and until now I still feel the same. I want to experience to be kissed but I don't really long for it with Carl. I'm contented with him no matter what we do. I don't look at his abs and fantasize about running my hands on them. I don't look at his lips and imagine what will it feel when they touch mine. I look at him and I just long for his comfort.

I realize that this might be what they call love. No lust... just a strong attraction that pulls you to want to be good for that person. Even when they don't want you.

With Garth on the other hand, it's different. I feel challenged because I'll never know how he will react the next. With him, I feel like the bad side of me comes out. When I look at his lips, I almost beg him to kiss me. It feels like my perception of what's wrong and what's right vanishes. The urge to just follow what you want to do at the moment wins without thinking about the reasons. Because sometimes when you think about the reasons first before doing something, you'll mostly stop and say, I don't have to do that, this is not me.

Garth is like a night in Las Vegas - full of unforgettable memories but not for the world to know.

Carl's hand touches my legs and I look at him and smile sadly, blue eyes to blue. My eyes are the only one I inherited from my father and the thought that I seldom visit resurfaces and I shake it away. I've been strong without my unknown father, I can make it without him.

"Are you okay?" He holds my hand with his.

"Yeah, thank you for fetching me."

Carl's POV

I nod at her and smile while still holding her hand with mine. The urge to ask him what Garth's doing in her house too early in the morning bothers me. But I refuse to ask her that now when she's in deep thoughts.

This sense of protectiveness I have with Kat is surreal for me. I want to protect her but the question is to who? Yeah, we've been friends for years and we have been protecting her and Cheska with guys who try to ask them out but this time it's different. Maybe because Kat has never dated and it calms me to know that. I just want her safe. I want her beside me where I know I can protect her because she deserves nothing but the best.

I feel a pang of jealousy looking at Garth and her and I feel like she's feeling something for him. I don't know what I feel with that.

"John's dating my mom that's why Garth slept last night in my house. They are out of town" I blink my eyes not knowing if I hear it right.