Creepypasta Experiences/ Research

Dreams and Voices?

Soooooo, just when I'd thought that publishing more than 2 entries in a day was a possible sign of me going nuts totally (wait, I'm sure that was long before though)...

Here I am with another one yeeee

But there's somethings that I really need to say actually

So, you know that thing called eigengrau? It's the colour we see when we close our eyes, it isn't exactly black. It's this shade. Now, anyone ever had this-- where they look at a bright object and when they blink/close their eyes theirs that thing floating in you vision, with this weird kinda border but it's still there?

That exactly is what troubles my sleep.

Now imagine this. You're in your room. You can navigate around, closing your eyes through it, because you know where every thing is placed (Or at least I do) But when you actually do, there's figures in your line of vision. It's almost like you are seeing something else with your eyes closed. And something without any freakin chance of ever showing up.

It's what's happening to me.

They don't stop at figures.

They're almost fragments of something that's going to happen, jumping at me all the time.

My dreams are almost like an alternate reality for me, a storyline that's been going on for too long.

And I don't have control over them. At all.

I don't want to go to sleep and face them again. That torture, all over again. Even if it's just a dream. Even if it isn't real all that much.

That's what keeps me awake. Won't let me sleep. Because I'm afraid.

What haunts me when I'm awake?

The voices in my head.

It seems silly saying it out loud, but there's times when I can't just stop.

I feel worthless. Rejected. I want to die. End my suffering.

(Fuck I sound like a fucking emo teen ik)

I can't say it's me anymore, more like two seperate entities.

They say that I shouldn't do this anymore. No one bothers. No one cares. I'm a liar, and I should know it myself. I'm a coward. I haven't done it yet. The only reason why I'm still writing this because a small part of the scared me still believes that someone's gonna believe me, offer me help, make me get back on my feet. (There's 200% more chances that the voice is righter than me but you know what damn it )

I know I haven't been answering messages and I'm lowkey just rude. I'm so sorry. I don't know what's happening to me.

And the worst thing of this ordeal is that a classmate of mine is reading this and making me overly judgemental welp and if anymore come here well I'll yeet them off here lol