Creepypasta Experiences/ Research

6th February, 2022. 10:30 am.

Heya. 

How's life been? Fairly good. I had a nice and quiet Christmas. Spent January without much popping up. Had a rocky relationship, got me a date- turns out I'm likable by high school standards and my empathy's been working. Can you believe it? Three people asked me out in a month. Three!

Everything does sound good, doesn't it?

Then why am I worried? Why does it feel like time's slipping away like sand from my fingers, like something's going to be wrong, why does it make me nervous like a prey animal?

For some context: you guys have heard of Wolf- the creepypasta written by katethered00, she's on Wattpad too. If you've heard of him, you know of SXCP, of Grinny and Toby and Clocky, of the big "war" between Slenderman and Zalgo, of the "truth is in black and white and lies are in red" charade. And, if you're well informed on this topic, you ALSO know that the account on Insta is fake, that whoever's running it is just playing a character. Many researchers proved that, both on Wattpad and Quotev. 

I know I'm not being very clear, my head feels like a messed up ball of yarn. The point I'm trying to drive home is that he may not be real. And yet, he probably is, just not the one running the Insta (hell, SXCP is even selling merch on Redbubble. what the fuck.). The war between Slenderman and Zalgo might not exist- and yet there's no denying Z might exist, in some other reality, in some other dimension. 

If we put it this way: our world, and theirs, are separated by a veil. Lesser entities probably wouldn't require much energy to cross over, but bigger entities do, which is why there exist cults, because they need someone here to latch on to, they cannot exist independently. 

We can't see them. But we sure as fuck sense it. For what our minds are limited by, there's still a small part of us that's on the lookout, because as advanced as we may be, there's always someone stronger, there's always a predator. So when there's so much information out there and you don't even know who's lying and who's not, there's only your own intuition you can trust.

Except for the main, fucked up point: I don't know what it's been on alert for.

Adrenaline. Our body counters stress by producing hormones like cortisol and adrenaline, which make you alert, allowing you to focus on the danger and take steps for survival. I'm already burnt out, I'm tired, and somedays I don't feel like doing anything other than lay on bed and sleep, just lie under my blankets, and feel safe and not worry. 

I'm sick of it. I'm tired. I feel weak. I don't wanna hold on anymore. I'm sorry, I'm sorry for ever coming into this, I'll run away and never return to this, but I know it's a lie, they always find out, they'll always find me...

I've also been kind of compelled to research more about Z. A strange, absurd obsession that my mind would like to justify as "Why not? It's better to be safe than sorry, and there's hardly much information documented." Yes. Sounds like a stellar idea, except for the fact that this bitch gives me fucked up nightmares. He hurts me. I don't even know how I manage to get cuts galore when I'm trying to poke around this topic. 

Don't worry, I've got my dumb ass in check, not doing anything till March 8th. 

Would be very poggers if I got someone to have my back with this by then ;-;