(Oh
Time is
Slowly
Tracing his face
But strangely he feels at home in this place)
THIS IS HOME.
"I think you're mad cute," Hongjoong smiles, eyes gleaming like pearls in the sunlight, and hands tucked beneath his head where he lays on the green lawn.
"You're cheesy, Hongjoong."
"And I like you more than I originally planned, San."
San grins. "Am I that irresistible?"
"You're too smug for your own good, and oh—! Look!" Hongjoong suddenly bolts upright, leaning over San's body to stare at something in the grass.
"What is it?"
"It's a clover," he says, "but look here—" Hongjoong points to the leaves. "—it has four leaves instead of three."
"And?"
"It means good luck." Hongjoong laughs, happy, and places the clover behind San's ear. "Maybe it'll bring us something good."
It didn't.
━
The past is unchangeable.
They lie in bed, side by side. Sunshine filters in through the checkered curtains, covering the room in broken beams of light.
It's peculiar, the whole ordeal, and they look at each other. They just look.
"I honestly can't remember half the things about us," Hongjoong says, hands tracing patterns on San's exposed chest.
"But it was nice," he adds hastily, when he sees the way San's expression wavers.
"Do you regret it?" San asks.
"Regret what?"
"Everything. I don't know."
"No. Do you still remember the way I made you smile?"
"Yeah. I don't think I've ever smiled as much as I did that summer."
San described himself like the ocean once, all push and pull, flexible, and never committing to anything but existence itself.
Hongjoong is afraid that San will slip through his fingers like wet sand, so he holds on, as tight as he can, and hopes that it's enough.
God, he really hopes it is.
"I-I... I don't know what to say to you, Hongjoong," San says, sitting up in bed, gathering the white sheets around himself and turning away.
Hongjoong moves to sit beside him. He tucks a stray piece of hair behind San's ear and kisses the side of his head before gently cradling his jaw and forcing their eyes to meet.
"Tell me how you've been," he says, "tell me about your life, tell me where you've been and what you've seen, tell me about Choi San, the boys with pink cheeks and starry eyes. Tell me about you.
YOU ARE READING
MYSTERY OF PAIN
Fanfictie꒰ COMPLETED ꒱ ━ SANJOONG 80S AU it's been so long that they wonder whether it was real at all, or a figment their minds conjured to save them from reality. they don't want to lose each other again, but what if they're not meant to be?
