All of own thoughts

Unheard Voice

Wake up with glommy, cold, calm, quiet weather really hits differently. Sometimes the thoughts came with the if, what, how. Those questions really keep you curious.

'If the decisions worth it'
'If i make the right choice'
'If it is okay to act like that'
'If they leave who would be the replacement'
'What if they stop there all of sudden'
'What if they found someone that might be better than you and leave you after'

Sometimes you need to settles/ solves everything by yourself. Helping people with all your ideas, your ears, your words and your action really does help them. Well I guess ? Sometimes I admit that i don't really need someone to hear all my nuisance problem but there was time i really need someone by my side all of my bad and good times. I admit i need a person to be with. I admit i got everything i had. I just lack of attentions, affections and feelings. I always be the one who gave up on something because main priorities that should be given is them. Not me. Sometimes voicing over something, voicing over your ideas is totally unworthy. It is totally never been considerate, and never be heard of. I admit i always be there with people. I sometimes tend to think im giving alot of people my times. I dont really mind giving my priority to people in need of my help, my ears and my energy. But sometimes i questioning myself, am i giving my own time enough? Am i giving myself  full of attention of myself? I swear the simplest words that could melt me, that could make me cry, that could make my heart soft is when people asking me 'Are you okay?' I swear, this words is rarely given to me. To the person that closest to me most of the times that i spend the most. Thank you so much. Your accompany will be remembered.