All for Him

"The Hospital Visit"

Johnny's nerves couldn't be anymore racked. He paced back and forth in the waiting area. Jaehyun, Johnny's boyfriend, tried to keep him calm, mostly because the receptionist was giving them a suspicious look.

"Johnny, he is going to be okay." Jaehyun said, standing up, trying to grab his boyfriend to make him sit down.

Johnny wheeled on him. "YOU DON'T KNOW THAT!" 

Jaehyun stopped. All eyes in the waiting area turned towards them. Johnny knew he had lost control, he took in a deep breath. Jaehyun just stared unblinking at him. Johnny sighed. "Sorry, I'm just-"

Jaehyun cut him off. "I know, I am, too, but you have to hope for the best and prepare for the worst."

Johnny just nodded. You weren't there. You didn't see him.

It had been about eight hours and Taeyong was still in surgery. He needed lots of blood and something about his diaphragm being ripped and one of his ribs being shattered.

Johnny had been pacing ever since the doctors' told him and Jaehyun that Taeyong's condition was very severe and he needed surgery right away. Johnny didn't want to call Taeyong's dad but he knew that they would find out anyway. Jaehyun had called them as they drove to the hospital. They were talking to the nurse, currently. 

Johnny looked over to catch Haechan's eyes. Haechan glared at him, with an emotion Johnny could only describe as hatred. Hatred, as though it was Johnny's fault and that he had been the one to stab Taeyong and leave him to die in that dirty alleyway. Johnny's face turned bright pink. 

It was my fault. I let him leave with that stranger. It's my fault. I brought him to a club. A place he had never been and had no experience around, and I left him alone.

Johnny couldn't stand being in the same room. He wanted to leave, to go home, to forget this night. Jaehyun must have noticed his boyfriend's change in demeanor.

"Johnny, you're not blaming yourself, are you?"

Johnny looked at Jaehyun, tears already falling down his face. "Yeah, I am."

Jaehyun took in his boyfriend's state. Red eyes, from crying. Messy hair, from the many times he had ran his hands through it. Bloodstained clothes, since he didn't want to change, afraid he might miss something and incoming dark circles, since it was almost midnight and Johnny was trying to not go to sleep. Jaehyun sighed.

"Babe-" he began.

"No! I don't want to hear you say that it is not my fault when it is!" Johnny screamed, heads turned. "I don't need your sympathy!!" Taeyong's dad heard the commotion and came over. He rested his hand on Johnny's shoulder.

"Look, son. I don't blame you."

Johnny fell to the floor. His shoulders heaved as he cried. He felt like such a mess. "But...I...then...if I had...maybe...I'm sorry." Johnny mumbled. He was crying too hard to even form coherent sentences. 

Taeyong's dad rubbed his back, which only made Johnny cry even harder. A old woman shook her head softly and a mother gripped her chest. On-lookers felt sympathy for this poor boy. They all gave him pitiful looks as they carried on about their lives or waited for the news of their loved-ones. They felt for him. 

Heaven only knows what he had been told. Some wished he would push through it, others wanted to console him, tell him, no matter what he was told, life would find a way to make it better, maybe not right now, or tomorrow or even 2 years from now, but one day, one day he will be alright and some just wished it wasn't as bad as it looked. None of the people wanted him to shut up or to be escorted out of the hospital. They knew what he was going through. Hospital are places people can enter and never leave out of. They just wished he would be alright.