Let go [One Shot Collection]

Losing Grip

Losing Grip

Are you aware of what you make me feel, baby?
Right now I feel invisible to you, like I 'm not real

I keep talking and telling how's my day. My voice is in high because of excitement. I'm excitedly tell him was my day was great. It was great because my family already accept I'm a lady now-- I mean old enough to do what I please. They also allowed me to finally have a boyfriend which is great! Kasi hindi ko na maitatago sa kanila ang relasyon namin. I'm excited to introduce him to my family.

I looked at him. My smile faded when I saw him not paying attention. I keep talking and talking but why is he not paying attention? I approach him. He just give me a glance and nod.

He is being cold day by day. I'm afraid he already lost his love on me. Hinawakan ko ang kamay niya na nakapatong sa mesa. He just paused, and back on tapping on his phone. My heart flinched on his actions. I'm  talking here, excited to tell him, na pwede ko na siya ipakilala sa pamilya ko. But there he is, busy on his phone.

"Hey, I'm here, not invisible." I waved my hand. He put his phone on the table. I smiled on him but his face is ruthless.

"Can't you see I'm busy? Stop disturbing." Napaatras ako dahil sa pagsinghal niya sa akin.

Didn 't you feel me lock my arms around you?
Why'd you turn away?

"I-I'm sorry." Napatungo ako.

Limitado na nga lang oras namin pero bakit hindi man lang siya natuwa o excited kasi after two days we meet again. He seems busy, but why is he smiling while typing on his phone?

I already sense he already losing a grip on me. I ignore it because I love him. Pathetic right? I'm being a martyr. I laughed scornfully. Kung kailan handa ko na siyang ipakilala sa pamilya ko saka naman naging ganito.

Here's what I have to say
I was left to cry there
Waitin' outside there

We've been together for almost a year. He's not like these. He's the guy I know who love to pay attention to me, who love to listen to my rant, who love to hug me whenever he see me cry. The guy who love to tease me, who love to make his face funny just to make me laugh. What happened to the guy I know? Now, he don't seem comfortable with me.

I scrolled down and saw our pictures happily together. I paused and stare at it. Reminiscing the old days. What happen to us? Masaya naman tayo dati 'di ba? Pero bakit ngayon mukhang hindi na. Nagsawa ka na ba? Nakulangan ka na ba sa binibigay kong pagmamahal? Hindi pa ba sapat? Hindi pa ba ako sapat?

Bakit naman ganoon, hindi ba dapat ayusin natin 'to? May maayos pa ba? Sabihin mo naman kung anong problema. Ano ang kulang. Ano ang nagawa ko. Hindi 'yong ganitong pinaparamdam mo sa aking kulang na ako, pinaparamdam mo sa aking wala na, sawa ka na. Mayroon na bang iba?