Let go [One Shot Collection]

Unwanted

Unwanted

All that I did was walk over, start off by shakin' your hands
That's how it went

Masigla ako napatalon talon habang parehong nasa likod ang mga kamay. Nabalitaan ko kasi na ngayon na ang uwi nila. Finally, after five years of waiting he finally came home.

"Erise! Andiyan na ba sila?" I can't contain my excitement. Sumilip pa ako sa likuran niya pero umurong lang ito at humarang. My twin sister looked at me with her most expressionless.

Hindi ko ito pinuna. Nasanay na ako na ganiyan ang pakikitungo niya sa akin. Mom also told me to  smile to people when their expression is like my sister gaving me.

I had a smile on my face and I sat up straight
Oh, yeah, yeah
I wanted to know you, I wanted to show you

So I smiled widely. She looks more irritated. "Ano? Andiyan na ba sila, Erise?"

She walks past through me. She even bumped my shoulder. Unti-unti napawi ang ngiti ko nang tumalikod siya sa akin at marinig ang sinabi.

"Don't be too delusional, Elyse. He didn't came back just to please you. At puwede ba tigilan mo ang ngiti na 'yan. Nakakairita lang."

We're twins since twenty years past but not even once I feel she wanted me to be her twin. For twenty years had passed she always blame and insult me in every chance she had for being a disgrace to this family.

You don't know me, don't ignore me
You don't want me there, you just shut me out

"Papa—"

As always he cut me down.

"Not now, Elyse." He gestures his hand to shut me.

Napaupo na lang ako sa tabi ng kalsada habang payapa pa rin nakatingin sa tabi ng bahay namin. Nagbabakasali na nandiyan na siya, nabalitaan ko ito sa kasamabahay namin na si Aling Lorna na uuwi na nga sila ngayon pero hindi ko pa rin nakikita nagbukas ang gate nila.

Gusto ko lang naman kausapin at tanungin si Papa kung kumusta ba ang araw niya. Ilang taon ko na rin 'yon subukan gawin pero ilang taon din ako hindi pinagbigyan magsalita man lang. Eversince my Mom died, they didn't put me any attention. They blame me for the death of my mother. Walang araw na hindi ako makakarinig ng mga masasakit na salita.

"You're so selfish." Galit na galit ang mga matang nakatingin ito sa'kin.

I tried to held her hands but she refused. "E-Erise, w-wala akong kasalanan. H-Hindi ko—"

"You always playing innocent! Simula pa lang mga bata tayo sa'yo na nakatuon lagi ang atensiyon ni Mama pati ba naman hanggang sa mawala siya rito?! Paano naman ako, Elyse? Kailangan ko rin nang aruga ng isang ina!" Pumiyok ang kaniyang boses.