The Shinigami King grew tired of his play, so he asked an old soul to change it.
Otherwise known as what happens when an eccentric, morally questionable, teeny tiny overpowered old soul is gifted an Evil™ sword and thrown in a couple thousand years...
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"My friends, this is Ulquiorra. I've adopted him as a potential future husband or brother or best friend for one of my baby girls," I introduced Ulquiorra to Starrk and Lilynette. "Don't worry, I've placed a barrier of my reiatsu around him so he won't get sick being near you two."
Starrk and Lilynette stared at Ulquiorra who stared back.
"Do you know how to play chess?" Starrk asked him.
Ulquiorra shook his head.
"Have you ever heard of a video game?" Lilynette asked him.
Ulquiorra shook his head.
Starrk and Lilynette were positively scandalized by Ulquiorra's lack of information. They proceeded to hug him.
"There, there," Lilynette consoled him. "We'll take care of you."
Starrk patted his head. "Everything is going to be okay now."
Ulquiorra turned his head to look at me, his expression unreadable due to his mask.
"Welcome home sweetie," I said with a smile. "I'll bring more baked goodies next weekend when I renew the barrier on you."
(◕▾◕✿)
Now a thousand years prior to the start of the story in 2005, Yhwach—the bastard of the Soul King—made a country of Quincy in a pocket dimension known as Schatten Bereich which was inside Soul Society.
One might wonder why exactly I hadn't gone to that kingdom and conquered it to put a stop the whole Yhwach bullshit right away.
That would be because the Soul King thought that would be too boring. Yeah, I could, but he didn't want me to. I wasn't allowed anywhere near that kingdom. It forced me to wait on the outskirts to try and grab the people out of there, but I only had a couple of hours every week to do so.
Basically, I was shiny hunting with a mod that randomly generated a Pokémon once a week, every week. Odds were stacked against me. My best chance would have been on the raid five hundred years ago, but the timing was not in my favor. The Soul King was such a dick.
