Heartbreak Weather

Still

My mind is complicated

Find it hard to rearrange it

But I'll have to find a way somehow

Overreacting lately

Find it hard to say I'm sorry

But I'll make it up to you somehow

And I just don't know why

The stars won't shine at night

Tell me you want it

A thousand miles away from the day that we started

But I'm standing here with you just tryna be honest

If honesty means telling you the truth

Well, I'm still in love with you

Did I miscalculate this?

Let's just go back to basics

Forget about what's come and gone

'Cause I hate to see us like this

Breaking up on nights just like this

We should be shooting for them stars of gold

So tell me you want it

A thousand miles away from the day that we started

But I'm standing here with you just tryna be honest

If honesty means telling you the truth

Then I guess we lost our focus

And it's killing me that we could go to war like this

But I'm standing here with you just tryna be honest

If honesty means telling you the truth

Well I'm still in love with you

Oh, we'll be alright

Oh, it'll be alright

Oh, we'll be alright

Oh, it'll be alright

So tell me you want it

A thousand miles away from the day that we started

But I'm standing here with you just tryna be honest

If honesty means telling you the truth

I guess we lost our focus

And it's killing me that we could go to war like this

But I'm standing here with you just tryna be honest

If honesty means telling you the truth

Well I'm still in love with you

The last notes started to fade out and I looked down, surprised to see my shirt wet. I hadn't realised I had started to cry.

This song was beautiful. Perfect. Heartbreaking. He was so hurt. I had hurt him so much. And he still loved me.

I genuinely didn't deserve him. I didn't deserve those words. But he still wrote them. For me.

When I had started listening to this album I had thought that it would give me some closure, that it would help me to get over him. I thought I would hear him singing about his new relationship or about his hookups with Tara, but all those songs were about me. It didn't give closure, it opened my eyes.

I still loved him. And I needed to get him back. Now.

I grabbed my phone from the sofa, forgetting that I had promised Kennedi to call her and walked over to the door. I slipped into my shoes, not bothering about the fact that I was still wearing joggers and that my hair was in a messy bun, and reached for my keys. I needed to see him.

-

The traffic in Los Angeles was a nightmare. Even though he didn't live far away, it took me almost forty minutes to get to his house. In the car I listened to the album for a second time which led to my face being stained with tears all over again.

I parked my car in front of his gate, tried to dry my face and unlocked the belt. I checked my face in the mirror one last time. I saw my messy hair, my wet cheeks and my red eyes. I knew I looked absolutely horrible, but I couldn't care less. I was here to see Niall.

I got out of the car and rushed to his door. Before I could start to overthink my actions I rang the bell and breathed heavily while I was waiting for him to open the door.

Nothing happened.

Maybe he wasn't even here. It was stupid of me to assume that he would be in Los Angeles right now, I knew how much he loved London and that he usually spends his free time with his family. Of course he wouldn't be here. I should just leave and send him a message, like every normal human being would do.

I was about to turn around and leave when suddenly the door opened. I raised my eyes and looked directly into Niall's blue ones.

He looked just like the day I had left him. His hair was long and messy, it even started to curl in his neck, he was wearing a short jogging trouser and an old shirt. His eyes looked tired as if he had just woken up and he looked at me like he had seen a ghost.

"Hailee? What are you doing here? Is everything okay? You look..."

"I also still love you" I interrupted him and his eyes got wide. "And I think we need to talk."

-THE END -