Steady On Forward

Chapter 13

Calling the family and telling them what had happened was one of the hardest things Dick had ever had to do.

Surprisingly, the hardest one wasn't Damian, it was Tim. 

"It's okay, it's okay, I don't blame you," he had kept saying, when Dick tried to apologize. "I understand, I get it."

Dick's breath had caught at the way Tim emphasized the words — surely Tim hadn't...had he? Had Dick not noticed?

"I've been there too," Tim admitted, confirming Dick's fears. "After all the stuff with my parents dying, and Bruce dying, and losing Robin, and then nobody believing me that Bruce was alive, and then all of my friends dying…I almost tried too. I get it, I don't blame you." He had taken a deep breath. "I know it fucking sucks, but I'm really glad you're alive, Dick. I know that doesn't make you feel better, but I am."

Dick had started crying again. "Thanks, Tim," he'd said, wiping fruitlessly at his eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry you've been here too and I didn't see it."

"I think we're even now," Tim said wryly. "Let's keep it that way, okay?"

The rest of the calls had by no means been easy, but they went more smoothly and with fewer tears from Dick after that. 

He had been bracing himself for anger from at least some of them, but there was none — they were all upset, to be sure, but not at him.

He was also thankful that none of them had pushed for more information than he gave. Dick wasn't really ready to talk about it more than just the very, very basics, and he was sure they were all concerned and curious, but he appreciated their restraint in not asking any questions.

Really, they had all been incredibly understanding about the whole situation, and he was so grateful for that.

After he'd hung up from the last call, though, he was left alone in the very, very boring hospital since it was now after visiting hours.

The very boring and yet very overbearing hospital, he thought, his eyes wandering again to the figure perched in the chair near the door.

Dick had to try very hard not to glare at the nurse assigned to him every time he looked in that direction. Really, the nurse had been nothing but nice, and had mostly been quiet and unobtrusive, but it was annoying not to have any privacy.

Once the staff had discovered he was awake, and done a small assessment, he had been informed that he would have to be on 'one-on-one', which apparently meant there must be a nurse watching him at all times because he was ‘high risk'.

Dick took that to mean that was their nice way of saying ‘you tried to kill yourself, so now you get no privacy so you can’t try again’. Seriously, he wasn’t even allowed to close the door all the way when he went to the bathroom. 

The bathroom was a whole process anyway, because he had to get the go-ahead to take off the blood oxygen monitor, and unplug the IVs from the wall. Luckily the heart monitor transmitted remotely, but it still had a heavy battery pack that usually sat in his lap, which he had to hold, otherwise the weight of it would pull the wires off of his chest.

And then maneuvering the IV stands over the high threshold into the bathroom (really, who had thought that design up?) was a whole other process. And only then could he go about figuring out how to arrange everything in the cramped room so he could actually do his business, while also trying to arrange himself so he could get a bit of privacy from the nurse. Not that the nurse actively looked, but it was still uncomfortable and vulnerable.

Oh yes, and after two minutes unplugged from the wall, the IV pumps started to beep loudly and shrilly pretty much right in his ear. Usually while he was attempting to wash his hands without both hurting himself further, and fucking up the tape. Unfortunately, one of the IVs on each arm was right in the side of his wrist, so pretty much any time he moved his hands at all, they started bleeding again, and the tape was far from waterproof so it was constantly coming off.