21 SINS IN THE ABYSS

Footprints of Anguish

A/N This chapter contains self harm and potentially disturbing content. If readers are sensitive regarding such matters, they are advised not to read this chapter.

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Your tongue is the softest organ, yet it breaks many a heart. No matter how much the heart deserves to be shattered, you are still the serpent. The world, ironically, always failed to fathom that the poison you brew inside yourself is first your indemnity and then another's pain...

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Athea entered the house with a grin. The whole day had been amazing. Ethan had complimented her and although she would usually cringe at such things, something about this boy made her heart flutter. Her grin grew wider and wider as she ruminated memories of the day. She kicked herself for acting like a stupid teenage girl in love. 

"BLAIRE BROOKLYN NYX! YOU DO NOT TAKE THAT TONE WITH YOUR MOTHER. We are very very disappointed with your behavio...."

Athea tuned her mother's screaming out of her ears. Her 11 year old sister - Blaire, was in for another scolding . She deserved it though. She was getting out of hand. Serves her parents right for pampering Blaire all this while. She shuddered at the memories of her childhood and tried pushing those thoughts away, not in the mood for another breakdown. She silently went around the drama and up the stairs to her room. After locking her door, she heaved a sigh, knowing that she was safe. Her mother would've definitely dragged her into the lecture as well. Now getting back to Ethan.... Her mind wandered off to more thoughts of him and that brought her to an unusually happy state. She took the opportunity to give her room a makeover. The teachers hadn't assigned anything and she was almost bursting with joy. She changed her bedspread to a teal one to match the beige walls of her small, yet warm room. She hung up some some pastel abstract artwork that she had painted above her queen sized bed. Finally, she added fairy lights on a wall with all her favorite pictures and hummed along as she cleaned up the mess. She gave her room a satisfied look as she propped Mr. Mishka up on her bed. That's the one thing that wouldn't ever change. Mr. Mishka couldn't be replaced.

She fell backwards on the bed and stared at the ceiling with a dreamy look on her face. She gave her room another look. Then it hit her. Change. She wasn't going to be happy forever. The feeling would eventually fade , like a distant memory. She was scared of being happy. Not because of the feeling itself, but because it had betrayed her every single time. Hell with Ethan. He probably wanted to keep her happy only until he got what he wanted. She got up with an empty look on her face as her legs carried her to the study table opposite her bed. She opened the cabinet just beneath the surface of the table and removed a black pouch. After emptying it's contents on the table , she sat on her chair. Her empty expression turned into a focused one as she looked at the five objects. A pocket knife, a bottle containing white powder, a bottle containing a mixture of random pills, a long ribbon and a blindfold. Each object, except for the blindfold was numbered from 1-4 respectively . She reached back into the cabinet and removed two packets. Both contained chits of paper. One pack contained 4 white chits numbered from 1-4. The other one contained 21 yellow chits. 20 of them were numbered from random digits falling under the 1-30 range. The 21st chit had an infinity symbol on it. She placed the yellow chits on her right and the white chits on her left. Her focused expression morphed into a maniacal smile as she put the blindfold on. She picked one chit each from the piles. Her hands slowly slid the blindfold off her face as she opened the chits to reveal the numbers. Her maniacal expression soon became one of pure glee. The white chit revealed the number 1 and the yellow chit revealed the number 8. She kept the pocket knife aside and wrapped up the rest of the things. 

She slid her fingers over the blade of the knife as if she was caressing the face of a long lost lover. With one swift move, she gashed the skin of her wrist and looked at the rosy liquid ooze out of her body. It never failed to amuse her. She repeated the same move two more times before she realised that it wasn't enough. She walked to her bathroom, stood in front of the mirror and cut herself again. And again. And again. She stopped to look at her pained expression and smiled. Pain suited her. She looked beautiful with her tear stained face. It was like death. Sad , yet beautiful. Her hands touched her face in her reflection and she smiled again. She scratched herself two more times to complete the total of eight. Her flushed face took on the expression of pure pleasure, as she looked at the pool of crimson liquid. She considered each of these elaborate self harm sessions to be like separate journeys in themselves and the scars they left as footprints. Footprints of anguish...

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Hey there, beautiful reader!

This chapter contained a lot of self harm ....and on a serious note, it's very dangerous. I'm always here if y'all need a shoulder or some help. Just DM me and reach out.....

Credits to @_xCredencex_  for helping me out with a major part of this book!!

 And to a certain girl who's gone through a lot. I know it's unfair how people don't understand. I'll never know how it feels to have gone through all that. But you must stay my strong woman forever. And if anything does happen....Your maid of honor will come to the rescue!

Lastly...happiest birthday @minsuga4evr!! I wuv chuuu <3