Smothered Emotions

Chapter 6

Today was the morning of the bonfire. Not even sleep could contain my excitement as my eyes flipped open, and I jerked up in bed. The room was mostly dark with silhouettes brightened by the remnants of a birthing sky. I turned to my roommate beside me; I couldn't see her, but I assumed she was fast asleep as her blanket rose and fell with her slumbering breath. Without making a sound, I crawled to the end of my bed and tiptoed down the stairs on the side of my bed. A light thud echoed through the room when my feet made contact with the cold tile floor, and I glanced towards my roommate, making sure she was still dormant.

I inwardly sighed in frustration as my feet slapped the floor lightly. Why did dusk have to be so silent? After my gradual journey to the closet, I was finally able to grab a pair of shorts, a shirt, socks, and shoes. Rolling my eyes, I began the journey to the bathroom. Once another eternity passed, I shut the door behind me lightly and began changing at lightning speed to make up for the time I had lost beforehand. Being a considerate person was exhausting. I peaked out the door to glance at my roommate once more and tiptoed to my door, grabbing my keys and phone in the process. I shut the door lightly and proceeded to lock it before jogging to the elevators. After a week of participating in this ritual, I missed being home and waving goodbye to my parents as they conversed over breakfast.

The lobby had the same eery feeling in my room as the squeak of my shoes echoed through the lobby. My phone alerted me of its low battery, but I knew it would be enough for this run. I put my earphones in, clicked play on my running playlist, and began jogging once the automatic doors opened. Running was my favorite part of the day because it was the one time my mind wasn't being bombarded with emotions that didn't belong to me. Each step allowed me to place a brick on the wall I was creating mentally, plastering siding, and adding another. Training my endurance also allowed me to have the mental strength to fight off episodes when my wall was penetrated.

Today was a perfect day for running because the wind aided me in maintaining homeostasis. While I previously held animosity for this campus, it began to grow more beautiful and unique with each step I took. The winding paths made my runs captivating since I couldn't predict where they were taking me. As I turned on a left corner, my eyes perceived a figure engulfed in blackness in my peripheral vision. My stomach turned to jelly and groaned in protest.

I took this as a sign to run faster. My animal instincts were placed in the driver's seat, making me run so fast I could no longer feel the bottom part of my body. In the recesses of my mind, a black cloud gradually consumed me as I tried to shake it off. I smacked hard into what seemed to be a human body as I made an abrupt turn, causing me to fly face-first into the pavement.

"Oh, my gosh. Are you okay?" A familiar husky voice questioned. Henry. His hands traveled to my arms, turning me face-up. I struggled to open my sealed eyes and used all the strength left in me to lift my lids.

"Henry?" I asked while my vision emerged reluctantly. Pain shot through my nose, and I lifted my hand, dipping a finger in the liquid running down my face.

"Your bleeding," he stated, putting his hand on the small of my back. He lifted me as I inspected the drop of blood on my finger. A river of blood rushed over my cupids bow, onto my chin. As I adjusted my stance, he ripped his shirt off and delicately placed it under my nose.

"What happened?"

"You ran into me, but you're okay. My dorm is nearby. I have a first aid kit," he lifted me in a cradle formation and proceeded to jog to his dorm. My vision alternated between clearness and cloudiness. I blinked rapidly, hoping to repair it. His footsteps slowed, and cold air fluttered around me. My vision returned as he placed me lightly on his bed. I stared down his ceiling in embarrassment as the sound of slamming draws filled the room. I realized I was still holding his shirt tight to my nose and sat up to search for a mirror.

"Where's your bathroom?"

"Don't move. You might have a concussion," he stood up from his previously crouching form with a first aid kit clasped in one hand. He opened it, sifting through equipment you would find in a first aid kit: bandaids, wipes, gauze, and more. I wasn't sure what he was looking for because there was nothing in a first aid kit to deal with a concussion.

"You know there's nothing in there for concussions, right?"

"Sorry," he sighed, pushing it away. His eyes moved towards me, and he hunched over me, investigating my nose.

"It's not bleeding anymore," I squeaked out. His fingers caressed my face as he delicately inspected it. Breath in. Breath out.

"Does anything hurt?" I shook my head slightly, trying not to bump foreheads. His eyes traveled to my lips for a second before he turned to grab a pen from his desk. I couldn't tell if the adrenaline rushing through my veins was coming from him or me. He returned, placing the pen in my line of vision. "Follow the pen with your eyes."

I did as he said, tracking the pen's every movement. He sighed, but I couldn't register, whether it was in relief or worry.

"I don't think you have a concussion, but you should go to the clinic later today just to check," he placed his pen back where he took it and dragged his chair towards me. My ears cringed as the chair clawed the floor. He plopped in front of me and studied me some more. I shifted uncomfortably, searching for my phone.

"Did you see my phone anywhere?"

"No, is it not there?" I shook my head violently, jumping off the bed to get a better look. "Whoa, calm down. You probably dropped it when you fell. I'll go back and get it. Just wait and rest; I'll be back soon," he lifted me again, placing me back on his bed and grabbed his keys from a hook next to his door. He disappeared through the door, leaving me with my own thoughts. His shirt on his bed caught my peripheral view. The white of the shirt was drowned in blood.

"Fuck," I sighed, covering my face in embarrassment. Henry was going to remember me as nose bleed girl forever. I searched for his bathroom and walked up to the mirror. Dry blood was splotched all over my face; I stared in horror. I frantically splashed my face with water until I could no longer see red running through the drain. Sighing, I turned up to look in the mirror, used a hand towel to quickly dry my nose, and scrunched my lids together, returning to building the wall I was preoccupied with earlier. Once I was done, I returned to his bed. The door hinge clicked, and I turned my head to see Henry walk in with my phone in hand. How long had I been in my mind?

"Found it in the bushes," he waved it around before placing it next to my thigh. A fully charged bar flashed on my screen. Must've been a glitch.

"Thank you," I hugged him before realizing what I was doing. I instantly tried to pull away, but his hands tightened around my waist.

He released with a grin, "no problem. Seriously, though, don't forget to go to the campus clinic. If they say you have a concussion, do not go to the bonfire," his eyes were brimming with concern.

"Okay, Dad," I giggled, grabbing my phone as I hopped off his bed.

He rolled his eyes as he leaned backwards on his bedframe, flexing his forearms. I tried to envision anything but me licking each individual vein popping out of his arm. "You need to text me how it goes," he reached over me to grab his phone and clicked through his contacts app. I typed in my number and placed his phone in his hand. I watched as he typed Liv with a tongue emoji.

"What's the tongue for?" I asked in pure confusion.

"Nothing that you need to worry about," he smirked, springing on his bed.

"Anyways, River told me about eating before the bonfire?"

"How? He texted you?" A hint of jealousy flashed over his face.

"Yeah, when and where are you guys planning on meeting? I don't want my best friend hounding me today," I chuckled.

"I don't know. Just make a group chat later with your friend in it," he shrugged, closing the first aid kit beside him.

"Okay, well, I'm gonna go. I got shit to do today," I sighed. He stood up quickly and beat me to his door, opening it for me.

"Okay, text me later," he reminded me as I passed him.

"Okay, okay, I will," I rolled my eyes, giggling.

"See you later, Liv," he waved with a wink, and I turned down his hall, wondering how my phone was fully charged.