I will be there for you | Merluca

Part 1

"I need to check on my kids. I'll be back in a minute. Okay?"

Andrew nodded absently. He heard her, he answered her earlier, but he wasn't there at the same time. He didn't speak the whole way home. He was still crying when they arrived. She didn't want to leave him like this alone downstairs for too long, even if it was just for a minute. She looked into her children's rooms just to make sure they were asleep and went downstairs as soon as she assured herself that they were all okay.

She saw Andrew sitting in front of her couch. In the same position he was, when she found him on the floor in front of the nurses station earlier. She had never seen him like this before. Not when Sam left, not when his father was in Seattle. This was different and it broke her heart to see him so lost in his own mind, in his own thoughts. And not being able to help him. But maybe what he needed was someone to be there for him. She went over to the couch and sat down on the floor beside him. Leaning against the couch. One of her hands covered his hand, which was resting on his knee.

"Andrew" She tried. She wasn't sure what exactly she was trying to do. He was staring into the room, he seemed so far away, even though he was sitting right next to her. She tried to get to him. Maybe even to make it a bit better for him. Somehow. This was a battle she couldn't fight for him, but she hoped that being there for him now would help at least a little bit.

"I don't understand. I- I can't" His voice was breaking more with every word he spoke and something inside her broke too. Seeing the tears glistening in his eyes again. She instinctively put her other hand on his neck, like she did before at the hospital. She didn't know where they were standing right now. In their relationship. But in this moment, she wanted to be there for him. She needed to at least try to help. And he let her. After weeks of pushing her away, he let her.

"It's okay, Andrew. It's okay. You are going to be okay" it would be a long way to be okay again, and somehow it probably never will be like it was again. But it will get better with time. She hoped.

Her hand slowly travelled to his back rubbing in circles. Trying to give him some comfort at least.

They sat on the floor for a while in complete silence. It was a calming silence. She could feel how Andrew relaxed a bit, how his breathing got a bit calmer and the crying got less. It wasn't much, but it was something. And if this, just sitting next to him, allowing him to feel all the emotions he felt in that moment, helped him… Then that was what she would do for as long as he wanted it. Because there was no way to take these feelings away from him right now. She only hoped that it would help him to not be alone with this.

After some more moments she suggested to sit on the couch. They eventually got up and sat down on the couch they were leaning on before. Andrew let himself rest against Meredith. Seeking the comfort, she was offering. It didn't take long, before the exhaustion from the day and all the past weeks and months took over and he fell asleep. In Meredith's arms.

.

After a while Meredith heard someone coming home. It was Maggie.

"You are still up?" Maggie asked after she came in and saw Meredith on the couch. It was only after she put her bag down that she saw Andrew asleep next to her.

Meredith gestured her to be quiet, before she slowly distracted herself from him, trying not to wake him up again. She got a blanket out of one of the closets in the living room and laid it over Andrew's sleeping figure, before she went over to Maggie.

"What are you doing here? I thought you were staying at the hospital tonight?" Meredith questioned a bit confused.

"Yeah, Amelia just asked me to get a few things for her."

"Is she okay?" Meredith saw Amelia short before she left the hospital. Feeling too exhausted to stay longer but wanting to see them before she went home.

"Everything is fine. Amelia and the baby are doing great. Link is with her. And Richard is also doing good."

"Good." Meredith answered, her mind already on Andrew again, after Maggie assured her that Amelia as well as Richard were okay.

"Mer. Are you okay?" Maggie asked a bit concerned.

"I will be." Meredith answered after glancing at Andrew for a moment.

"How is he? Is he okay?"

"No, he is not. And you know that he isn't." Meredith got a bit annoyed with Maggie, asking if everything was fine, when so obviously everything was not fine. She knew that Maggie was just concerned and that it wasn't fair of her to snap at her. But her worrying mixed with the tiredness didn't help in that moment.

"I'm sorry, Mer. I know I wasn't fair earlier today."

"It's okay, Maggie. I'm sorry. I will go try to get some sleep now. Tell Amelia that I'm happy for her. I will try to visit her tomorrow."

"I will. And Mer, if you need anything, you can call me."

"Thank you." Meredith said before she went to her room, looking back one more time to see Andrew sleeping on the couch. How she wished she could just lay down next to him. But the couch wasn't big enough for that and she didn't want to wake Andrew, after he finally fell asleep. Besides she wasn't even sure if he wanted her to be there. He had let her take care of him today after all these weeks of yelling at her, after he told her that she should leave, that he didn't love her anymore. She doubted it, but there was this uncertainty to their relationship. That she didn't know where they were. There was a lot of figuring out to do the next few days and weeks. She hoped they would make it. Because if anything, it made her realize that she loved him and that she didn't want to let him go.