I will be there for you | Merluca

Part 8

Meredith was slowly waking up. She was lying on her side of the bed, questioning whether she should stand up or stay there.

The last few days she had always been the one who was up first. She had helped the kids to get ready for school and she had let Andrew sleep a little longer. On one side, because she knew how exhausted he looked, how tired he was. On the other side, because the only thing she wanted was to be in Andrew’s arms again. That he would hold her and kiss her in the morning. But that wasn’t really where they were right now. And even waking up with him seemed to be too intimate.

They had gotten closer again. He had let her be there for him. And she felt that he still liked to be in her presence, that he had feelings for her… when she came home the other day and found him cooking in the kitchen, when she went over to him and he relaxed after a moment when she hugged him and then he had planted a kiss in her hair… Or when he tugged a strand of hair behind her ear, when they laid down a few days ago and he let his hand rest on her cheek for a moment… All these moments had shown her that there still was something, that he tried as good as he could in those moments to work on their relationship.

But then there were those other moments that had shown her that he wasn’t completely ready for more yet. When he had woken up before her yesterday, and waited downstairs for her to get up. Or that sometimes he still put a little distance between them.

But last evening Andrew seemed like he wanted to say something. Her head was going to that moment again, where he was just looking at her. His intense gaze letting her have that feeling again. The one she had often had when they started dating and in their early relationship, before everything started to fall apart with the stress of her trial and his mental illness… The feeling of… being loved.  It was the first time since they had broken up, where he was just focusing on her. And somehow this moment made her stay in bed this morning.

Meredith slowly turned around to face him, when she noticed that he was already awake. And seeing that he was waiting that morning for her to wake up made her feel …hopeful, somehow.

“Good morning.” Meredith gave him a small smile, blinking with her eyes a few times, to get used to the light that was coming inside through the window behind him.

Andrew offered her a warm smile in return. He looked at her for a moment longer. And something about his face was telling her that he had already been up for a while, thinking about something; just like he did last night.

“Mer…” he said it so quietly, that she barely heard it. It seemed like he was trying to get her attention, but wasn’t completely sure about it and decided otherwise the last second. He was silent for another moment, before he spoke again. “I said- I said that I didn’t love you, but-“ he searched for her eyes, looking at her “I do love you.“

She kept his gaze, surprised and overwhelmed by the emotion she was feeling by hearing him say these words again. It made her feel warm and loved, seeing that he still felt that way, despite the past few weeks.

And she was almost sure that it was what he wanted to tell her the night before when he couldn’t quite put it into words just then. And it was okay, because she knew herself how deep and overwhelming these words were to her sometimes.

She was glad for every small moment that had given her hope, but hearing him say these words was so much more. It was the first time that he not just let her be there for him, but truly opened up to give her his love again.

“I love you, too.“ Meredith said softly after a moment, looking in his eyes.

They stayed in that moment for a while, just gazing at each other. The feeling, the tension between them getting more intense the longer their moment went on, but both not wanting it to end.

She saw how his eyes flickered to her lips for a short moment and then back to her eyes again. Looking at her in that way that made her heart flutter. With love. Like she was the only thing that mattered in that moment. She noticed his eyes slowly wandering to her lips again for a few seconds.

“Do it.“  she whispered, when she saw him searching her eyes again. As if he wasn’t sure if he was still allowed to kiss her.

Andrew slowly leaned towards her, gently placing his hand on her neck. She could feel his once familiar warmth, he was only inches away from her. She saw him looking in her eyes one more time, before he closed the last distance and his lips met hers. Tenderly … in a slow kiss. His hand resting on her neck, not pushing her, but gently keeping her close to him, as if he never wanted to let go of her again. And for a moment she let herself go in the feeling of him, closing her eyes, enjoying their closeness, the feeling of him.

They slightly pulled away after a moment, staying in each other’s half-embrace, neither of them wanting this moment to end.

“I want to be with you. I want to get better.“ Andrew said, still looking at her, holding her close to him.

“Okay.“ Meredith whispered, assuring him that this was what she wanted, too.

This moment, this kiss didn’t solve all their problems, it didn’t make all the things that happened go away. There would be more bad days, more disagreements, but there would also be more happy moments… It was their new start to get through this together…