I will be there for you | Merluca

Part 7

Meredith has left to see Amelia and Andrew had taken a quick shower, after he came back from jogging. Now he and Carina were sitting on the couch.

“How are you? “ Carina asked softly. It was very unlike her. Andrew and her usually had this kind of teasing and arguing way with each other, but now he could only hear how worried she was about him. And it was one of these things that hurt him more than he ever thought it could. She was concerned about him and he knew that the way he had treated her the last few months, hurt her; while she was just trying to help him. And he felt sorry because it was the last thing he wanted to do. Just like he never wanted to hurt Meredith.

Andrew had apologized, they had talked about some of the things that happened. And it was as much as he could give right now, because there was still so much he didn’t understand himself and feared to face, there was still so much weighing on his mind, so many thoughts he tried to sort through. But one of the things he did know was that he didn’t want to hurt the people he loved.

“Andrea? “ Carina asked again after a moment.

He started to tell her how he felt, as good as he could. He was still struggling to put everything into words. He apologized, he let himself be vulnerable. And then Carina was embracing him. They were never the kind of siblings who hugged each other. It just wasn’t in their nature. But when a few tears started to form in his eyes, and he tried his hardest to not let them fall out in front of his sister; Carina went over to him to embrace him.

He had told Meredith about his fears before and it helped him, but everything was still so evident that it hurt to talk about this; to admit to his fears out loud, to talk about his father. And in that moment, he was glad to have his sister there. They would never become the hugging kind of people, but it felt good to know that she was there for him, when he needed her.

Carina loosened her grip a little, so she could look at Andrew again. Once she made sure that he was okay, or better, she leaned back against the couch again.

They were sitting there in silence for a while, Andrew going through his thoughts and Carina observing him, before she started again “Tell me about Meredith.“ When she saw Andrew’s confused face she explained with a genuine smile “I know she means a lot to you, Andrea.“

“I- She helps me. Being here with her helps me a lot.“ He was looking around the house, wondering how he got so lucky that Meredith still stayed by his side, that she was there for him. “She is the person who is able to even now make me feel better…. I- I don’t know what I'm supposed to feel, how I'm supposed to feel… but, she-  she makes me feel… loved.” he paused for another moment “I want to try. I want to get better. For her.“

“I’m glad you found her.“ Carina stated with a smile, after observing her brother talking about Meredith.

“That means a lot to me.“ Andrew answered, emotional from laying out his feelings, but also touched by his sister’s words.

Andrew and Carina talked for a while longer, before Meredith and her kids came back. She had brought pizza and Chinese takeout with her. Knowing that with two Italians at her house, Chinese food for the adults was definitely the better option. But she also knew that her kids preferred the American pizza…

“I should probably go now.“ Carina stated once she saw that Meredith was setting the table for their ‘dinner’; the takeout she had brought with her.

“No, please stay. We never really got the chance to meet before.“ Meredith invited her to join their dinner.

“Stay, please.“ Meredith heard Andrew next to her, she could see the look he was giving his sister and was glad to see that they could convince her.

They all sat down on the table. Her kids starting to talk about their lives, here and then asking Carina a few questions, curious as they were. And it was nice to spend some time not only with her family, but also with a part of Andrew’s family.

The evening came to an end. Meredith said her goodbye to Carina and then went upstairs to put the kids to bed, leaving Andrew and Carina downstairs.

“These three are curious.“ Carina stated with a smile, while putting on her coat again.

“Oh. They only got started. “ Andrew laughed a little, thinking back to when he first met them as their Mom’s new boyfriend, and had to answer all their questions during their little interrogation.

Carina smiled a little when she heard his laugh again “You seemed better this evening.“ His sister brought him back to reality. She knew that just because he seemed a little better this evening, he would need more help than that, but she was happy to see him smile again nevertheless.

After Carina observed him for a moment she added “Tell her.“

“What?“

“Andrea, I can see how much she and her kids mean to you.“ She gave him a warm smile, before she left the house.

…

Carina had left, Meredith had brought her kids to bed and Andrew and her were once again lying down on the bed that evening as well, both on their sides, just facing each other.

Over the last few days it had become their new routine; they wished each other a good night, before they drifted off to sleep. And for now it was enough, because she knew that it would take time for them to get through this, and she wanted to give Andrew the time he needed. But today he seemed like he wanted to get something out, that he was just trying to find the right words. And instead of just wishing him a good night, she waited to give him time to put his thoughts into words.

“Thank you. For – It was good to talk to Carina today. Thank you for letting her stay this evening. It meant a lot to me.“

“She is your family.“ Meredith offered him a warm smile, telling him that his family would always be welcome.

Andrew was looking at her gratefully, his eyes meeting hers. They were getting lost in each other’s gaze, they stayed in this moment for a while.

“Mer..” Andrew whispered softly.

It was silent again and she could see that Andrew wanted to say something else but couldn’t put it into spoken words.

“Thank you, Mer.“ She heard him say instead, while his eyes were telling her so much more. The way he was looking at her, was what always made her feel warm and home. She had missed that look for a long time.