𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝙲𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚘𝚏 𝚊 𝙻𝚒𝚏𝚎𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎 ✓ (𝟷𝟾+)

The Confidant

Arin

Xavier's knuckles turn white, gripping the steering and he fists the horn a couple of times before placing his head over it, "It was all my fault."

The honk from the parked car was disturbing the passersby on a Saturday morning, some on whom even flipped their fingers at us. What was more concerning was Xavier's behavior.

He didn't speak or move from the time he placed himself inside the car. Besides driving, which I was glad that he didn't do in his thought wandering condition, he didn't want to talk either. I made another hopeless attempt. As all others have failed but this time, I tried something new.

Picking his clenched hand from over the steering, it took a lot of strength to pull it towards me. He was reluctantly withholding it. The tension between his fingers were felt by my muscles.

"If you don't tell me, then how can I make fun of your sissyness." I asked, hoping it would get him to react. Through all his sad and mysterious expressions, a smile erupted. A small yet beautiful one which was followed with a huffed air release. Loosening his grip, he eased into my touch and his shoulders moved to support his head turn. "Tell me.. why are you beating your self up?".

Xavier signed and growled from the inside and his head shook before he looked back at me with pleading eyes. "Remember the time I told you, I'd take care of things." As my thoughts wandered to which part he was referring to, he quickly blurted, "The day when you found out about Stella.."

"Oh yes," my body and mind were in complete attention. Stella's name always had that command over me. You know, once bitten, twice shy. That kind of thing. "What about it? And how is this related?"

Xavier nodded to himself as if he was convincing his body to let him speak. If there was something so difficult that was to be said, even I needed to be prepared for it. Inhaling, I held up my breath till he uttered his first words. "Roger didn't do it. I asked him to tell you to be his fiancé."

The air held back deflated through my mouth. The entire day, since morning ran as trailer in front of me. I felt dejected. Xavier proceeded to convey the whole story. The parts he told me he would do and the others, which I had no idea would be done. By the end, it was clear that Roger only cared about a successful merger for was willing to take any Oswald girl who would present herself. The subsect of it was the understanding that he jumped the gun.

Xavier was supposed to be the one to ease me into the news. The news about Roger wanted me for nothing more than to enact being a toy. Upon uttering those thoughts which engulfed my soul, Xavier was quick to defended Roger. "You are wrong here."

Bending over to strap me in place while I sat like a lost child, he strapped his own seatbelt before driving. The flying buildings and shops were blurred as tears formed again. It has a tendency to come sooner than expected nowadays. Maybe I might be having my period.

Xavier drove for long. And for long I sat in silence, eating up by the thoughts of being unwanted. Of carrying the knowledge that Roger had known about me and yet, he wanted nothing to do with babydoll. I pitied my foolish brain which thought something could blossom between us, something could grow in desert. What I learnt was jarring. Only cacti grew in arid weather and places and I was crazy to think, I was could have watered Roger's heart back to its former greenery.

The car screeched to a halt a children's park and Xavier got out. He didn't ask me to come and simply trotted to stand near the higher benches overlooking the swings and slides. If he was employing reverse psychology, it was working. Unbuckling my belt, I walked over to the bench and place myself besides him. He didn't waste a minute more to continue.