Never Say Never

Chapter Five- April

No matter how hard I tried, his face never escaped my mind. The pictures of him and I swarming the internet surely didn't help. The more I thought about it, the more apologetic I became, which genuinely surprised me. I was so angry at him, yet I still felt a tad remorseful for my rash actions. Of course, I had the right to be angry, livid even, but it would be rather unkind to refrain from forgiving him because I personally do not like him even though I feel bad for how I reacted. Yes, he had been extremely in the wrong, but my hands weren't completely clean either.
    My hand fidgeted nervously as I stroked the empty coffee cup with my thumb as I sat at the red light, rubbing my finger over the phone number written in bold permanent marker. He deserved forgiveness, after all, he was genuinely sorry, even if he had gone about apologizing the wrong way. If I was in his shoes, I would've gone up to him too to apologize a second time, and not just because I have been gifted with a guilty conscience. I think I'm ready to forgive him, not due to the fact that I feel guilty about holding this grudge, but because I really was sorry and he needed to know that. But after everything is said, it can all be over, which is one of the main reasons I'm apologizing.
      I set my shaky hands back on the wheel as I hung a left into the semi-full Target parking lot. I put the car in park as I finished pulling into the space, taking my phone out of the cup holder right after. I held it nervously, picking up the cup to copy the number in my other hand. I dialed the number, taking a deep breath before pressing the call button.
     "Hello," he greeted, immediately picking up the phone on the first ring.
     "Heyyyy Tom," I answered timidly, setting the cup back in the holder, using my fingers to tap nervously against my thigh.
      "Hi," he replied , causing me to gain uneasiness.
        I decided to just come out with it since silence was getting us nowhere. "I'm sorry!" I blurted it out shakily, anxiously waiting for a response as the beating of my fingers sped up rapidly. He let out a sigh, causing my curiosity to rise.
      "April, you have nothing to be sorry abo-"
     "Yes I do Tom! I mean yes, I had every right to be angry, but I shouldn't have slapped you like that o-or snapped like I did or acted like I did in Starbucks and-"
     "APRIL STOP!" he yelled, making my sentence suddenly stop short.
     "You don't need to be sorry, you have every right to hate me even more than you did before and I know you want nothing to do with me but I only ask that you know how sorry I really am," he apologized, getting a small smile out of me that I immediately erased from my face.   
      "Tom, it's ok, and all personal feelings set aside, I'm sorry for my actions." I sighed, running my hands through my shoulder-length auburn hair.
      "Even though you didn't do anything wrong, I forgive you," he said sweetly, making that same smile appear again for a longer time.
      "Again, I really am sorry. I don't know what came over me, if I could take that moment back, I would," he said sorrowfully.
     "It's really ok, but I think it's for the best that we both just part our separate ways and be done with each other." I told him in a relieved yet somewhat saddened (for some reason) tone. I heard my phone beep and I saw that Jordan was calling me.
       "I've gotta go," I told him, giving him time to respond which I would have never done before.
      "Thanks for calling me," he said genuinely, causing the smile to linger a tad.
      "Bye Tom," I told him somberly, hanging up and answering Jordan's call.
       The second I answered,  she hounded me with a thousand questions, not a single breath in between each one.
      "Woah, woah Jordan, calm down! One at a time," I told her quickly, my eyes receding to their normal size.
      "How are you feeling about Tom?" she asked, causing me to let out a sigh.
      "I was actually just on the phone with him now before I answered your call, we both apologized, but we agreed that we should just go our separate ways to avoid any more conflict," I told her, stroking the ends of my hair.
       Knowing good and well how she was going to react to me telling her that I just called him, I held my phone away from my ear just as Jordan screamed very, very loud, "HE GAVE YOU HIS NUMBER?!" she gasped over and over, not grasping the information.
       I let out a groan before answering, "Yes, Jordan, and before you ask,  no, I'm not giving it to you." I replied while rolling my eyes.
      After Jordan finally calmed down, she spoke. "Well, if he's sincere with that apology, why not give him a chance? You moved to LA two years ago and haven't dated once! You shouldn't throw away all potential boyfriends! I mean he obviously likes you because he wouldn't just run up and kiss you for no reason," she giggled, obviously at her peak of fangirling, which made me gag.
    "No way, Jordan, I am NOT dating Tom Holland. What you see in him, I don't know, but I definitely do not want to date him. End of story," I sighed, trying to erase what just came out of her mouth.
       Jordan eventually gave up and told me about her day, and we talked about that for a few more minutes before hanging up. I banged my head against my headrest, thinking about what would happen if I did date Tom. I released my head from the back of the seat and sat up, putting the car back in drive. Is this thing between him and I really over?