DOMINICK © [ENGLISH EDITION]

Chapter thirteen

🔺Warning.
The following Episode may contain material not appropriate for all adult audiences. If the topic of self-harm is not your strong suit, you should skip this episode before its end.

I left Emily's house, with only a pair of pants on. Totally shattered, I have lost the person, with whom I had a chance to heal ... I have lost everything because of you. Damn addiction.

Dominick...

I started to breathe fast. I already think I understand what is happening, my addiction controls me, and it is achieving it completely ...

Fuck...

"Shut!! Shut!! I hate you! I hate myself!" He yelled as he hit my head over and over, desperate. I came out barefoot, the cold of the pavement getting through my feet and running through my body. Thunder could be heard, my head screaming at me more than once. I ran, I left the bike, nothing was worth it. I ran nonstop, still feeling tired, I didn't stop. Right now I wanted to die.

Dominick ... Do it.

"AGGHHH !!" I yelled, falling to my knees on the road. That man came back to me, he was going to hit me and I moved on my knees, scared, escaping from that image in my head.

"Dominick! Dom! Stop it! ... It's me, Ethan ...!" He yelled at me, shaking me by the shoulders.

"Get away! Don't hit me! What do you want of me? Leave me alone!" I was yelling at nothing, desperate. I could hear Ethan screaming, but I didn't understand them. He slapped me and I reacted by looking into his eyes, looking scared at him, nervous, trembling. He looked at me inexplicably, not understanding what was happening.

"What...? what's the matter?" He asked me, freaking out.

I lowered my gaze, frustrated. "I want to die."

"Don't say that! Enough Dom!" He yelled at me, hugging me like a child, leaving his chin on my head. I started crying non-stop.

"Let's go home, you explain to me there, okay?"

"I lost her. I lost her brother, I can't do anything right, damn it!" He was lamenting, angry with myself.

"Is it about Emily?" I nodded. Come on." he helped me to my feet, nervous.

We went back to Ethan's house. His parents were there, I didn't deign to greet them, I just went straight to the room. Ethan ran after me, I threw myself on the bed with a cry crying, clutching the pillow as hard as I could. Ethan sat next to me and put his hand on my back.

"Come on man, don't be like that ... tell me what happened."

"I'm a shit man, I hate myself." I'm fucking addicted to uncontrollable sex! I yelled at him as best I could. I felt horrible, heavy, I hate myself.

"Fuck." He was silent for a moment. "But ... can't you find someone else?"

"That will never happen! Never!" I yelled, raising my head, imperative. "I've lost everything ... EVERYTHING!!" I yelled, putting my face back on the pillow, crying.

"I'm sorry man, I don't know what to do... I'll leave you alone for a while..." he said, standing up. I didn't say anything about it, maybe I did want to be alone. I heard the door creak as it closed, apparently he had already left.

I want to die!!

Dominick... Do it.

I fell asleep crying. Thinking about how I spoiled what was beginning to form. That relationship that somehow only did me good. I hate myself so much, now I understand those words for no reason that I said to myself in the morning.