No Guidance [Spencer Reid x Reader 18+]✔️

Sealed With A Kiss*

Recap: Spencer is in jail in Mexico for drugs and murder. Our reader feels betrayed he didn't let her in. She knows he wont make it in prison.

TW: angst and some sadness

Start the song when he starts the letter ❤️

Smut warning: Choking, biting, hair pulling, degradation and praise.

Spencers POV:

Spencers interview with Emily went decent. While she didn't get any useful information, stating he wasn't mentally capable, the team managed to get Spencer transferred back to the US.

The ride home was tense. Spencer sat next to her trying his hardest to comfort his numb lover. He wanted to scoop her up and take her far away from this. She didn't deserve it. She'd been through so much. He was supposed to be her peace and here he is, being thrown in prison. Keeping them separated.

The ride home was quiet as the team slept. She was asleep with her head in his lap, her hand wrapped in his. Her breaths were soft and steady. Spencer used his free hand to run his fingers through her hair, admiring the little time he had left with her. Spencer memorized her features long ago, but in this moment he studied them as if it was the last time he would ever see them again.

What if I never see her again?

This thought ran through his mind a lot. Spencer knew he couldn't survive without her. He needed her. He needed her touch, her smell, her moans, to hear his name roll off her pretty little lips, to watch her little dance as her food came, her laugh. He needed her.

When he knew she was very much asleep he pulled out a piece of paper and began to write a letter to her:

Dear Angel, babydoll, Y/N:

Right now you're asleep in my lap. Your breathing so steady and your face is peaceful. You look like the angel I know you are. I don't even know where I'm planning on going with this letter. I want you to keep it the entire time I'm away. Think of it as a reminder of how sorry I am, how much I love you. Lying was wrong, but I was scared. Scared to be so vulnerable. Scared and helpless. I felt weak. I shouldn't have but I did.

Do you know why I called you Angel? It's not because you saved me, well kind of but its so much deeper than that. You are mighty, strong. You are the protector I craved my entire life. You showed me how incredible it is to be loved. To completely surrender yourself to one person. It's something I said I would never do again. Not after what happened, and yet here I am.

You are everything. You are more than everything. I don't have a word to describe what you are. Billions of words and I cannot find one to explain you.

Alls I can explain is how sorry I am, and how fucking much I love you. It runs deeper than the oceans, farther than space, larger than any planet. You're my future. My wife. The mother of my fucking children. There is not if, ands, or butts. I am completely enamored with you.