A Perfect Storm

March

Author's Note: I promised you there would someday be an update, and it took me forever, but it's finally here. This chapter is double the length of the others in this story, so I hope that helps make up for my absence.

Spoilers/Trigger Warning: This chapter discusses frank realities of childbirth. Nothing truly graphic, but for some people it can still be a lot.

Hey guys. I know it can seem like this virus isn't a big deal because a lot of you are young and they say it doesn't affect young people so much, but please, please take it seriously. Even if you'll be fine, it's possible those around you might be more vulnerable, and you don't want to risk bringing it home, or spreading it to a coworker who might take it home. Because it's so new, we don't know how it might affect pregnant people or their babies, so I know I'm doing everything I can to stay home, and only going out for important medical appointments for me or Mom. My OB/GYN is taking a lot of precautions, and so is the cancer center. Because of her treatments, Mom's immune system isn't as strong as it could be, so it's especially important to keep her safe. And that's just two people. Well, two and a half if you count the baby. Each of you probably knows someone you know needs to be protected, or who is high risk, that you wouldn't want to be exposed. So please, if you can, stay home, and if you can't because you're an essential worker or you need essentials, take the precautions you can, just like we are. Love you guys. Stay safe!
Of all the ways Taylor thought 2020 might go, a global pandemic hadn't been on the list. It did make her feel better about not having been able to put together a live performance for the year, since it looked like no one would have been able to come anyway, but she definitely had to work at keeping the anxiety down. Both she and her mom were considered high risk, she because of the pregnancy and her mom because of the cancer, and that just made it all the more worrying that there was this new and potentially deadly virus spreading across the globe. But she'd seen some things from her fans that made it seem they weren't really taking the spread seriously, and although she wasn't a doctor, she came into contact with enough of them who considered it a serious threat that she felt like she needed to say something, so she tossed up a quick instagram story. She hadn't done a live stream in March, there was just too much going on. But she'd tried to at least post little updates here and there. A video of the baby kicking and the crazy way her belly moved with the little one inside her. Cat photos, because who didn't love those?
It was hard to imagine that only a few weeks before, Abigail had hosted a huge baby shower for her, with friends flying in from across the globe to celebrate her future little one. Clothes and diapers and a few things for Taylor as well had all appeared, and although most of it was needed items she hadn't quite been ready to pick up herself for fear of somehow jinxing things, with just over a month to go, it had been time. And now there were only a few short weeks left. In fact, she'd soon be considered full term, even though her due date was closer to the end of April. By the end of the next month, she'd hold her little girl in her arms instead of her belly. Wild.
"Oof," Taylor grunted, bringing her hands to her tightening belly.
"You okay, Taylor?" Andrea had come into the room just in time to see her daughter wince slightly.
"Yeah, just Braxton Hicks. If these are practice, I'm not looking forward to the real thing. Good thing I've still got a couple weeks left before then." Taylor grinned. She'd been getting Braxton Hicks contractions almost to the day since Abigail had given birth. It was like her uterus knew her best friend was in agony and decided to play up in sympathy. Abigail's little girl, Ava Brooke Lucier, had been born almost perfectly on schedule on March 6th, and Taylor had been delighted to be the first person besides the doctors and the overjoyed parents to get to hold her, but the downside was that ever since then, Taylor had been experiencing these harmless but annoying contractions. It was wild, realizing she was probably one of the last people to get to go to the hospital to greet a new baby that wasn't hers. Shortly after that, they'd shut it down to visitors because of the growing pandemic, and as much as Taylor didn't love that, she was also grateful because it meant they were doing everything they could to keep her and her baby safe when their turn came.
Andrea smiled. Even at thirty-six weeks pregnant, Taylor was her little girl, and the pregnancy looked good on her. She'd continued to carry almost totally forward, so aside from a little swelling in her bust and the belly they could no longer affectionately call a bump, she barely even looked pregnant, other than the glow. And Taylor did have a glow, much as she insisted she didn't. Aside from those first few months when morning sickness hovered just below the threshold for hyperemesis gravidarum, it had been a fairly textbook pregnancy, for which the future grandmother was grateful. Doing this alone was never easy, but a complicated pregnancy wouldn't have helped any.
"Kitty, what is WITH you? Mom, call off your dog, she won't leave me alone. You'd think I was carrying her puppies or something." The dog in question was nosing gently at the place Taylor had last felt a kick. "You're going to get socked in the nose, and it's not going to be my fault. Is it hot in here?" One side effect of pregnancy Taylor found particularly entertaining was the fact she was constantly experiencing her own personal summer. It was still pretty chilly in Nashville, but that didn't stop her from wearing workout leggings or shorts and maternity tank tops for nearly every occasion. She put on a sweater only when standing in the frozen food section at the grocery store, and even then it had taken quite some time for her to find it chilly enough to need it. It was a far cry from the years she'd spent freezing even when it was 95° outside.
Andrea chuckled, getting up to turn the heat down a couple degrees. "I'll get another sweater."
Taylor leaned back into the cushions. It was definitely nice having her mom around. The closer she got to actually giving birth, the more grateful she was to know Andrea would be there through the hard parts. She'd gone to a few birthing classes with her friend Lily who had promised to be there to help her through it all if her Mom needed a rest, given that Abigail would be busy being a new mom herself, but in the end she didn't think it would matter. They weren't letting anyone except the new mom and her partner be there for the birth, but in the absence of a partner, her OB/GYN had said her mom could come, but only her mom. She knew if things were different, Abi would come to the hospital to see her and the baby, but she couldn't fathom the idea of pulling her away from her newborn for the entire duration of labor anyway. Abigail's had been a reasonable fourteen hours, but Taylor knew it could sometimes be days. Lily, at least, had been through this twice, with her daughter Dixie and son Winston. Winston was only a year old, but at least he was old enough for his dad to take care of him for a couple days. And it was all Dixie could talk about, getting to hold Taylor's baby. They'd had a bond since Dixie was tiny, and she thought Aunt Taylor's new baby was more exciting than getting her own baby brother had been. Unfortunately, Lily was going to have to do her coaching on FaceTime, and Dixie was going to have to wait a bit before she got to hold her new bestie.
"Brought you a popsicle. It's still a couple hours until dinner, but I bet you're hungry." Andrea handed Taylor a frozen pineapple bar and a handful of napkins.
Taylor grinned, licking the treat. "Always. And the cold is nice. Thanks, Mom."
Taylor was having a hard time not having anything musical to prepare for. Even when she'd taken her break in 2016, there had been situations to deal with on a work front, and a lot of anger to work through in music. She'd written a few songs about the breakup with her boyfriend, the man who had gotten her pregnant while cheating on her with a guy who lived an ocean away, but the reality was she didn't miss him as much as she thought she would. Nor was she as angry as she expected to be. She'd been cheated on before, it wasn't novel or new, and she'd written a hundred songs on the subject the previous times it had happened. It was more of a quiet sadness that she couldn't seem to find someone who could love her, and only her. The fans would still enjoy those songs, she was sure, given the passion they felt for All Too Well.
There were other songs, too, ones she didn't know that she could ever record. She'd always expressed emotion in music, and dealing with her Mom continuing to get sicker was no exception. But this wasn't something public, like her breakup or pregnancy. This was something for her family to deal with, just them. And the truth was that in the day to day, it was easy to pretend things were fine. Since her Mom wasn't doing aggressive treatments anymore, the side-effects were minimal. The metastatic tumors they'd found in her brain that had brought them to this place didn't seem to be destroying any major functions just yet, so the slips in language and memory could be easily passed off as aging rather than cancer-related decline. At any rate, though Taylor needed the catharsis of playing and singing it out, most of those songs didn't even get voice memos. She knew that her goal was to release an album about a year after the birth, but at the moment she didn't have a plan or direction. She was just writing what she felt and hoped that somehow it would all come together in the six months after.
It was funny that her team was already booking stadiums for her baby's toddler years, not knowing yet what her name would be or what sort of album the tour would be for. They didn't even know for sure what the future of live music would look like, as large venues were closing for the foreseeable future. But she hoped that one day, she'd get to play stadiums again. And hug fans in meet and greets. She was grateful that for all the problems aspects of her reputation had caused, it also bought her the ability to book these spaces without knowing. Would it be a rock album? Maybe. The breakup songs had come to her with a harder beat and electric guitar in the production, back when she could play an electric guitar without her belly in the way. But lately, the piano had pushed her toward ballads. So maybe it would be a more acoustic sound, maybe harkening back to her roots. And while she knew the fans didn't give a fuck if an album was sonically cohesive, she knew she wanted this one to at least tell a linear story through the songs, taking them through the shifts in her relationship and becoming a mom and making a return to the job she truly loved.
And she did love it. She'd been lurking tumblr hardcore since revealing everything that was going on in her private world. She'd hesitated a long time, unsure if she wanted to know what people, even her fans, were saying about her. Did they ridicule her for losing yet another man? Did they resent her choosing the baby over a Lover tour? Even with the news about her Mom, she knew that fans as a group were not always the most patient or forgiving bunch. But Tree had coaxed her into taking a look and she was glad she had. Once the posts about her Mom had died down, anyway. Those had been hard to read, though there were times when she was sad herself and needed the comfort of knowing so many were praying for and thinking about her family. It seemed the fans were willing to be reasonable about her choice. They understood her reasoning and praised her for talking about all of the pieces and parts that went into the decision she'd had to make. They appreciated the frank discussion of birth control and sex education, and she'd seen more than a few posts from fans who had been inspired to learn more about their own bodies and how things worked after her livestreams. She was proud of that, and looked forward to spending time with the fans again, whatever form that took.
"Want to watch Netflix or something until dinner?" Andrea's words startled her out of her thoughts.
"Um, I think I'm going to spend some time in the music room, if that's cool?" Thinking about the fans had reminded her that she'd been working on a sort of Long Live 2.0 that she wanted to try to flesh out, maybe send to one of her cowriters for production help.
Taylor was startled out of her songwriting fog by a hand on her shoulder. "Mom! Geez! You could have knocked or something. Give a girl some warning." Taylor WAS surprised but she was also smiling. It reminded her a bit of when she'd been a teenager, writing in her room every free moment she got.
"I DID knock. Twice. You know how you get when you're really in the zone. But I'm getting hungry and I imagine you can eat, so I thought we'd better think about food. Also, you know, did you shower today sweetheart?"
Andrea knew the messy ponytail was partly about keeping her hair off her neck, but she also knew how much Taylor would miss chill like these in the early days of life with a newborn, and wanted her to have some good memories of days she fixed herself up before the birth, even if not going out much wasn't so much a choice as a necessity.
"I did. And stop stressing, Mom. I know I'm being a lazy slob today, but tomorrow I'm going to do full hair and makeup because Matt is coming over for a socially distant maternity shoot. If she feels up to it, he might even bring Abigail and Ava. It will be practically like being at home, but I'll get some friend time in-between set-ups." Taylor was actually really looking forward to the shoot, even if Abi was too tired as a new mom to come over. She was hoping that if they didn't come, given Ava was only a few weeks old, she could at least drive by their place after and wave at them from a distance.
"Cool, I'd forgotten that, but they're more than welcome. I'll make sure everything is clean and ready, just in case." Andrea appreciated that her daughter did have plans for more than just sitting around waiting to give birth. It was nice she could afford to take time off in the lead-up, but also put her at risk of boredom, for sure. And new moms needed support from as many places as they could get it. With everything going on, it seemed she wasn't likely to be able to get it from the outside as much as she would have hoped for her daughter. Damn that man for leaving her to do this alone! It wasn't that her daughter couldn't handle it, she could, but during a worldwide virus outbreak it would have been nice to at least have another adult at home who could help give a new mom a break. All she could do was hope the restrictions being put into place would help get things over with quickly so that friends of her daughter like Lily could come over and give her some adult time. And tomorrow, at least, she'd get to see Abigail and little Ava, which was better than nothing.

There was something really special about getting to see Matt and Abigail and Ava, and having someone who was almost like a brother taking what would definitely be the last professional photos taken of her before the birth. Taylor had expected Abi to stay across the yard with Ava, allowing only distanced waves and oohs and ahhs, but her best friend had declared as soon as she emerged from the car with the baby carrier that she considered the Swifts part of her bubble, knowing that Taylor would need a friend after her own birth. After establishing that both groups had been nowhere without masks, and had no outside contact other than very careful medical professionals, they decided to create a safe zone around the five, future six of them. Taylor hadn't realized how much she needed it until Abigail was hugging her and telling her she looked amazing in the flowing gown she'd had delivered for the shoot. Unwilling to bring hair and makeup into the bubble, she had Abigail trim her bangs for her and make sure her hair looked okay from the back.
It felt really special to get a posed photo with Abi and Ava, knowing that the next one would feature both the 'cousins' together at last. And of course the photos with her mom. Those were emotional. Three generations in one picture would always hold special meaning for Taylor, knowing how few such photos she might get to have. She hoped, always, to be wrong. To have years of such pictures, maybe one day with the love of her life and maybe a second child...all depending on how the first went, of course. But she knew enough to cherish the ones she got, and these were beautiful. Ethereal. Made her feel like a goddess of fertility instead of a beached whale. Even if they did have to pause a few times for those pesky Braxton-Hicks contractions.
"Damn, those still haven't subsided since Ava?" Abigail chuckled. "I know you don't like to half-ass anything, but practicing contractions for a month and a half seems excessive."
Taylor grimaced. "Agreed. If only my uterus would get on board. I still have a month to go before these things go live."
"So you think," Abigail laughed. "Watch you be two weeks late or something."
"If I go a day past due I'm getting induced." Taylor rolled her eyes. "I'm OVER practicing. It's a little too soon for the main event, but I'm DEFINITELY not waiting a minute longer than I have to."
"You sure? I'm not sure you're ready for all of this." Ava had chosen that moment to start screaming, having been blissfully asleep for most of the photo shoot.
Taylor heaved herself out of her seat to go get her. "Of course I'm not ready. No one is ever truly ready. But she's coming, and whatever comes with that I can handle. I just want her here." Taylor picked up the screaming newborn, half using her belly to support the tiny child. "You want to meet your cousin? She's coming soon."
Matt snapped a couple of photos of Taylor holding his little girl, and then of Abigail smiling at her now calm daughter, secure in Aunt Taylor's arms, perched above her future best friend (or so they hoped). They weren't posed any longer, but the candid shots were almost more precious.
As Ava turned toward Taylor's swollen breasts, rooting for something to eat, Abigail chuckled. "Wrong set, sweetie, come here." Turning to Taylor, "It's not as easy as it looks, getting them to latch, but she's really starting to get the hang of it. It's okay if you watch, if you want to really see how it works. It was the only way I figured it out, watching youtubes. The lactation specialist at the hospital tried, but for me, seeing it in action was the only way I could get it to work. I'm not quite ready to share with the world on video, but it's not like you've never seen my boobs before."
Taylor HAD been curious, but it wasn't like she was willing to just blatantly stare, even knowing she'd get to see up-close and personal how the whole process worked. Soon it would be a huge focus of her day, assuming it worked for her and her daughter. She knew it didn't always, and was trying to make her own peace with that, knowing that although breast feeding was awesome when it worked, it was also not a failure on her part if it didn't, no matter what some of the crazies on the internet might say. Once Ava got going, it really wasn't much to see, but it was still miraculous. How the human body could just...do that.
"Have you actually tried pumping yet? Or is it too soon?" That was something else Taylor was curious about. What it would be like. She'd gotten a pump from Lily, the same brand she'd used with her two kids, but she'd never seen it in action.
Abigail laughed. "I think you can start whenever, but no, I haven't tried it. That thing kinda scares me, if we're being honest. I've still got a good chunk of maternity leave left, so we'll tackle that when I have to be somewhere she's not. Matt kinda wants me to so he can feed her at night, but I'm just...not sure I'm ready. So since I don't HAVE to yet...I'm not. I guess I should try sooner than I need to though, because it can help you make more milk, I think? But yeah, no, not there yet."
"Fair. It kinda weirds me out, but I know it can be super helpful if the latch really doesn't work, and someday I may need it to work for work reasons. But yeah, I don't really want Mom to have to get up with her in the night anyway, so...probably going to be like you and hold off until I HAVE to figure it out."
"Hey guys, I was thinking about making a bunch of spaghetti and garlic bread for dinner, I was wondering if, Abigail, you and Matt wanted to stay?" Andrea had mostly been watching from inside, letting the kids have their fun in the yard, other than when they asked her to be in a few of the photos with Taylor. She'd been enjoying seeing how radiant her daughter looked, in her flowing gown and with flowers in her hair. She looked to her mother like some kind of fertility goddess. No, none of this had happened in the storybook way she would have pictured for her daughter, but what she'd gotten was still absolutely beautiful.
"Thanks, Mama Swift, we'd love to."
Later, when Matt, Abigail and Ava had been safely off home, filled to the brim with homemade spaghetti and brownie sundaes for dessert, Taylor finally let herself collapse onto the couch. "Man, I'm pooped. Remember when I used to be able to do that into the night? Now it's eight o'clock and I think I might go to bed."
Andrea grinned, sinking onto the couch beside her. "You did a lot today. It was nice, having them over. I know we're mostly supposed to stay home, but you're going to need them, once this little girl gets here. And Abigail needs you. She's doing such a good job with Ava, but you always need helpers."
"She really is. I hope I'm as good with my daughter as she is with hers. I know that even as close as we are, she's probably making it look easier than it feels, but it gives me hope I can really do this. And I'd better be able to, since she's coming sooner than later. Oof." Taylor grimaced as another Braxton-Hicks contraction struck. "Damn, this one seems stronger than normal. I think I'm going to go shower off this makeup and hair product and then try for sleep. It's early, but I'm exhausted. I'm supposed to listen to my body, right?"
"Not a bad idea, darling, I'm going to finish up in the kitchen and then I just might join you. Goodnight, Taylor, love you."
"Night, Mom, love you too."
"FUCK. This is NOT Braxton-Hicks. FUUUUUUUCK." Taylor had wondered just how much real contractions would intensify from the practice ones she'd been having for what seemed like forever, and it turned out...a lot. Like, there was no comparison. Which was a problem for many reasons, most notably, it was only March 30th, and she wasn't due for another 21 days. Which...wasn't SO early, she was technically just this side of full term, but it was still early. It was also three in the morning. She looked up to see three pairs of eyes lit through the near darkness, staring at her. "I'm okay guys, I...FUCK...I'm just about to bring your human sibling into the world and it turns out it's actually more uncomfortable that you can imagine which is...awesome." Taylor had read a lot of the "what to expect" type books and most of them had said real contractions would be more intense than Braxton-Hicks, but they'd also said they wouldn't be this intense this early. They weren't super close together yet, about eleven minutes had passed between the one that had woken her up and the next one, so they were supposed to be just a step up. Were hers just stronger because she'd been "practicing" for so long, or did it mean something weird was happening? Her water hadn't broken yet, so that was good, but she definitely felt a little sticky, so she imagined that if she cared to look (she didn't) she might have passed the mucus plug (ew).
Her biggest dilemma was if she should wake up her mom or not. It was early enough she didn't want to go to the hospital yet. She would probably still be in this early bit of labor for hours, and there was no reason to go early. Her OB had said that over and over. To wait as long as she could so she could have light meals and chill without beeping monitors and medical staff stepping in every few minutes to check on her. But she also sort of didn't want to be alone right now, if she couldn't sleep, and the cats didn't really count. She finally decided to text Lily. After all, her friend had said she would be happy to help coach her through labor by facetime if needed, no matter the time. And while she wasn't quite ready to wake her friend by calling, if she happened to catch the text...
"It's always three in the morning, isn't it?" Lily looked bleary eyed and messy on the screen, but Taylor was grateful she'd called.
"You'd know better than I do, you've done this before. I'm sorry I woke you, I just...I didn't want to wake Mom when it's so early...both in the morning and in labor, but I...I didn't want to do this alone. Is it weird this is the first time I've really wished he was here?" Taylor couldn't believe she was going to cry about him again after all these months, but here she was, tears welling up, missing the man who put her in this position, the bastard. Months of not really missing him, being resolute about his departure from their lives, and now...NOW she wanted him?
"Nah, Taylor, it's not weird. We're programmed to want to do this with a partner. And for years, he was yours. Plus you're just emotional because hormones. Later you'll scream curses on his name and his entire family, and that's okay too. If you need to cry, cry. I'm here. I'll even go over there, if you want me, but I'll admit I've been to the grocery store. Masked, of course, but I've been out in the world and I know you guys have been staying locked down." Lily sort of wished she'd observed the strict quarantine Taylor was, just so she could be there, after all, in person, at least for this part.
"Thanks, Lily, I appreciate it. I guess I just haven't felt as alone as I am until right now, when I should have someone to hold my hand, and I don't. But being there, even like this, really helps. OW. Apparently my back has decided to get in on the labor situation. I know that's normal, I've even had back cramps before with my period, but...yikes."
"Yeah, you're about to discover all kinds of weird things about your body. But seriously, we've been on the phone for a while and that was the first contraction, yeah?"
Taylor thought for a moment. "Yeah. So still over ten minutes apart. I've got lots of progress to make. But right now, I've got to pee, and I'm not bringing you with me, so can you hang on just a bit while I go do that?"
Taylor changed from her pjs into a clean pair of undies and some leggings while in the bathroom. If she DID decide it was time to leave, she wanted to be dressed. Watch some fan get a pic of her in her brother's old sleep shorts making her way through the hospital lobby in active labor. No thanks.
"Feel better?" Lily asked when Taylor returned to the call.
"Yeah, I do. I doubt I'm really going to sleep, but just talking to you helped, so I feel like I should try? Or at least watch soothing youtube videos and rest. Probably it's not going to be time to go anywhere for a bit. Which makes me feel worse about waking you up, but I just..."

"Taylor. I ASKED you to call me if you needed me, even at 3am. And you did. So thank you, for knowing that I love you enough to do this with you, whenever. Call again in ten minutes if you start to get anxious or whatever, I don't mind. But if you CAN rest, I agree you should. Especially when they're still so far apart. But keep me posted, okay? At least let me know when you're going to the hospital. I can't come with you for real, but I'll be there in spirit. Love you Taylor, you've got this."
"Thanks, Lily, love you too. Seriously, thanks for being there. I really appreciate it."
Taylor didn't remember falling asleep, but the next thing she knew it was six and she was being screamed at by a cat. "What the fuck Meredith? I...oh. OH." Taylor realized she was soggy. Very soggy. Gross. She'd either peed the bed, or her water had broken. Either way, these leggings were going to have to be changed, and so was the bedding. Standing up, there was no further gushing of fluid, so she was pretty sure it was just pee. Occasionally, her little girl would contact her bladder in just such a way that there was nothing she could do about it, especially asleep. "Thanks, little one. Well, they said to keep doing my usual activities in this early bit of...fuck...labor, so I guess 6am laundry sort of counts." Taylor sighed and pulled on the second clean outfit of the morning before gathering up the wet laundry to toss into the washer.
She was surprised, checking her phone once the machine was filling with water, to see that Abigail had texted her. "Good morning Mama! Hoping you did manage to fall back asleep after you talked to Lily. I hope you don't mind she texted me to let me know you were starting to have real contractions. We've stayed isolated, so if you want Matt to bring me and Ava over for the morning until things speed up, let me know. You've got this, Tay. Love you" Taylor smiled. She really did have good friends. She just hoped Lily hadn't woken Abigail up with her middle of the night text, and texted her as much, immediate reassurance that Abigail had been up feeding Ava anyway when she'd seen it and sent her own which clearly hadn't woken Taylor. Even after three more hours, it didn't seem much had changed, the contractions were still far apart, though she supposed nine minutes was still technically still a change from eleven, and seemed to have maintained their intensity rather than ramping up, for which Taylor was grateful. Unsure if she was following doctor's orders or being stubborn, Taylor invited the Luciers over for breakfast. She figured baking some muffins and a frittata would be a good distraction, but since everything cooked in the oven, it wouldn't be a big deal to pause every few minutes for a contraction to pass, safer than using the stove. They agreed on eight, giving Taylor time to both take a shower and start the food before they would arrive.
"Mmmmm...nesting?" Andrea found her daughter fully dressed in a maternity dress with leggings under, pulling cinnamon rolls out of the oven, a frittata following closely behind. It had been weeks since her daughter had done that much to her hair, and was she wearing eyeliner?
"I've been in labor since three, but it's, like, super slow moving. I figured moving around might help get it going, and even though I'm going to be a sweaty mess by the time she gets here, I wanted to at least sort of dress up for my daughter's big debut." Taylor kissed her mom on the cheek.
"Wait!? You're in labor!?" Andrea finally registered what Taylor had said. "And you didn't tell me?"
"Mom. The contractions are still irregular and eight minutes apart. It's fine. You needed the sleep. Anyway, the Luciers are coming for breakfast to distract me until things start moving more." Taylor was sure she'd want the distraction. It had been good so far, getting things together to eat. She'd already checked the hospital bag twice, making sure it had her favorite cotton masks, a recent addition since many hospitals were requiring face coverings not only upon entry to the building but all through delivery. The paper ones actually made her feel super anxious, almost on the verge of a panic attack, but she didn't mind the cotton ones at all, so she hoped that if she had to labor in a mask, they would at least let it be one of those. It also had all the usual things - newborn diapers and post-partum underwear and a comfy outfit to come home in, plus a couple extras just in case. Outfits for her daughter, baby blankets, and the nursing pillow Lily had gotten her at her shower. She figured she might as well start off using it right from the start. She texted Lily with her progress, while she was thinking of it.
Abigail laughed when she saw Taylor all dressed up in the kitchen. "You sure look fancier than I did!"
Which was, Taylor recalled, true. Abigail had missed most of the early contractions, so by the time they woke her up at around four in the morning, they were already regular and within five minutes of each other, so she'd headed to the hospital in pajamas, figuring the hospital had seen worse.
"Getting dressed up made me feel like I was doing something productive to help her get here instead of just...waiting." Taylor bent over, just a bit, as another contraction struck.
"Oh, lord, I remember that. How close together are they?"
"Eight minutes. Maybe seven. Little more intense this time. We should probably eat, while these things seem to be progressing."
But from there, they seemed to stall for hours. They'd eaten lunch and even taken a nap before her contractions began to get closer together again. They hadn't slowed or anything, or lessened in intensity. They just also hadn't moved forward. But finally, around dinner, she hit the five minute mark.
"Okay, so, I think I'd better eat something real quick, because we're finally moving, but once I get there, that's it for food, so, Mom, do we have stuff for sandwiches?" When Taylor had said 'eat,' Andrea had already moved toward the fridge.
"There's turkey or salami and cheddar...and I think there might be some swiss under here as well. Abigail, Matt, you two want sandwiches too?"
Abigail looked up from where she was nursing Ava. "Thanks, Mama Swift, but as soon as she finishes up, I think we'll head out. There's leftovers at home and now that y'all are getting ready to head to the hospital, I don't want us to hold y'all up in case things get going faster."
"You've completely got this Taylor and I'm so incredibly proud of you. I can't wait for you to call me and introduce us to your little one."
Turkey sandwiches were eaten, plates piled in the sink to be cleaned later, when Taylor's little one had finally made her debut. They would keep, but the contractions, although still five minutes apart, were now at the stage where Taylor could only moan curses or try to breathe through them. She was no longer having a conversation, and that meant it was definitely time to get on the road. She'd already called her OB's office, and they'd assured her the doctor would be ready to meet her at the hospital.
"Ready to go, Miss Swift?" Security had pulled the car around and loaded the hospital bag in, double checking that the docking station for the baby carrier was properly installed to ferry their newest charge safely home.
"I think I'd better be. She's definitely coming and I'd rather not do this here in the kitchen, so...let's go." Taylor cast her eyes around the kitchen one last time, making sure she had her phone and a charger.
They had only been in the car a few minutes when Taylor felt a rush of fluid. "Oh shit. Mom...I think my water just broke. All over the car seat."
"It's okay darling, you're fine, it happens. You won't be the first woman to arrive at the hospital wet and you certainly won't be the last. We'll get some towels and mop up the leather later. It's fine." Andrea tried to speak soothingly to her daughter, but she knew the hormones would probably follow one flood with another, as Taylor started to cry.
"I'm just so sorry, this is so gross and I'm ruining the car seats..." Taylor grabbed a kleenex from the pack Andrea held out to her.
"Taylor, honey, there is LITERALLY nothing you could have done about it. It was going to happen sometime. At least this way you don't have to have a nurse reach up there and do it for you. The seats will be fine but if they're not you can buy a whole new car, okay. You're fine. This is a beautiful and natural thing. You're doing great."
By the time Taylor had waited out another contraction, moaning how she hoped they got to the hospital soon, and then mopped up her face and blown her nose a few times, they'd arrived at the designated maternity entrance at the hospital. She and her mom were both swabbed up the nose with the giant q-tips, made especially fun by the fact she was still a bit swollen from crying, and then asked to mask up for the trip through the corridors. Security had been stopped at the entrance...unless she wanted to trade her mom for one of them as birthing coach, they were going to have to wait outside.
That brought a whole new flood of tears. She'd been counting on having them just outside while she was at her most vulnerable, and then to protect herself and her newborn. She knew, objectively, that with the hospital locked down, it would be near impossible for anyone to get inside who didn't belong, and that further, even people who might know her due date and have somehow guessed where she was planning to give birth certainly wouldn't know she was delivering three weeks early, but that did little to calm nerves already a little frazzled knowing that there was still a lot more labor to come and that it wasn't exactly going to improve from here.
Still, the staff in the maternity ward was exceptionally kind, the orderly wheeling her to the correct floor asking questions about the baby, congratulating Mom and Grandma on the impending new arrival, and thankfully leaving alone questions about the father. Apparently at this point, with only one person allowed in, they were assuming that if the partner didn't come, it was best not to ask, for which Taylor was eternally grateful. It didn't take long to get into the room where Taylor was actually relieved to put on a hospital gown - at least it wasn't wet. She told her mom to just throw away the dress and leggings she'd been wearing. She had other clothes in her suitcase for when she put on regular clothes again, and being currently single, she was unlikely to need maternity clothes again for a while, at which point they might not fit or be hopelessly out of style.
"Ow. FUCK. Ooooo..." was not exactly how Taylor had hoped to greet her OB, but at least she knew that almost anything coming out of the mouth of a pregnant woman in the middle of her most intense contraction yet would be forgiven. She panted her way through the rest of the nearly minute long contraction before looking up. "Hey Doc."
"Hey Taylor, looks like you're well on your way. Let's get you up on the bed and we'll check the progress inside, okay?"
Taylor obligingly lay down on the bed with her feet up so the doctor could feel with gloved fingers just how much space she'd already made for her little one to go through.
"Six centimeters. And you say your water broke in the car on the way in? You arrived right at the perfect time. Are you still planning to get an epidural? If you get much further along, the contractions may get too intense or too close together for it to be safe to place, so I recommend that if you want one, you go for it pretty soon."
As another very intense contraction hit, Taylor gritted her teeth and swore as her Mom coached her through breathing. "Yes, yes, I want the drugs please."
"Okay, sounds good, I'll get an anesthesiologist on the way. You're doing great Taylor, I'm proud of you for waiting...most new moms are here for hours before they get this far. I predict you'll welcome your little one before too long. Hang tight, okay?"
Taylor gave a wry smile "Where exactly would I go?"
After that it seemed like things moved fairly quickly for a while, with nurses coming to hook her up to fetal monitors, start an IV and get her ready for the epidural, all the while, contractions coming about five minutes apart and strong enough to take her breath away. It was a relief when a man in a scrub suit finally let himself into the room and introduced himself as the anesthesiologist. He did request Taylor and Andrea use actual surgical masks for the epidural placement over the cotton ones they'd been permitted thus far, but it otherwise went as she'd expected, lying on her side and curling into as tight a ball as she could with a contracting belly in the way. They did have to wait out one unfortunately timed contraction, during which she cursed not only generally, but also the man who'd put her in this position. Sure, she'd chosen to take it this far, but when else could she do that and get away with it? But soon, the epidural was in, and the pain began to recede.
She'd chosen a so-called 'walking epidural,' which meant she wasn't COMPLETELY numb from the waist down, but she was still experiencing significant relief. She'd always had anxiety about the full epidural. Even though she knew complications were exceedingly rare, she also knew herself well enough that she was pretty sure even medically monitored paralysis from the waist down would activate some sort of anxiety attack, so she'd chosen something that would relieve pain without being so complete. The name, however, was a misnomer...she still wasn't going to be going anywhere any time soon, but at least she could still move her legs to change positions and try new things, especially since although it was less painful, the sensations of labor weren't completely gone, which was actually what she had wanted. She still wanted to know what her body was doing, she just wanted it to be less intense.
From there, for a while, it was just a regular pattern of breathing (and swearing, a lot) through contractions, going through pitchers of ice chips, and waiting. She'd expected labor to feel more rushed and urgent. It wasn't much like the movies, where birth was always an emergency, or even like the birthing shows on TV where only the interesting bits were shown, and none of the boring parts made for good television. She continued to dilate, albeit slowly. That was the one bit that wasn't quite going like the books had said it would. She'd arrived at the hospital at around 6, and all the books said once she was in the second stage of labor, it would only take about two or three hours before she'd feel the urge to push. But it was nearing midnight and she was still stuck at eight centimeters, only a centimeter different from how she'd arrived.
"Looks like we may want to add some pitocin to get this to move along just a little bit more, Taylor, what do you think?" The OB had come in to check on her progress once again, and she still wasn't quite where they'd hoped. Ideally, she should have given birth by now, and it wasn't clear why she'd stalled.
Taylor took quick stock of herself, sweaty and tired from hours of labor. "You're the expert, but sounds good to me. At the rate we're going we might make it to the projected birth month of April."
"Great, we'll give that a shot and see how you do. How are you holding up?"
"I'm tired, I'm sweaty, I'm pretty sure your lovely medical staff has had to clean up things I'd rather not think about. I'm ready to hold my daughter in my arms, but I know letting her take her time is usually the way to go." Taylor just hoped that her body's reluctance to cooperate wouldn't cause problems for her daughter. So far, though, the reports from the fetal monitor seemed to fit what the doctor wanted, so there was no sense in rushing it. The epidural had been a blessing, even though she'd chosen one that let her feel a little discomfort with each contraction.
About an hour after the pitocin was administered, Taylor was finally progressing again, now slightly past nine centimeters dilated and approaching the golden ten that would allow her to push. The nurse checking smiled, letting her know it wouldn't be long now. But before she could even leave the room, the fetal monitor began to beep, drawing back the nurse but also summoning the OB.
"Shit."
Of all the words to come out of your doctor's mouth, that might be the worst one. Suddenly every ounce of anxiety Taylor had ever possessed came surging back. "What? What's wrong. Is she okay?"
The doctor took a deep breath. "She's going to be just fine, but I need to get her out. Now. We're going to have to take you for an emergency c-section, because when I went to check you just now, instead of the top of her head, I felt her umbilical cord. Having that come out first is dangerous for her, and could cut off her oxygen. I'm going to gown up, and the nurses will get you into the OR. She's going to be fine, Taylor, but the sooner the better."
The doctor was gone, and Taylor knew that was for the best, because speed mattered here, but that wasn't entirely reassuring. "Mom, I'm scared." Taylor was crying, but she realized she was also already a mom. She wasn't worried about herself, but about her baby. If they had to cut her open, so be it, she just wanted to know her daughter was okay.
"Alright mama, here we go. Grandma can follow right behind, she's just going to have to get a little change of outfit and then she can hold your hand the whole time, okay? We're just going to get you ready so the doctor can get that little one into the world." Taylor sent a thought of gratitude to the heavens that at least the nurse wheeling her from her regular room to the operating room was her favorite, the one who had been the most soothing throughout labor. It was nearly one in the morning, and she was ready, even if this wasn't how she planned this part.
It took only a few minutes to get her draped and ready for the surgery, and for the anesthesiologist to dump some extra meds into her epidural to make sure she wouldn't feel any of the pain of the c-section. There wasn't time to numb her further up, like they would have otherwise, but at least having the epidural in place meant they didn't have to give her general anesthesia. Her doctor was already bustling around behind the drape, explaining as he swabbed her with antiseptic in preparation for the surgery when Andrea reappeared, now covered in a surgical gown herself. "I'm here, honey, you're okay."
"I'll feel better when she's here and I know she's okay." Taylor was definitely anxious, even though the nurses kept trying to reassure her, if for no other reason than to bring down her pulse rate for her own safety and the baby's.
"The monitors look okay, Taylor. It's not great, but it's okay, or they would have already pulled her out. Honestly, it's probably almost time to meet her." Andrea was tempted to look back on the other side of the drape to see just how it was progressing, but also had a feeling the inside of her daughter's abdomen was something she just didn't want to see.
"Oooh...that feels wild. It's like they're unzipping me." Taylor knew she was going to sort of feel things but just not care about it, having read about c-sections just in case, but nothing could have exactly prepared her for the weirdness of feeling them cut her open and it not hurting at all. She felt some pulling and tugging, and then, suddenly, it stopped. "Oof...is she...is she out?"
"She's out, Taylor, just give us a couple seconds and we'll get her to you." Her OB was still working on removing the placenta while a neonatal doctor tended to her daughter.
"Is she okay? She's not crying?" Taylor was about to cry again, when she finally heard it. A nice, healthy wail.
"She's doing great, Taylor. She just needed her nose and mouth cleaned out, there was some extra mucus that usually comes off while you're pushing. Ready to see her?" The neonatal nurse came over, carrying the newly cleaned little girl over. "Here you go, sweetheart, this lovely lady is your mama."
Taylor had never seen anything more beautiful than the healthy, pink, perfect newborn placed on her chest. "Hi, little one. I'm your mom." For what felt like the hundredth time that day, she started to cry. "And this is your grandmother. We love you more than we can ever tell you."
"Okay, Mom, we've got to borrow her for a little bit for some tests, but once we've got you stitched back up, we'll reunite you and you can try feeding her, sound good?" The nurse was gentle but firm, and Taylor knew that was part of the deal. Even if she'd delivered vaginally as planned, they still would have taken her for the testing while she delivered the afterbirth. But it didn't mean she was entirely okay with having to let her go.
"She'll be back before you know it. And wouldn't you like to feed her for the first time when your uterus ISN'T exposed to the world?" Andrea remembered how hard it was to let go of your hard-won newborn. She'd felt the same when they took Taylor from her, and Austin.
"I guess so. Since I can't really feel it, it doesn't bother me as much as you'd think? I just want her back." Taylor did, actually want them to go ahead and finish closing her back up, but if she could have held her daughter while they did it, that would have been great.
Still, less than a half hour later, she was in her postpartum room, finally allowed to take off her mask for a bit and clean off a layer or two of sweat, even try to comb her sweaty bangs and hair a little. And then there she was. Her perfect little girl, all clean and wrapped in a tiny pink baby burrito and wearing a little striped hat. The nurse who brought her was kind enough to take a photo of all three Swifts, Andrea and Taylor grinning, the newest Swift adorably asleep in her mother's arms, and then Andrea took about a hundred photos of her child and grandchild. Sure, it was nearly twenty-four hours since Taylor had been woken up by the contractions, but she knew she wasn't going to sleep just yet. Her little girl was here.
And as if on cue, a lactation specialist poked her head in to see if Taylor wanted to try feeding her before mom and baby finally went to bed for the night. Abigail had been right, it was more challenging than she expected. Somehow she'd always thought babies just had an instinct for it. But when she finally latched on, it made Taylor feel like she had really accomplished something. She was feeding her daughter. Her daughter. Andrea took a couple photos of that, too, making sure nothing Taylor wouldn't want people to see was showing. She knew her little girl would want as many memories as she could get of the day she met her own little girl.
"So, Taylor, does she have a name? We can't call her 'little one' forever."
"Mom, I want you to meet Finlay Rose Swift."
Now it was Andrea's turn to tear up. "Finlay...as in?"
"I wanted to name her after you, kind of. Do you like it?"
"It's beautiful, sweetheart. And I'm sure your father will love it too, when we call him and Austin in the morning...well, later this morning. But you have to be exhausted, sweetie, and she'll wake you up soon enough. Now that she's fed, and so are you, I think it's time for bed." Andrea took her granddaughter from her daughter and placed her back in the bassinet next to the bed. They'd also brought in a bed for her, since they didn't want people leaving the hospital and coming back once they'd tested negative for the new virus, so all three of them were going to share the space.
"I know. I just...can't stop looking at her. I can't believe she's really here. And healthy. Being so early I didn't know. They say a lot of c-section babies this early have breathing problems but she seems fine. A little small, but fine. She's just so precious."
"She is. But see how cute she is when she refuses to let you sleep. Sleep now, while you can. Goodnight Taylor, I'm so proud of you." Andrea walked over to dim the lights. They wouldn't go completely off in their room, as the hospital staff would still check in on mom and baby throughout the night, but they could lower them a lot.
"Goodnight, Mom. Love you too. Goodnight, Finlay. Welcome to the world."

Overnight, Finlay's oxygen level had dropped a little. Not catastrophically, but enough they wanted her and Taylor to stay an extra day in the hospital, just to monitor. It wasn't uncommon in babies born as early as she was, thirty-seven weeks in a cesarean baby often meant a little extra fluid in the lungs, but they still wanted to make sure she stayed steady before sending them home. Taylor was honestly grateful. It gave her a chance to start introducing family and friends to baby Finlay. In all the excitement, she'd realized at about two that her father and brother didn't even know she'd gone to the hospital. She'd called during the day, when the contractions were further apart and she was just killing time until she could go to the hospital. But she hadn't further updated them. She'd sent texts when she remembered, just so that they would know that she and baby were fine, and that they would get formal introductions in the morning. Thankfully, she'd woken up to responses that they understood but were very excited to meet the newest member of the family.
"Hi Dad! Hi Austin!"
"Hi, honey, you look great." Scott really did think that Taylor looked good for her first morning as a new mom. He remembered being on the other side of it, but he knew he could never understand just how much effort truly went into creating new life. But she seemed less tired than he'd expected after nearly twenty-four hours of labor, though he supposed the c-section meant it had been a different kind of tiring.
"Hey Teffy! You're a mom now, huh? Do we get to meet her?"
"Of course! Dad, Austin, I'd like you to meet Finlay Rose Swift. Finlay, this is your Papa Scott and Uncle Austin. We're having a pandemic right now, but you'll get to see them in person soon." Taylor grinned at the looks on their faces. Her Dad was actually tearing up, and Austin looked completely entranced.
"Finlay, like your Mom?"
Taylor nodded. "And Rose like yours, Dad. What do you think?"
"I think my niece is the most precious thing I've ever seen. Hi, Finlay! I'm your Uncle Austin. If you ever need anything, give me a call."
"I love it, Taylor. The name is perfect. And so is your little girl. Honey I'm so proud of you. I've always been proud of my girl. But this is really special, and I'm so happy for you. I just wish we could be there to meet her in person."
Taylor nodded. "Me too. I wish you both were here to hold her. I'm just so relieved they let Mom come in with me. I've been looking online and some places are making new moms do this by themselves. I genuinely don't know what I would have done without her. Finlay's umbilical cord started coming out before her which is dangerous so that's why I ended up having a c-section but I was so anxious and Mom was the only one who could help me calm down."
"Damn, Teffy, I can see why that scared you, but look at her. You made a whole human! Which was probably exhausting, so we should probably let you go, but Teff, I love you so much. Finlay, you too. You're a lucky little girl, your Mom is amazing."
"Your brother is right, honey. I love you, and Finlay too."
"Love you guys, I'll call you soon."
She'd also called Lily, making sure Dixie was around to meet her new best friend, even if she couldn't hold her just yet. And of course, she'd called Abigail and Matt, not only to introduce them, but also to let them know they were staying in the hospital an extra day, although thankfully other than the one small drop, Finlay seemed to be holding on just fine. There had been a few other friends Taylor wanted to tell more personally, but as the afternoon wore on, she realized she was ready to tell one other group. Her fans.
She first selected a photo her Mom had taken of her looking down at Finlay right after she was born, with the drape still blocking off her lower half, and Finlay not even wrapped in a blanket yet. The look on her face perfectly captured how completely in love she was with her daughter from the moment they met. Then she picked one of the more posed photos, when her hair was combed and Finlay was in her swaddle and hat, with her Mom, one of the ones the nurse had taken. And finally, she chose one of the photos her Mom had taken of that first feeding at three in the morning. She'd never imagined she'd post a photo of herself breastfeeding on the internet, but it felt right. It felt like it encompassed, maybe better than the other two, her own journey to motherhood over the last thirty-seven weeks.
"Meet Finlay Rose Swift, born at 1:13am 3/31/20, 6lbs 7oz, 18in long. I ended up having an emergency c-section, but I'm recovering just fine, and more importantly, Finlay is doing amazing. I want to thank all of the amazing doctors and nurses here that did an incredible job making sure that both of us are healthy and doing well. I never imagined giving birth during a pandemic, but I appreciate so much all the steps that were taken to make sure that both of us, and Mom, who got to be here to hold my hand and keep me sane, were safe. Thank you so much for all your love and support, and for respecting our privacy while we adjust to being a new family. Love you guys"

Author's Note: Thanks again for reading and sticking with it. There will be at least one follow up chapter so you can meet Finlay a little more and see Taylor truly starting her life as a new mom. Stay safe, readers.