*trigger warning*
I would be niave to say that I deal with emotions very well. In desperate attempts to fill the emptiness, I try to use drinking to cope. It felt like my dad loved drinking more than me, so I was hopeful i could discover how this potion could be so much better than a family.
my found memories of drinking are feeling happy, laughing with friends, feeling giggly, like I can finally, truthfully, be happy.
but when my friends leave, I continue to drink, long after any sense of judgement is left... soon, there is no happiness, i feel lonely now that there is nobody here to laugh with. so I pour another drink. desperate to get that happiness back, even though it is temporary. but the more I drink the more angry, and combative I get. Anxious thoughts. There is no hope of it slowing down at all. I know I will pass out soon either from the drinks or the anxiety.
The next day I know I will wake up and do it again the next day, begging to wake up with the happiness, without the drinking.
but it never comes.
YOU ARE READING
broken girl
Poésiethese are my thoughts just based off of what I've been thru. *trigger warning* even if it's bad, it is just a way to release emotions, please be nice
