𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚕𝚎𝚢 𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚝𝚜

Mr. Loverman

<inspired by mr. loverman by ricky montgomery>

TW: Alcohol Abuse, Depressive Thoughts, OD

Peter's laugh rang out throughout the walls of their house as Harley chased him. Harley finally got to him and tackled him onto the couch. Peter giggled, Harley on top of him. Harley pressed a soft kiss on his lips.

"I will love you forever, darlin..."

§

It was a sunny day at the park. Peter and Harley were eating ice cream when it happened. It went by like a blur. One moment, Peter was teasing Harley, the next moment he was spread out on the road, joints bent at unholy angles and blood pouring out at an unnatural rate. A mom was hugging the child that he pushed tight as Harley just stared.

Numb.

§

Harley was never the same.

The incident ran through his head at every breathing moment, haunting him, engulfing him. Every emotion filled his brain. But it's too much. It won't stop, why won't it stop?

The day he finally broke down was the one month anniversary of Peter's death.

Peter...

He never hurt a soul, he died saving someone else. Maybe Harley could have saved him, but he knows it's pointless. Pointless to wonder what could've been. It can't bring his soulmate back.

He didn't leave their house that day. He stayed curled up, sobbing. His heart felt like it was being wrenched out of his chest, shredded into pieces.

"Why did you leave me, darlin?" he choked out, between sobs.

Harley could faintly hear them knocking at the door. His found family, who he hasn't seen since the day. But he couldn't bring himself to go open the door, to face their disappointment.

How could he, when he should be the one that's dead.

§

That night, he finally staggered out of bed to the kitchen. He clumsily rummaged through everything, before finding his relief. He grabbed a bottle of whiskey, bringing it to his lips. The feeling spread through his body. For the first time in a month, he felt free. He could feel it.

The emptiness.

He knew it was a bad idea, using it to escape. But it would only be once. Just once, to let him get away from the thoughts.

He stumbled over to the couch and sat facing the wall, his leg shaking. It wouldn't be long before he finally broke. Before he slowly started to crack and eventually shatter, no one there to help him pick up the pieces.

Closing his eyes, he breathed in his surroundings. He couldn't smell him anymore. Any trace of Peter was replaced with the overwhelming smell of alcohol on his breath. It wasn't till he took a slow hand to his cheek that he realized tears were streaming down.

And he broke. The dam of emotion came back, stronger than ever, but none as strong as the anger. No, because the anger consumed him, taking any rational part that the alcohol hasn't already claimed.

Taking the empty bottle he was holding, he threw it to the wall, letting out a scream. And he didn't stop. He screamed till his voice was raw. Till he was reduced to a pile of tears. He looked down at his arm and shards of glass stuck in there, stained with blood. His blood of course, but that's not what he saw.

He saw Peter, laying there. Defenseless, with the blood. The blood, such a horrifying sight. What are you supposed to feel when you see the man you loved, reduced to an empty, mutilated corpse?

Slowly getting up, Harley went back to the kitchen to retrieve another bottle. Looking at it, he knew his next destination. As he wobbled up the stairs, he desperately racked his brain for any other solution. But the memories, the feelings...he couldn't take it anymore. He got to the bathroom and pulled out his anti-depressants.

"Okay, so make sure you take these each day. Got it?"

"Got it, doc."

"Listen, I know it's hard. And it won't stop being hard. But you can get through it, that's what Peter would want. So promise me you'll try."

"I promise."

He looked at the container, reminding himself of his broken promise. He just can't get through this world without his light to guide him.

Harley emptied out the bottle, slowly taking each pill and washing it down with whiskey. Soon, he could feel himself slipping away.

i'm headed straight for the floor.

Laying on the bathroom floor, Harley smiled.

"I'm coming, darlin, I'm coming."

As he took his last breath, he heard the sound of his door being kicked down. He could hear the heart-wrenching sobs of Natasha at the sight of Harley, he could hear Tony, pleading for him to stay awake.

But he couldn't.

and i miss my lover, man.

Requests?

Stay safe <3