Lahat naman ng bagay nag babago. Sometimes masaya, sometimes malungkot, sometimes galit and sometimes ok lang. Sakto lang.
But today. This shit hit me sooooo hard! I wanna shout and cry! I wanna hurt my self but hey! Noooooo! It's a big no ☝️ no ☝️... Yeah. Im just sad.
Actually last night, my boyfriend and I had a typical fight, just like the other couples. We're 3 year, 3 yrs and 8 months this Oct 24. We're happy. But sometimes I feel like there's something wrong. Sometimes I feel like there's something missing. And I don't know what and why I feel this sh*t. Maybe I'm not contented on what we have, and sometimes I expect that he'll do some extra efforts in our relationship since he always promise things. I mean, I'm a type of person who's fan of having surprises *yey! Ow em ge! I didn't expect this* *booom boom shuw shuuuw SURPRISEEEEEE! * *can you go outside, I'm here (while holding a cup of milktean "taro is my fav flavor") * or *hey! I'll wait for you outside your office, I texted tito and tita that I'll fetch you there. Since we didn't had a date these past days, We can do drive thru *... Ow heeeez! Just an expectation! Heha and opkurs! A big imagination....
My birthday came, no one ever thought for surprising me. Which is I always dream of ❤️
Maybe I don't deserve those things. Im nothing kase, I'm just me. Shy type, sitting beside making face when everyone can't see how I mimic them HAHAHAHA.
Anyways. Let's go back to my drama. My boyfriend changed his profile pict and it's like 💔*boom*. Almost 2 years niya din profile ang picture namin together, then biglang change. So it means, hahaha ok. Masakit kahit ganun lang. Feel me? Or not? Ow kay.. Haha
Maybe this is the right time to change everything. I react to his profile ❤️ than I deactivate my facebook account. I didn't include my messenger since my boss used messenger to update us... If walang ganun. I could deactivate all of my acc. So that I don't see things that might hurt my feelings. I wanna free from this pain. I just want to feel fine. Happy. Grateful and free...
I'm beginning to figure it out... I'm beginning to cut ties.
Beginning to dream again, and build my dreams AGAIN. I think this things doesn't deserve my tears... But I can't stop my tears... Sh*t haha. But maybe I'll be alright if I'm done.
Here's what I will do hehe: (making plans ya know)
📍Plan A
*stay with together and build your dream together
*have business (and make it big) *lol as if it was easy like blowing candle *
*help my family, gave them what they want and needs
*help people
*have my own family with him
📍Plan B
*learn more
*learn how to have work in other country
*be mature enough, live my life their
*enjoy everything there
*love my life
*have a work (a good work, that I can be happy)
*enjoy foods
*make my family proud of chasing my dreams
*if the right man came (well, i don't know if there will be)
*build together (but diff now unlike sa old relationship I had)
*be happy and have fun in everything
Well. Hopefully I can do everything easily haha I trust you Lord God ❤️I love youuuuu!🙏🏻
🌻 𝓜𝓪𝓮𝓒𝓮
