Still missin' something...
Another day past. But it seems like nothing good happened. It sad lang that I'm still in search of something I don't know. Haha pano mga mahahanap ang bagay na hindi naman alam kung ano???
I don't know what to feel right now.
Anyway haha. My boyfriend send me a very long sweet message last night.
"I just want to tell you how grateful I am 😘😘😘 I've been having deep thoughts kanina, I just can't imagine life without you. Yung pagmamahal mo, stuck on me ❤️ Everytime I get mad, I get mad at myself. I've shared bad days of my life with you. And yet, you're still there 💕💪 You are truly my strength and happiness 😍 You are something, wife material in all sense 😘 I know my life is not perfect, neither my personality. Ang dami kong pagkukulang, but you always let me make it up to all my mistakes 💕💞 The best feeling beyond that is you MADE me a better person. My life will not be like this if I don't have you 😭 I mean it my love. Aminado ako and I'm sorry for being stubborn all the time 💓You are a blessing talaga from the Lord 🙏 Eversince kanina, nakita ulit kita sa personal. Napuno ulit ako ng reason bakit ako kumakayod, bakit ako masaya at kung bakit ako blessed. Iba talaga when you are around me my love ❤️ You are my true love 😘😘😘 Goodnight po ❤️You always push me to the best I can be in life 😘❤️ Well appreciated lahat ng ginagawa mo. I hope hindi ka magsawa... Dahil you are the few person to make this world a better place 💏💕😍 Always pray and seek guidance from the Lord Mahal na mahal kita sobra my one and only 💋❤️💕 sobrang love na love talaga as in! 😍I will always take good care of you as you do it for me also. I will always protect you from harm, all I am to care for you throughout my lifetime 💪 😭 I need you always 😭"
Something like that. Sweet right? Well, guess what.. Idon't feel it at all. I mean? Why change your profile? You said to me that you will only change it when we had a picture together" prenup" picture. You made a promise. But you just prove to me na hindi mo kaya. Hindi mo kayang tuparin mga sinasabi mo. I remember. You said that "we'll be going out, after this ECQ (cause by pandemic)" you said that we're going to beach (ma fav place 🥺). But you didn't do it anyway. I also remember, you shared to me the menu of one of the resto na pinuntahan natin (it's just level up 😍) then sabi mo we will go there ulit. Have a date like that. I am always excited when you say/offer things that every couple had. Hahaha. Im ALWAYS EXCITED. But nothing happens hehe. Even making sundo sa work, you don't offer at all. Haha you only make things just WHEN I said.
Like "sunduin mo naman po ako" or even " padala naman po foods hehe". (I was expecting him to do that since, malapit lang house nila sa work place ko). You only do things pag nag rerequest lang ako, know why? Because you are only scared lang na baka ikumpara ko nanaman yung ako at sa barkada mo. We'll maybe hahahahaha. But definitely it's true. You only have time and super efforts when it comes to your barkada. You have money to buy beers, you always had plans to buy what you need para sa inuman. You make surprising them. You make time to visit them. But me. Hehe. You only visit me, when I only said. . . That's way to shit right hahaha sh*t.
Maybe I'm the only one who thinks this kind hahahaha. Again... I'm seeking attention again. Ha Ha.
Attention Seeker ang ate mo 😁 maybe I'm not just contented. Maybe tinitignan ko lang palagi yung gusto ko. Yung gusto ko ako lang. Sounds SELFISH right? Yeah. Im selfish. Hay. Those things ☝️ I want it to slap to his face. Hahaha joke. I love him very much. But I'm hurting. Hurting by his actions, but he didn't know. I wanted to complain. But I think wala naman magagawa yun haha. I'm always complaining na lang pero nauuwi sa matinding away. Pag siya naman nag complain, madalang ako makipav away, madalas 'okay sige' ang sagot ko.
No wonder nga eh, even my fav color hindi niya alam hahaha my fav place, size ng paa ko (as if alam ko kanya) hahahha things I want, things I enjoy doing. Hindi niya alam yun. He just sing, make fun by himself. Yes I'm happy with him, but you know what. Sometimes I feel like I'm just nothing. But only a girl to his life haha drama ba?
Even pag kakain, he sandok a rice and place it to his place 1st. He don't even ask me if I want him to put some to my plate. He's just like that. When opening a door, or entering a mall. He just go. Like he doesn't have kasama hahaha. He go 1st, tas hihintayin niya na lang ako kung saan niya napansin na wala pa ako. Haaaay. Ow em ge. Did I made a wrong choice? Ang dami ko pa hinahanap. Like. Kung ano ba talaga ang gusto ko? Kung para saan ba ako? Kung saan ba ako naka destiny. I'm always have this ❓❔❓ in my head. I don't know kung ano ang plano saakin ni papa God. *inhaaaale; exhaaaaale*
I had a deep talk with one of my old friend. I miss her so much! I hope I have lot of time to spend with her. I miss having one person who can understand what I feel. I need one person who can tap my back or hug me while I'm crying. I want to give it all out. Gustong gusto ko na ilabas yung natitirang luha ko. Because I'm wishing na, sana sa susunod na iyak ko. Sana I'm crying because I am very happy! ❤️
🌻 𝓜𝓪𝓮𝓒𝓮
