Scared

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I wake up form my nightmare and scream breathing hard sweating and I just cry and Mattia shot uo and hugged me
Mattia: what happens
Me: I had a nightmare I was raped again
Mattia: baby i promise as long as I'm around nothing will happen and I nodded he kissed my forhead and held me against his chest and I held him tight and he tired to get up but I cried
Mattia: baby I'm only going pee I will be right back I nodded and he got up I hugged the pillow and cried a couple minutes later I felt a hand in my leg and I started swinging
Me: GET AWAYY MARK!
Mattia: BABY BABY ITS ME he said bringing me into a hug and I cried
Me: I'm a mess
Mattia: no your hurt emotionally and physically it's gonna be ok and I slowly stopped crying
Mattia: you wanna get some food and I nodded he picked me up and carried me to the kitchen
Mattia: what do you want
Me: cereal I whispered And he nodded and made me some cereal he set me in my chair and kneeled in front of me since I wouldn't let go
Mattia: baby I'm gonna be in my office if you jeee me come down
Me: I need you 🥺
Mattia: I know but I really need to get this done then have my full attention and I nodded he tried to get up but I held him tighter
Mattia: princess you have to let go
Me: I don't want to 🥺
Mattia: the faster you let go the faster I come back I slowly let him go and he kissed my forhead and walked out I finished my cereal and sat watching Netflix well I tried I couldn't focus that night just kept coming back I hadn't noticed I was shaking and crying wherever I looked I kept seeing flashing images of what happened and heard my my cried I put my hands over my ears
Me: STOP STOPPP I said crying hard
Me: LEAVE ME ALOME STOPPPPP I cried harder and felt someone grab me but I started kicking and crying harder
Me: STOP STOP STOPPPPP!!!!! And I felt someone pin me down while I cried and my eyes were closed
Me: please stop I say crying
Me: just don't pleases please I say breaking down more
Mattia: princess open your eyes I slowly opened my eyes and saw Mattia on top of me with a sad expresssion and I just busted out crying
Me: make it stop it won't stop I said crying and he got up and pulled me into a hug while straddling his lap
Mattia: I wish I could baby I wish I could be said rubbing my back
Mattia: I think you need a therapist
Me: no as long as you don't leave me I'm ok I said sniffing and my breathing calming down
Mattia: I know I wish I could be with you all the time but yknow I have work and I can't just call out he said moving hair out my face and I nodded
Me: I know I'm gonna try going out today with Alex and he smiled
Mattia: maybe that's it you need to go out have fun away from where it happened and I nodded smiling
Mattia: your gonna have fun get your jails done he said wiggling his finger and I laughed really laughed and he smiled big
Mattia: there's that beautiful smile I blushed and dug my head in his neck
Me: I love you I said looking in his eyes
Mattia: I love you to and I kissed him he was suprised but kissed me I tired to take off his shirt but he stopped me
Mattia: no your hurt
Me: yeah but I know what I want I said kissing him again and he kissed back but pulled away
Mattia: no your emotional I don't wanna take advantage of you
Me: but-
Mattia: no
Me: man why you gotta be so caring and he laughed
Me: can I get another kiss🥺 he smiled and kissed me and I kissed him one more time and ran my fingers through is hair
Me: now you could finally get a break from me
Mattia: I don't need one imma miss you 🥺 I smiled and called Alex to get ready and I took a shower and got changed

I wake up form my nightmare and scream breathing hard sweating and I just cry and Mattia shot uo and hugged me Mattia: what happens Me: I had a nightmare I was raped againMattia: baby i promise as long as I'm around nothing will happen and I nodde...

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