A buildup of emotion. I never thought I would stumble, let alone fall. I could not feel happiness and all I could feel was dread. It comes from nothing and continues into something. The fluttering of butterflies feels more like the scampering of ants. Thousands of feelings boil in me as I become a vacuum chamber ready to bust. The loneliness becomes overwhelming and future seems brim. I watch the sun change into night and wonder where the day went? The shakiness exasperates as my breathing starts to shift. I desperately try to grasp myself. I find myself as a failure in everything in that moment. I can't even control the most intimate part. I can't control me. Tears sting my eyes as I am gasping for air. My friend right beside me sees me fall. I panic more. She thinks she did something when I know I need to leave, be alone, recuperate.
I go. Cry for what seems an hour, but was only 5 minutes. "Buck up." And explain to my friend that it was not her. She calms, and my bottle sealed right back up.
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For those alone in this world, know there is someone willing to listen. I am okay. This happened to me almost a year ago, only nerves get me sometimes. I hope you all the best. <3
