I don't think my brain works the same as it used to , it's funny because I never thought I would lose you , jus as much as I never thought I would gain you as a friend , I was hurt but showed no emotion in the end , in my head I'm right in all of my wrongs , I'll try to explain this without taking so long , because I know you have better things to do then to listen to a way things should have gone , when I always say don't dwell on the past because what's done is done . I know I betrayed you but think of it as me saving you , and allowing myself to take the blame for you , me allowing myself to deal with the pain for you because the last thing you needed was another person playing you , I allowed you to opened your eyes to see someone who genuinely loves you , not jus toys with you because that would do nothing but torture you and the already damaged soul you were born with . Life puts us in complicated predicaments , and we seem to always forget to value the good in the bad and let go , we forget how to forgive because we're stuck on the fact that things didn't go the way they were supposed to go . This is how it was supposed to be , maybe not you and me but you being happy . Sometimes it's hard to see that through all the pain that's portrayed , all you can see is that you have been betrayed . I don't feel bad for the way things went down , because for a glimpse in time , I had hope and smiled , I got to see that you were happy you hardly ever frowned because you had someone who was mature enough to wipe your tears and replace your sobs with laughs . I had that too , for split second in life , and you may not give a fuck but I thought she was gonna be my wife , she told you the same shit , how could I forget , I was stabbed but I'm the one who gave her the knife to slowly rip my heart out of my chest and hear her complain about the emotions that she left . It's seems jus when I found myself I lost it again , she stole my soul and my need for family and friends , do you understand what I helped you escape from , do you see that without that incident you would be the insane one . You would be in my 6's reminiscing about the times when you didn't wish you'd stop living , forgetting that there's people still here that are waiting on your visit . So don't talk to me about pain and hurt because my shoes are too damaged to walk on your dirt . You can't tell me shit about heartbreak , I'm 18 and still can't catch a break without having a bitch telling me she's different than my ex and showing me exactly why I left that bitch , you're what ? 16 now and barely out of school , you gotta a whole life ahead of you with not a thing to lose . You basically got the silver sticking out ya mouth and Mexican bitch beside you to wipe every mess that comes about . So don't tell me shit about betrayal , I was brought up to not give a fuck or two about a friend being loyal because 9 times out of 10 that friend won't help bury you . You probably reading this waiting for an apology , bitch you thought , I don't regret a thing in life , you should follow me , to a land far far away , where niggas only worrying about not getting sprayed by a AK for for fucking with a nigga bitch by the arcade . She thick and she fucking so why not catch a nut fast . We young and dumb , hopefully we can look back to these times for fun and move on , cause sorry isn't gonna help the pain heal for long .
