a lowkey angsty oneshot.i'm unsure about how i feel about it,but i heard this song the other day and couldn't help but think that it was perfect for a oneshot like this.
not saying that this is what i wanted to happen,but i do think that things could've been done differently.
tw//mentions of *that* part of s4
i hope you enjoy
"i wish i had missed the first time that we kissed
'cause you broke all your promises
and now you're back
you don't get to get me back"
He was numb.
Processing what had happened had taken a lot longer than he'd ever thought possible.
How had things gone from so good to so bad in the space of a few weeks?
Despite knowing that it technically wasn't his fault,and despite the fact that all three of his sisters reminded him of this whenever they felt like he was slipping into despair,he couldn't help but feel like it was.He'd left when she needed him,and now he had to pay the consequences.His younger sister had warned him that he couldn't have that mindset,but his mind was all over the place,so how was he supposed to know what to think?
The plane ride had been torturous,somehow every sound and every sight reminded him of her,and of what had happened.It was like he was drowning in it,the pain was swallowing him whole.
His best friends had told him that moving on was probably the best thing for him, but how was he supposed to do that when he knew that he still loved her?
A part of him wished he could go back in time,back to before he went away,back to when everything was right,because everything felt wrong.Another part of him also wanted to go back,but further,to before they'd even met,he wanted to remove all of their memories from his head.He hated himself for thinking that,but the thought was always there,plaguing the back of his mind,a dark cloud of self doubt and pity,stitched together with threads of regret.
Maybe he couldn't turn back time.Maybe he couldn't change the past,but he could change the present,and he could change the future,and he didn't want to feel like this.
Ever again.
i hope you enjoyed this very brief oneshot,and i hope you can agree with me when i say that...
S4 JAMES DESERVED BETTER
anyways thanks for coming to my tedtalk,and again,i hope you liked it :)
YOU ARE READING
tns oneshots
Fanfictionthe next step - oneshots and missing moments features lost & found aka things that i wish happened in canon
