There's a voice in my head in my head.
It's not me.
"Hail Hydra, ruler of the world. Hail Hydra, may your enemies fall. Hail Hydra."
It's freezing. Not the kind of cold that turns you blue, or makes your teeth chatter. The kind that seeps into your bones, that wraps around your mind like a frigid blanket until your entire reality is defined by it. Until all other senses are masked behind its icy veil, and you are swallowed up. Forgotten.
"Hail Hydra, ruler of the world. Hail Hydra, may your enemies fall. Hail Hydra."
How long? How long had I been trapped in this room, this closet, alone? Days? Weeks? Centuries could have passed and I wouldn't know the difference. How much longer? I didn't know, I'm not even sure I cared. My world was made up only of the now, I had no time to worry about the future.
"Hail Hydra, ruler of the world. Hail Hydra, may your enemies fall. Hail Hydra."
I gritted my teeth to stop there chattering, and resisted the urge to cover my ears. It never worked to do that, the words were just as loud in my mind as they were through the speaker.
"Hail Hydra, ruler of the world. Hail Hydra, may your enemies fall. Hail Hydra."
"No. Stop hailing Hydra. Let their enemies rise." My voice is hoarse, and my throat is raw from my last screaming session. The attempts to drown out those cursed words failing as I collapsed from exhaustion.
The right side of my body has turned a sickly yellowish brown compared to its earlier vivid blue. The bruising caused by my incessant ramming of the door, and even walls of the room. How many times had I thrown myself against that cement? I lost count at about forty, or maybe I just didn't know how to count past that. However bad my side was, my hands were much worse. They are swollen to twice their usual size and split open in a dozen different places, I know there must be broken bones too, because some of my fingers don't respond to commands. None of it hurts though, except maybe the broken ribs. The cold has numbed it all.
That's good, I guess. Better to have the cold than the pain.
"Hail Hydra, ruler of the world. Hail Hydra, may your enemies fall. Hail Hydra."
But somehow, it isn't. I hate the numbness more than anything. And the aloneness of the room. And the voices. Oh God, the voices, that's the worst part of it all. I would run into the arms of the Doctors happily if only to escape them. Would trade my well-lit closet for the confines of the communal grayish cesspit I was in before. It's not even the incessant chanting of 'Hail Hydra' that hurts, it's the other ones. The ones I know, that I can connect to faces, memories. Without the Doctors constantly pumping their drugs in my system, I can finally recognize the people fading in and out of my vision. My Father is the most prevalent one, he is everywhere. In the shadows, in my dreams, screaming outside the door of my cell for me to let him in.
In those moments, the room I'm in feels like the safest place on Earth. But when I'm drugged enough from eating Hydras food to fall asleep, it is a living hell. No escape, no way out. Just me and him, and in the end it's always just me. Because deep down, I'm more scared of him leaving than of him staying and hurting me. I'd rather the cuts, and bruises, and scars, than being alone.
"Hail Hydra, ruler of the world. Hail Hydra, may your enemies fall. Hail Hydra."
He isn't the only one though, far from it. Javier, Elise, my foster-Father, and even mi Mami. Strange, that she's there. I'd never even met her before, and yet somehow I know that the tall, pretty woman is my Mother. She whispers in my ear when I'm falling asleep, asking me to stay awake and talk to her.
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NOT UR FREAK (Avengers fan-fiction)
FanfictionFrederica never had what you would call a 'Good' life, an abusive Father, a dead Mother, things weren't exactly peaches and cream. But add being kidnapped, experimented on by HYDRA, forced to join their growing army, not to mention her uncanny abil...
