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𝓷𝓸𝔀 𝓹𝓵𝓪𝔂𝓲𝓷𝓰 // 𝓳𝓾𝓵𝔂 - 𝓷𝓸𝓪𝓱 𝓬𝔂𝓻𝓾𝓼
You couldn't wait to get home.
Not that anything felt wrong. If anything, it all felt right. Just right enough, that you needed to write everything down.
The words flowed out onto paper easily. It was what you've been hoping for days now. You knew your best ideas for songs came to you when you were at your happiest.
You grabbed your guitar and started to strum each cord, letting the music fill your room. Breathing in each note, totally consuming yourself in the sound.
Why did it take meeting Semi, to bring you back to how you used to be?
You sighed at the thought, leaning against your guitar. It's not him. You just haven't been around another person since ...
Your mind quickly spiraled. You could feel yourself focusing onto nothing. The expression on your face stayed blank, staring out your window. The sky had become a darker gray, gloom setting in around you. It didn't help your mood.
You mindlessly played at the strings of your guitar. You weren't trying to play anything. You were just trying to distract yourself from thoughts creeping in from your past. It didn't work though. You blinked a couple of times, trying to get yourself out of the trance you managed to consume yourself with.
Stop thinking about him.
The him you're referring to wasn't Semi this time.
It was your previous relationship.
At first, he seemed to enjoy listening to you sing around your apartment you shared together. Still, he would cut you off by kissing you - an act you thought meant he liked what he heard - that is, until he would tell you to be a little quieter. When you would go to perform at open mics, he never showed. He give you the excuse that he was too busy with work. Then he'd always finish the conversation by telling you he'd much rather you spend your free time with him anyways, because then maybe he'd consider taking some time out of work. It seemed harmless at first. Until he started to become angry at the thought of you still trying pursuing your music, even after he after he told you it was nothing more than a hobby - hurting you by saying you weren't really that good to begin with.
You never understood why it bothered him so much. It never affected him in any way. So why couldn't you enjoy this on your own? He had plenty of hobbies, you really only had your music.
Eventually, you realized it was because you focused more on your music than him. He became jealous of something else you loved, despite how happy it made you.
You soon put it all away, hoping it was just a bump in your relationship. Maybe you could work through it, and show him that you loved him and music all the same. That music didn't totally come before him. Despite the fact that you wanted it to ...
You tried distancing yourself from him. You don't exactly remember what led to the break up. Your friends helped you move out of your shared apartment and into the spot you have now. He never tried reaching out though. You felt as though, your relationship had already ended, but neither of you were willing to talk about it.
If it wasn't for Semi though ...
You had to remind yourself again. You barely knew Semi. And he barely knew you. As much as you hoped something would come of this, what if there are things he ends up hating about you too.
You would have to open up again. Show someone this side of you. The side where you question every feeling they have towards you. The ugly parts of you. You're quiet, but you're an open book. You're emotional, no matter how hard you try to hide it. It's even more obvious through your music. If he ever hears you play, he'll know. You don't want to open yourself up again like you did before. You don't want to hurt again like before.
You lie in bed and close your eyes, trying to push the bad thoughts away. You're happy when he's around. He appreciates your music. Don't think like that.
You reach behind you for your headphones, and glance over at your phone. There was a message.
Semi I want to see you tonight.
It's only 5pm ... I still have a few hours before the show.
You close your eyes, listening to your music to try and calm yourself.
