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𝓷𝓸𝔀 𝓹𝓵𝓪𝔂𝓲𝓷𝓰 // 𝓹𝓪𝔀𝓷𝓮𝓻 - 𝓹𝓸𝓵𝓪𝓻 𝓫𝓮𝓪𝓻 𝓬𝓵𝓾𝓫
You don't know what you expected.
It's only been a little over a day. Why did you feel this way? It hurt. It hurt seeing them together. The jealousy you felt, even though you barely knew him.
He told you it was nothing.
Not even a few hours ago, you were the happiest you've been in a while. You were in the place you've been trying to get to with your music. You wanted to share that with him.
But maybe you got ahead of yourself.
It's nothing.
You overslept. You tried making it on time to see him perform. You were just a little too late. As you walked into the bar, you scanned the room, only to see the last of members making their way behind stage. You maneuvered your way through the crowd, trying to find a way through to the back. That's when you saw them. If it was nothing, why was he holding her. And why did he kiss her.
You didn't let him give you much of an explanation before leaving the bar. You felt the tears start to form. You felt stupid.
"Y/n!"
You hurried through a couple of small crowds before turning down an alleyway. You finally turned around to see Semi standing there, only a couple steps away from you. You could see he was concerned about you. He was hesitant in his movements, and held out his hands as if he was reaching for you.
"It really is nothing," he reaffirmed what you have been trying to tell yourself this whole time, almost pleading.
You tried to wipe away the tears forming, before they started to fall. It was embarrassing enough to feel the way you did, but it was more embarrassing that you were actually starting to cry. You felt as though you had no right to. Semi wasn't yours.
"It's fine. It really is," you breathed, trying to calm yourself, "we're friends, just friends, I know."
Semi stared at you with a blank expression, taking slow steps in your direction. His face started to scowl as he got closer, noticing your eyes were bloodshot from holding back your tears.
"That's not what I want," he said seriously. He tried wiping away one of your tears.
You swallowed, trying to catch your breath. You were trying not to hiccup on your words.
It's not what you want either.
"I don't like who I am right now," you choked out, "this isn't me. I shouldn't be acting like this."
It was silent.
Semi reached out, tentatively. He slowly started to pull you closer to him. You let it happen. He wrapped his arms around your waist, resting his chin on the top of your head. Your face was pressed against his chest, tears escaping every now and again, staining his shirt. You felt yourself melting into him. You enfolded your arms around him, which caused him to tighten his grip on you. You didn't want to let go.
"Y/n," Semi spoke softly, "we can stay really good friends, if that's what you want."
You still hadn't let go.
You knew that he didn't mean it. You could hear it in his voice, he was hurt. You started to let go.
"No, stay," he demanded, but his last word was almost too soft to hear, "please."
You didn't move.
You wanted Semi. There wasn't any doubt about that. You just didn't know what was holding you back. Everything felt like it was falling into place, but then why are you suddenly pushing him away?
A tinged of guilt ran through your body. It was doubt. Doubt is what was holding you back. You couldn't imagine how a relationship with Semi could last. There was no way he would come to love everything about you. He might've been interested in your lyrics, but it would fade. The doubt kept creeping into your mind.
You tried backing away again, and this time, Semi let you.
"Can we?" You started, "can we at least try being friends?"
There was a pain in your chest. What are you saying?
His mouth didn't move to answer you. He stared at you longingly, guiding his hand up to your hair, tucking a piece behind your ear. He kept his hand on your neck, while rubbing his thumb against your cheek. His expression changed. It was almost as though he had given up.
