To Love Irrevocably [18+]

Chapter Thirty-Six

"Hey," a sultry voice whispers into my ear, waking me. Light peeks through a slit in the curtains, blinding me and making me clench my eyes closed. "Up. I want to spend the day with you before my shift."

I meet her words with a tired groan before opening my eyes and staring at her in a groggy daze. "Will you let me come to work with you?" I mutter, shoving my arm behind my head. When she gives me an unsure look, I pout. "I promise I won't go into a jealous rage that'll leave you breaking up with me again. I'm sorry for that, by the way."

"You can stop apologizing," she tells me, rolling her eyes but not fighting her smile. "Are you sure you'll be able to sit through my routine? Babe, I don't want you to do something you'll be uncomfortable with."

Softening my gaze, I give her a small smile. "I promise to be on my best behavior."

Seren rolls her eyes again, and I already know that I've gotten her. When she nods her head, I wrap my arms around her and pull her body into mine. Taking the covers, I somehow fling the large fabric over the both of us and lay her down next to me. We're in a fit of giggles as we snuggle into each other.

"Hi," I whisper, pressing our foreheads together.

"Hi."

Silence envelopes us with only our breaths to accompany that. Our hands fiddle together, playing and pulling at our fingers. Tilting my head ever so slightly, I press my lips to hers. She tastes like mint, reminding me that I have the breath of death.

"Gotta brush my teeth." I pull away from her. Before Seren can protest, because I know she will, I hop off the bed and dash to the bathroom in all my naked glory. It's a lot colder than I thought it would be.

Seren and I spend the morning in bed feeding each other pancakes and fruit. We took this time to catch up on our week spent apart. Her vulnerability comes like a tidal wave smashing against me. I feel as if I'm drowning in guilt for making Seren feel this way. I should've just reigned in my insecurities and let things be.

My heart stutters, both good and bad. This woman makes me feel more alive than I've ever felt in my entire life. Without her, I think I'd still be that same shy guy who can't even do eye contact. For me, Seren is the one saving grace I didn't know I needed.

Her amber eyes give me so much. They show me the world and a life I want to live only with her. I never want to hurt her or do anything to ruin this again.

"You were upset," I remind her, just now remembering her previous mood myself. "Before I fucked up. You were really upset."

"What's with this newfound cussing? I kind of like it."

With a blush, I scrunch my face at her. Laughing, I lean forward and kiss her sweet mouth. Strawberries overwhelm my senses, but I inhale the taste that's her with pleasure.

Giving her a reassuring smile, I take a strand of her hair and push it behind her ear. "I won't force you to talk, Seren. Only when you're ready, just as you do with me. I'll support you every step of the way."

We share a moment of silence between the two of us. Our eyes stay connected, drawing each other in, studying each other with great tenacity. Blue eyes face golden ones, but neither of us finds it uncomfortable. Seren pulls her bottom lip into her mouth and I want to do nothing more than bite it myself. But it's not the time for that.

After a while, Seren sighs and nods her head. "My parents contacted me," she tells me. I can detect the disconcertion in her tone, letting me know it was unexpected for her.

"Oh, gosh." I reach for her and lay a hand on her shoulder to show her my support. "Are you okay?"

She only shrugs. "I shouldn't even be upset over this. They cut me out so long ago that I don't even remember what my old house looks like. It's just the audacity of them deciding to call me now after all this time."

My heart aches for her. Seeing Seren this disturbed is jarring, yet I can't help but feel proud that she's opening up to me and showing me so much vulnerability. When she has told me about her family before, her face has been so blank. It was as if she hadn't cared that they pushed her away all those years ago.

It's the complete opposite now. The glossy sheen in her eyes is easy to detect. Even as she looks away, she can't hide her tears. One betrays her and falls down her face in a cascade of so many emotions. And as another comes, she breaks down with the force of a dam crumbling.

There's no pause in my steps as I reach forward and pull her into my body. She melts into me in a fit of trembles and sobs. The sounds that rip from her bring tears to my own eyes. Her clutch on me tightens, and she buries her head into my neck further. My skin becomes slick with her torment, but I don't care.

"How could they just decide that everything is fine when it's not? They cut me off for something so fucking dumb and now they just suddenly miss me?" she asks, sarcasm and pain dripping from her tone. "I cannot stand that. They've always done stupid shit that hurt, Sutton, but this really takes the cake."

Pouting, I pull her in closer. "People can really suck... even those meant to love us unconditionally." The only experience I can speak from is my father, but I never knew him, so it doesn't count.

"Don't I fucking know it." She laughs without humor.

"I hate that your parents are putting you through this," I tell her, adjusting us so we can lie more snug. "They don't deserve to have you in their life. They don't deserve you, your time, nothing."

"The only downfall to this shit is that I can't spend holidays with my brother. That's all spent with my dumb fuck parents. You know I haven't seen him in a whole fucking year." She scoffs, shaking her head. Her voice is raspy from crying, but her anger can't be tamed. "With him going to school and me not having a relationship with my parents, there's just no time. It sucks, Sutton, it really does."

I wonder if Seren has been holding all of this back. We've switched subjects from her parents to her brother. It seems she's been holding a lot more back than I ever thought. Guilt racks me since I hadn't realized she was keeping so much hurt inside of her. I should've paid more attention.

"Do you guys at least talk?"

"Not as much as we used to. I'm afraid my parents have told him stupid lies or some shit."

"I don't know your brother at all, but do you really think he'd be so quick to turn on you? College can just get really busy and really tiring. There are times when you finish all your work and just don't want to talk to anyone or do anything," I say, furrowing my eyebrows. There were a lot of sleepless nights spent in my college days.

Seren only shrugs. "Perhaps. I'm just so sick of people leaving me or fucking me over. Family or not, I'm tired of that shit."

The only people I know who have done that to her are her parents and, I guess, her brother now. Who else would do such a heinous thing to someone like Seren? It's a pleasure having her in my life, so I can't imagine her not being here. Since the first day I met her, she's been this clarity for me and I can't go back to the haze.

"Who else has done this?" Taking the plunge, I venture and ask the question.

"I don't want to talk about this anymore," she mumbles, shooting me down. "I just want to enjoy you until we leave for the club."

Nuzzling into her closer, I nod my head. I pull her in tighter to me and run my fingers through her soft hair. "Of course, whatever you want. I just want you to know that I'm here whenever you want to get things off your chest."

"God, you're amazing."

No, you are.