Stalkers, Secrets and Lies (Completed)

Stalkers, Secrets and Lies - Chapter 19

Copyright © 2011 Kirsty Moseley

Chapter 19

 

 

Aaliyah's POV

By the time we were done I was exhausted. That honestly was the best thing that ever happened to me, feeling that close to him, almost like he was part of me. He seemed to have the ability to make me feel clean and whole, he made me forget everything bad that had ever happened to me. That was better than I ever dreamed it would be, than I ever thought it could be. I had never felt anything like that, not just the physical pleasure but how tender and caring he was, every touch and kiss filled with passion and love. It made my heart ache. It was more than $ex, it was everything to me.

He was breathing heavy, I lifted my head from his chest to look at his handsome face. He was asleep and snoring lightly. Ethan had always snored a little, I giggled at the sound of it, I used to tease him about it something chronic, but actually I loved the sound of it. It was calming somehow, reassuring and comforting. He had a hicky on the top of his chest where I had kissed all over his chest and stomach making up for lost time.

I pulled myself up the bed a little and brushed his hair off of his forehead lightly. He was so incredible, I can't believe he would do something like this for me, raise a child that's not his. Not only that, but he wanted to pretend it was his. That was complete and utter devotion and I honestly didn't know how to feel about it. I didn't deserve this boy and his love, he was too good for me but for some reason unbeknown to me he wanted me. He wanted me and the baby.

I felt a little guilty, if we did this then the baby would never know its real father, not that it would really be losing out on anything. Johnny wasn't really fit to be a father at all, so raising a baby with him would be a disaster, not to mention the fact that I didn't love him like that. Raising a child in a loveless broken home just wasn't fair on the child.

Johnny had always wanted a baby, he said so himself earlier tonight. If I went to him now and told him I was pregnant he would be ecstatic and I was taking that away from him. I was depriving him of something that was rightfully his, and I don't think I would ever forgive myself for that.

There was no doubt in my mind that Ethan would be an amazing father, I just wasn't totally convinced that this was a good idea. I wanted to do it more than anything for me and the baby, being with Ethan would be the best thing that would ever happen to us. But how could this be right for Ethan? Surely being twenty two and stuck with another man's child would be a nightmare after a little while, then he might regret it and feel trapped. I couldn't bear the thought of him being unhappy.

My stomach growled angrily and I laughed, in my haste to get out of Johnny's house I hadn't eaten dinner and I was now starving hungry. I pushed myself up out of the bed and grabbed Ethan's shirt slipping it over my head and padding quietly to the kitchen. There had to be something to eat in this place, a bowl of cereal or something.

I looked in the fridge and in every cupboard and all I could come up with was an almost stale loaf of bread and some butter. Toast it is then! Seriously we needed to get some food in, this was terrible, how the hell could he live like this? I put some bread under the grill looking in the last cupboard hopefully, but nothing.