The Misadventures of... this title is gonna be long

Chappie 1

It is in this sad and cruel world that we call "Earth" we find a single girl, groaning around in such fierce mental pain that she was about to use the pencil she was holding onto as a means to stab herself in the neck and spare herself from anymore humiliation, ugliness, perfectionism, and unnecessary stress.

Yes, that pathetic girl is me.

Instead of doing such, I opted to grab my phone and upon up a certain, strange, but mysteriously addicting app called "kik" (where I've been always afraid of being verbally sexually harassed ever since it has actually been done to me in real life—I wish I was kidding about that last part) contacted an internet friend, ERROR ERROR CANNOT READ DATA SYSTEM REBOOT IN 3 2 1, and rant out with my one infamous phrase:

"UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!!!!!!"

"What now?"

"WHY CAN'T I DO THIS?!"

"You're hopeless."

"Wow, thanks for the support."
...
...
...
"Hello? Okay, DIS AIN'T FUNNY ANYMORE."

Sighing yet once again, I turned dejectedly back to THE DEVIL'S SPAWN: an attempt of a crossover drawing between Marth from Fire Emblem and Gundam 00.

Hooray for impossible-to-draw mobile suits.

I tried to do one more stroke of the folds on the tight uniform, then threw my pencil towards the couch at the other side of the room, slumped down, and groaned out a huge, loud, and very frustrated "UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!"

Meanwhile, in the background, my mom yells at me for acting so unaccordingly, if that's a word.

Stupid perfectionism getting in the way of my naive 14-year-old-created artwork. If anybody knows how to permanently get rid of it, you are more than welcome to contact one of my three Instagrams.

Yes, I use Instagram like a freaking demented Homo Sapien. Whoopidee-flippin'-doo.

It was an honestly boring, lazy summer day. I've already ran around the 4.3 mile-long lake and jump-roped. What else does my mom want me to do, start whipping out some dance-moves? I could always just start taking my much-wanted fencing classes but OH NO MAH BOI she just pushes me into the local gym's treadmill.

Yeah, I have an exercise problem. I'm fat and lazy. Get over it. Good-bye.

I closed my eyes. Maybe a nap could do me some good...

____________________________________________

I woke up due to the abnormal brightness to the... room? This is no room...

I slowly sat back up to a proper position, then groaned in pain as my back was aching. At this rate, I'd be the Hunchback of Notre Dame in my twenties.

"Who the HECK are YOU?!"

I blinked open my eyes and stared at the guy in front of me. He had blonde hair and looked kinda dopey and Caucasian... actually, what right do I, a freaking fugly-looking Asian girl, have to call him that in my mind? Bad me!

"Uh... the face of death and evil?" Something was telling me that I should know this guy...

"Wait... you sound familiar..."

"Don't even try hitting on me. I'm already taken."

"N-no! I mean..."

"Please tell me this is a really weird and absolutely crazy lucid dream..."

He slapped me on the face.

"Hey!"

"Marth?!"

Wait... I do know this guy! "Dane? Dane, right? Please call me Kat. Calling me "Marth" is kinda awkward, y'know?"

"Gotchya."

I stood up and realized that... I am shorter than my guy friend YET AGAIN. "Noooooooooooooooooo..."

"Yes?"

"No."

"Okay.

The two of us stood in an awkward silence before we looked around in our setting, which was—oh, come on, the white room from Assassin's Creed?! Someone's gonna get sued for this, and it isn't gonna be me!

"Okay. I'm done. I'm done. I'm SO. FREAKING. DONE." I threw my hands up into the sky and walked away into some random direction. "Please tell me it's a dream, please tell me it's a dream, please tell me it's a frackin' stupid dream..."

"No, it's not!" Dane called out after me.

"Yeah, sure, like you would know!" I retorted back—

Darkness.

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A/N:
Please don't kill me.