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I have so much of you in my heart. - John Keats
"This is the part where you ask me if I want to come inside, Avery."
They had arrived at her flat a few minutes before, still sitting inside of Harry's car. "Is it?"
"Yes." He replied with a small chuckle.
"Oh, sorry," she whispered, avoiding his gaze and instead focusing her attention on her hands. She didn't want him to leave. She didn't want to be alone right now. This was completely different from what she has felt every day for as long as she could remember. As long as Harry was close, she wouldn't end up falling asleep, and nothing was better than staying awake.
"Do you remember when we met?" He asked, somewhen he had unbuckled his seatbelt and was now leaning with his back pressed against his door, his leg resting on his seat.
"Quite well. You got pretty beat up, and I had to come to save you."
"And you were wandering around the streets of London on your own."
"I don't mind being alone." she shrugged, still focusing on her hands so she couldn't see his expression. For the first time in a while since being with Harry, her heart started to anxiously beat and her mind started racing. She felt so claustrophobic in this car all of a sudden, trying to press herself further against the car door without him noticing.
"I don't want to put any pressure on you or intrude upon your personal life, but are you alright, Avery? If there's anything you need you can tell me, you know that right? I know we've only known each other for a couple of weeks, but I really care about you, and I don't think you're okay..."
The handle of the car door pressed against her rib, making it ache while her back was against the cold window. With a freight train still making its rounds through her mind, without thinking she snapped back "I don't think you know what you're talking about."
As soon as the words had left her mouth, she wanted to reach out for them and put them right back in, swallowing them whole. Never to be seen or heard again. When she was a child, she had rarely lost control of her words. That is perhaps the only thing that she misses from those years of her life. She had the calmest of mind in the most difficult of situations. Nowadays, her brain was always on high alert, barely ever taking a break.
"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to say that, I didn't, please. I'm sorry, Harry. I'm so sorry." She lifted her head to look at him with pleading eyes. He was staring at her, his face expressionless but his green eyes soft.
"Why are you apologizing?" His eyebrows were knit together in confusion.
"Because I was rude. I didn't mean to be, I'm sorry."
"You weren't being rude, Avery."
"I need to go." She clutched her bag close to her, quickly getting out of the car. Harry followers her actions, looking over the roof of the vehicle as she runs up the stairs to the white door of her building. He stayed there for a while after she had made her way inside. He soon accepted that the lights in her apartment would never turn off, so he got back on the road.
~
Harry parked the car in his uncle's yard before making his way back to his own flat. It was nearing 3 am now, the neighborhood was rather lonely and he enjoyed the quiet. Maybe that's why Avery didn't mind being alone. Everything was so serene. Maybe her life had once been too loud, and now all she needed was quiet.
He fumbled with his keys before entering his dimly lit flat. Immediately stepping into the kitchen, pulling out a bottle of wine, filling a glass up to the brim. He downed half of it in one gulp. A sudden sound was heard behind him, nearly making him drop his glass. He quickly realized who it was.
"Jesus Francis... You scared the shit out of me." He murmured, more into his glass than towards the boy standing in front of him. Francis was leaning against the doorway of his bedroom, leg wrapped in fresh gauze.
"Sorry, how was it?"
"You didn't miss anything." This was Harry's go-to answer whenever he would ask. He didn't want Francis to feel bad for not being able to join them. "Did you wrap it up?"
"Yes, don't worry ab-"
"And did you make an appointment? What time? I'll drop you off."
"At 10 am but you don't have to, I'll go on my own."
"No, I'm driving you, I want to see you enter the building." He replied, filling his wine glass again, this time only halfway.
"I'm sorry, Harry."
"It's okay, Francis. We'll figure something out, alright?" Harry knew that Francis didn't want them to figure anything out. He also knew that they probably wouldn't. Tomorrow, most of it will be forgotten. Francis would shut him out if he mentioned anything, simply because he didn't want Harry to worry.
"Go to sleep, yeah? We will worry about this later." Giving a light nod, Francis made his way to his room, falling asleep as soon as his body hit the mattress.
Harry poured the remainder of the wine in his glass down the sink before slowly making his way to the closed bathroom door. The overwhelming smell of bleach was noticeable, even from the outside. He pressed down the handle, stepping into the room and getting hit by that chemical smell he knew too well.
His eyes dropped to the sink, looking at the white ceramic material before glancing down at the floor. His vision was disturbed by a small red spot on the rug placed in front of the sink. "You missed a spot." Grabbing the bleach and pouring a small bit onto the rug, he began to find several more small spots that needed to be cleaned up.
Afterward, he brushed his teeth, not once glancing up to look at his reflection in the mirror hung above the sink. He opened every cabinet, searching through all of them to find the first razor taped to the bottom of Franchise's toothbrush cup, the second one in a plant pot, number three, four, and five in another small medicine cabinet. Harry flushed them all down the toilet before trudging off to his bedroom.
He layed in bed, staring at the ceiling for a long time. His final thought before finally drifting off to sleep being Avery positioned at her untuned piano, tea sat close by. Her there, just completely alone, waiting for time to pass just a little faster.
I cannot wait to start playing more with the dynamic between Harry and Francis♥️✨🦋
