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But that's how love goes
After admitting what had been in his mind for so long now, the atmosphere around the pair was tense. Though they were in such a wide-open space, it felt like they were trapped in the confines of the smallest room, with a view of all the places that they could be going.
They decided to get breakfast at a cafe they passed on the way to the beach. It was located on the corner of a mostly abandoned strip, the outside painted an off white color. The place was relatively empty, the only other person inside being an elderly man reading the Daily Newspaper while sipping on a cup of tea. Avery picks a table while Harry orders at the counter. She chose a small table next to a window, the top of it being printed a fake wood panelling, the corners peeling up a bit.
Harry looked away from the woman at the counter and focused on Avery. She sat slightly curled into herself against the window, the golden rays of the sun hitting her face in the perfect way, making her cerulean eyes glisten. He was soon interrupted by the woman returning with their food, clearing her throat to gain his attention. He brought everything back to the table, setting the dishes down gently. Tea for Avery, black coffee for himself, and an order of eggs with toast for the both of them.
"I can't remember the last time that I had decent scrambled eggs." Avery's voice breaks the silence, eyes trained on the royal blue and yellow painted ceramic dish in front of her as she spoke.
"If I'm honest, I don't think I have ever seen you eat anything." He shakes his head, putting some of his eggs onto the small piece of toast before taking a bite, admiring the wide ocean view they had through the window.
"I just don't know how to cook," Avery begins, defending herself. "And ordering stuff over the phone scares me."
"I've got no idea how you are surviving on your own, Avery."
"Me either."
They finish their food in silence, both of them enjoy the peacefulness around them. Even though they weren't far from London, it felt like they were hundreds of thousands of miles away from it. Neither of them wanted to go back. Not yet. "Are there nights that you don't have nightmares? I don't get it, when do you sleep?"
"What?" Avery's attention is now directed at Harry, who is facing her with furrowed brows. His expression is calm, but his eyes convey so much worry. He understood that she wasn't an open book, she liked to be private. But he was so deeply concerned for the small girl that was sitting across from him that he couldn't help but ask, looking for the smallest thing that could potentially ease his mind and lessen his worry in the slightest.
She was taken aback by the question. Before answering, she took a sip of her tea, letting the now lukewarm liquid run down her throat. "Well... they don't happen every time I sleep, but definitely the majority... I think I just freak myself out, because even the possibility of having one scares the shit out of me. Then, because I'm scared, I don't go to sleep at all... it's a vicious, fever repeating cycle."
Harry nodded, watching her thoughtfully. He wished he could take her hand in his own, hoping to give her a small amount of comfort, but he didn't want to startle her. "Is there anything that helps? I don't know, maybe if someone is in the flat with you... or if you listen to music. I'm not trying to make fun of you, okay? I just... I want to help."
She manages to let out a small chuckle, turning to face away from him slightly. "I know you're not making fun of it, Harry. Uhm... sometimes music helps me fall asleep, but it only calms my anxiety. And, I mean, you were... in my flat last time, and that didn't turn out too well. I don't think that has to do with it."
"What do you do when you wake up from one?"
She took a deep breath before facing him again. It wasn't hard to talk about these things with Harry, he made it easy. This was something that she didn't enjoy revisiting, no matter the circumstances. "Normally I sit and wait it out. I will calm myself down eventually."
"And... what about your past boyfriends?" Harry inquires carefully, assuming that she had been in prior relationships. "How did they handle that?"
"It depends, I don't blame them for anything they did because I know that it's not easy to be with me. My first boyfriend just accepted it... he always slept through the night, acting like he was asleep when I would wake up. I knew he wasn't, but I didn't want to confront him about it because I was afraid that he would leave me... and eventually he did. My second, and last serious boyfriend, didn't understand it. I get why, frankly, I don't really understand it much myself either. Then he just... he- he kinda told me to get over it," Another chuckle falls from her lips before she continues. "So, I tried to hide it. That ended up making everything worse, because now I wasn't worried about having a nightmare, I was worried about him finding out I had one, and then getting told off for it..."
"Sounds like a huge twat." Harry nudges her leg with his boot-clad foot. "Yeah, I guess you could say that."
"You didn't deserve that, Ave. Any of it."
"Nobody does," She shrugs, finishing the last bit of her tea. "I feel like I said too much, sorry you had to listen to all of that."
He smiles softly at her. "Don't be, it just means that you trust me."
"Well, now you have to tell me about your previous relationships. It's only fair. How many have you had?" Avery leans forward, resting her elbows on the wood patterned table, her chin sitting atop her hands. "I seem to remember you looking for potential suitors for a one-night stand the night we met. You also said that you only sleep with girls you are in love with, so please, enlighten me."
Harry shakes his head at the memory, looking off in the distance for a short moment with a smile on his face. "Ah yes, definitely not my proudest of moments."
"How many relationships have you been in?"
"Three, One that lasted three years, the others only a couple of months. Somewhen I just decide not to date anyone until I am completely sure that they are worth it."
"So, you go around in search of one-night stands instead?"
"Yes, both parties get what they want and never have to see each other again," He shrugs, knowing that his explanation is odd. "If you really look at it, there are two kinds of love; physical love and personal love. Anyone that I meet at a pub and fall in love with, that's physical love. While the people I find not only attractive but genuinely want to spend my time with, that's personal love." He concludes.
"Then why call it love?"
"Why not? Love is a lovely word and it gives me the opportunity to say it more often."
"You're weird." she laughs, making a toothy grin spread across his face.
"I have to admit, it makes more sense when I'm drunk."
Avery was about to comment on his statement when Harry's phone interrupted them, begging to be answered.
