The Goat Demon

1: Fucking Flamboyant

You didn't really expect to wake up to see some random-ass dude with some huge swords standing on your bridge. He was like two inches shorter than you or something. You blinked, grabbing your bat and throwing yourself on the bridge behind him.

Of course, you weren't as lucky as most because you had loud-ass hooves. He heard you right away, and turned to just see you, with your bat, "Wow! You have some flamboyant eyes! And you're standing in the sun!? HOW INTERESTING!" 

You blinked. Maybe you wouldn't kill him. He actually seemed pretty ostentatious for a human. AND YOU LIKED THAT SHIT! The bitch even had some fancy makeup and golden arm bands, "Damn! You're pretty flamboyant yourself! Where'd you get your makeup!?" 

And thus began a conversation that would be the start of like, the best and most iconic anime friendship to ever exist. You both talked about different types of makeup, sparkly things, weapons, and other things. 

You both even talked about the most flamboyant ways you'd killed things! He was actually the most chill human you'd ever met. You'd actually learned his name was Tengen Uzui, and that he was eighteen.

You were like three-hundred and twenty-four years old, so if you were human you'd be like six years older than him. He'd actually told you he had like three girlfriends! He was so fucking cool. If he had a phone, you would have totally asked for his number. 

You blinked, "Hold up. Tengen, I like, have something so we can straight up call like any time." 

You went under your bridge, and got the spare iPhone you had, giving it to him: "So like, it's solar powered and its it's own service hotspot so you should be good with that. And you should be able to pick Japanese as the main language for the phone when you go to set it up. My phone number should automatically be on there, so contacting me should straight up be easy!" 

"WOW! tHis shiny black rectangle is very interesting! I will try to do my best and contact you daily with it! If I can't figure out how to use it, I'll be sure to send my crow!" 

"I can't read."

"Then I will teach you how to read!"

"Damn, that's lit."

He was totally your best friend now. Y'all were gonna be so fucking tight!

So, after your new friend left the bridge, life was good. But...After he left, this also happened to be when all the posers came out, and wanted to cross your bridge. Damn, this sucked.