The Shuffled Anticipation

Antidote

If there was an antidote to pain, what was the antidote to happiness?

Now asking an antidote for happiness sounds too much an half witted action from my part!!! But do we really want to be happy always?

What do we do when we miss someone? The best thing in all regards would have been, just to put a cork on the opened champagne oops also known as our mind; and get over it's after effect!!! But withdrawal gives rise to intense retention of the withdrawn; missing someone make us remember them more than we want to!!!

Memories are never peaceful but soothing poison; the eye of the tornado, where everything seems to be calm, wrapping around itself the veil of disaster and then, everything comes to a stop and an unwanted but expected end, as the time did, as the people do and so will our lives follow the same panorama...

Why do we build memories, or do we really build them? Isn't it just a remembrance of both the loved and the hated, the touch and the burn,the fire and the ash, the lived and the lost!!! What is the antidote to suffice the loss of the only crutch that we wanted to hold strongly as the days that passed so long; make us feel so impaired!!! How did our shelter, turn into a mere resident of our heart!!! How does a vagabond shade you when it's just a sky above her??!!

Suddenly that intense want of happiness and that want to smile over the pain, the want of proving ourselves strong than we know; oops being stronger than we want to; make us feel the savoury of our strength!!! And then the happiness that we mask on our face to cover up the bruises; what is an antidote to this happiness??!!

The fear of expression and the fear of expressed; the fear of the cause and the fear of consequences; shackle our heart with happiness but why not let the tears flow? The heart had been tainted with the dust of happiness that the old seem older and distance seem farther!!! The scream has now turned mellow and the fire changed to just a spark!!!

I want an antidote to happiness, the happiness that dusted the truest feelings of a ripped heart, the happiness that iced the memories strong in our mind and never let it flow!!! The memories that had been crucified and buried in the mind so hard that the heart ached!!! The memories that faded but were never lost!!!

It's ok to cry, it's ok to shout, it's ok to break, it's ok to fall, it's ok to unshackle yourself cause it has been to tough to be happy!!! Let the tears flood over the grimy stories that were never meant to be entailed...

And suddenly you realise that there has never been an antidote!!! It has just been an after effect of our will to have the consequence!!! A consequence that is the cause of the want!!! The want for an antidote!!!

-❤️ Uditi Chakraborty❤️