A Question Of Roomates

Ch. 14

"When did you start taking these?" I thought about how the situation looked. There I was staring down at Stiles like a kid in trouble while my boyfriend just gazed out the window not chancing to speak...what was he thinking about? Why wasn't he speaking? If you ask me I had every right to be mad, concerned, angry, I was allowed to be since I had just found pills hidden away in his room "Stiles?"

Finally, as if he had been blocking out every word I had been saying, he was to his feet, looking my way accusingly. I never realized how frightening Stiles could be, and yet cute at the same time "Hold on—Why were you going through my things in the first place?"

"W-Well I was worried and...It was Scott's idea!" I shouted, not giving it a second thought as I threw the kid under the bus "He was worried about you. We both were. When did you start taking these?" regardless of how the situation came about it didn't excuse the matter at hand.

He backed down and shrugged, it wasn't like Stiles  to give up so easily but he was already defeated "Maybe a week ago. It's just so much was happening. I wanted things to be clear, just for a minute"

"What do you mean babe?"

"I mean...you know how out there I can get--you live with me for fucks sake. My class load has been going okay. And you and I have been doing so well, I didn't want to fuck anything else up. Because that's what always always happens to me when things are going good. I loose everything I get ahold of because I can't just stop and think like a normal person for two seconds. Plus, you wanted me to meet your family and I didn't want them to think I was crazy—I just wanted to make a nice impression. I just—GOSH! I just wanted things to be okay!"

"Stiles. My family. I want the to know you, not this zombie version of you. And if they have something to say about it they can just keep it to themselves. But that's not going to happen"

"Oh please, spare me will you? You could barely stand me when we first met" I was taken a back for a moment. Stiles had never been so blatantly chafe.

"Stiles that was-"

He groaned, clearly done with the conversation. That must be the irritability side effect eating away at him. I could easily say I didn't like this version of Stiles, it wasn't the guy I fell for, the guy who so easily made me love him.

I love him. It was fast, no one had to tell me, but I didn't care. The way he made me laugh, the need for his body beside mine at night, the way he believed in me. Stiles' presence in general made my heart beat, and my palms sweat and the feeling only intensified as our relationship went on. And this just proved my affections more. The sight of the medication, the dark circles under his eyes, the light in general that had left him and my heart was breaking over and over and over again "I don't understand why you're making such a big deal. Listen, Derek, the pills aren't hurting anyone. I've taken them before"

"I'm not going to let you think this is okay" and before Stiles could even bother to think up a response I sped off to the bathroom. Stiles was hot on my trail yelling something behind me but I couldn't make anything out. Maybe be I was being a bit dramatic but If you asked me, the moment called for it. I stopped when I finally got to the bathroom, and held the open bottle over the toilet. Stiles slid to a stop and watched me with cautious eyes.

"Seriously Derek. What are you doing?"

"Tell me you want to keep taking these. Not for me, or my family or anyone else. Tell me you want to take them for yourself and I'll give them back. I left you keep taking them, and I won't bring them up again" Those lips that were hanging open, snapped closed, his head hung and that was all the answer I needed. I left plenty of room for him to stop me, but as my hand flipped and the pills went falling soundly into the toilet bowl, he never moved.

Stiles went to bed early that night. He stayed on his side of the dorm, for the first time in a long time, nothing but silence came from his room for hours to follow. I had inevitably grown used to Stiles sleeping beside me. It was now a need to get a good nights rest.

The next day, It was a Saturday. So it was well into the day when Stiles finally woke. Wordlessly he sat at the crowded table accepting the plate of food I slid before him. I sat with my own breakfast across from him, and he didn't move a muscle. He was glaring at his meal and nowhere else "Eat"

"You're still mad" He sighed. His voice cracked, still dry and broken from presumably having just woken up.

"No"

"You go into one word mode when you get upset" I tried not to chuckle, we two had caught on to each other's quirks fairly quickly.

Obviously a nights sleep wasn't enough for either of us to drop the previous days argument "I'm not mad. I'm...I'm confused Stiles. You told me how much you hated those things, how you were happy with yourself then I catch you taking them?"

"I don't know what else to tell you Der, it seemed like a good idea to me. I just wanted things to stay okay, just for a little while. Listen my plan was simple: I'd take the pills long enough to be calm around your family, long enough for things to stay good. Then I'd stop taking them by the time we got back home, and they'd wear off in a few days"

"That sounds like a good plan? Keeping secret from your boyfriend—from the man you sleep next to every night? Jesus Stiles-"

"I took them when I was little, for a while in high school, and my first year of college. They are harmless to me, I promise. I sleep a little more, and I'm mellow but it doesn't hurt me"

"What about me? What if it hurts me?" His beautiful brown eyes suddenly glossed over like he'd never considered the idea. Like the thought of him changing himself would never effect me. In that moment I realized Stiles had never had anyone truly love him, truly care "Do you think I want to see you like that? Sti I want you the way you are. I can admit the way I acted when I first met you was--it was not my best moment. But I was lucky and realized what I could have lost. I am proud of who I'm with. I—I love you man, and you just...you don't seem to see me breaking over this"

"Y-You...You love? Me?" What was I gonna do with him? I wondered as I lowered my head. It seemed like this fight was going nowhere.

Suddenly, like a light in darkness, I felt his thin arms fall across my shoulders as he pulled me into an embrace. I hadn't heard him stand from the table or even shuffle towards me "I'm sorry. I guess I just haven't had someone care about me like this. No one really...I guess I just didn't see"

"Just...Talk to me from now on yeah? Don't go medicating or what not"

"I love you too Mr.Hale" I stood up, giving myself the chance to hold him back completely. He kissed at my neck whispering "Before you go snooping and bite my head off again...there's one more bottled. It rolled under my dresser and I never got it out"

"Stiles" I growled. But his grip tightened not letting me go.

"Shh shh. Just embrace the moment. Remember you love me. Let's not ruin it with you're grouchiness"

Well, at least he was coming back.