Utopia

three

I walked around the garden, feeling the sweet grass beneath my toes. The blades tickling my toes and grazing my crutches. I keep going, even when the underside of my armpits begins to ache from the pressure being put on them.

I pass my mother's garden, and reach out my hands to the Chrysanthemums. Their petals delicate. My finger caresses it, gently. I rub the soft pink petal between my index and thumb, spreading out the dew clinging to it.

I couldn't sleep. All I heard were voices. Flashes of blinding light, visions of pristine white. I couldn't move my fingers, I couldn't move my toes-- I couldn't move my anything. My eyes the only thing that could flicker, back and forth. But to look at what?

Nothing but blindness. I felt mad, a sense of mania coming over. Was I blind? But then I wake up.

I look up at the sky. It hasn't been this bright, filed with different sized stars. Dying and being born. The moon filled to the brim. Breath takingly beautiful.

I hear a rustling and look towards the bushes. Curious, I let my crutches fall to the floor, and sit down. Waiting  patiently to see if the mystery will show itself.

I love you...
Come back to us. Please.

I blink my eyes and close them. The sun beating down on me. When did I fall asleep? I turn my head, my twisted hair, falling across my face. I lift my arm and lay the forearm across my forehead. I turn my head and see the flowers are closed.

The feeling of serenity is snatched away once I hear my mother voice from the patio.

"Samantha! What are you doing out so early? You could easily catch your death out here. Especially in your condition! How long have you been outside? You've only been out of the hospital for a week."

I know she's only worried for my well-being, but I can't help but block her out, even for a second more of this peaceful bliss.

"-antha! Are you listening?" I feel a bony finger prod my side. I let out a giggle, and soon my mother's fingers are dancing over my skin.

"M-Mom!" I stutter and feel tears coming out of the corner of my eyes.

I feel my mother's shoulder bump mine when she lays down, tired from our tickle fight. That's how my dad finds us a couple minutes later.

"Samantha? Love? What're you guys doing outside?" He looks over us, curiously.

"Come lay with us!" My mom claps her hands together, while I wave at my dad over. He goes to my mother first and bends at his knees. His elbows resting on his thighs, hands dangling between them. He purses his lips and my mother lifts herself up and leans the upper half of her body forward to make contact.

Then he comes to my side and unceremoniously plops down he crosses his arms behind his head as a cushion, legs crossed at the ankles. Relaxed.

Your father is so-- the doctor said--..

"What was that?" I ask aloud.

Both my parents prop up on an elbow and look over at me, not before sharing a glance at each other. "What?"

I shake my head, "Did you guys day anything about a doctor?" They shake their heads in sync.

Shrugging my shoulders, I drag myself up and on to my feet's, my crutches helping me on the way up. Refusing my parents help. Gotta learn to be self dependent, they won't always be there to help me. They work and have things to do.

"Where you going?" I look down at them and answer simply.

"Meds."

Once in the bathroom, I open all the bottles and take out what was prescribed.

I shrivel my nose in disgust when the pill touches my tongue. I open the cold tap and put my hand stogether, gathering water and downing it, along with the pill.

Inhaling softly, I sit down on the toilets lid. I search for a long, thin object. Finding an unused zip-it, I gently snake it down my cast. Sighing in relief at the sensation it gave me.

"Samantha, someone is here to see you." I look over and see my dad at the entrance of the bathroom, shaking his head at my actions.

"I'll be there, and don't judge me! If the cast was on you, you'd be dying from the itch!" I get up quickly, putting the crutches in position before exciting and heading straight for the foyer.

I look at my mom, talking to someone from the doorway. Stopping behind her, I try and sneak a peek. Her arm is bent and her fist is propped on her hip. I got my head and see a--

Chase?

"What're you doing here?" I speak up once I notice who it was.
Both of their eyes flit towards me, and he takes moment before responding.

"Hey, Samantha!" He reaches up and pushes his fringe from his eyes and brow. His cobalt eyes shining a bit in the sun. So small still on his face. "I brought you your school work since you've missed a week."

The first thing that came out my mouth, "How do you know where I even live?"

My mom gasps and slaps a hand on her mouth. "Don't be rude! Come on in, sweetie. I just put in some cookies." She grips his shoulder lightly and steers him into our living room. Me ambling slowly behind, processing that my Ma is baking cookies. It's been years.

"It's fine ma'am. I'm just here to drop off her work." He gives her a dimpled smile and his eyes crinkle at the corners.

"Nonsense!" Her voice chipper and claps her hands excitedly, "hope you're not allergic to macadamia." He shakes his head, telling her that he absolutely loves them.

My mother strides out of the kitchen and sets the streaming plate of cookies on the table, where she sat us a few minutes ago.

"I'll be outside with your father, shout if you need me!" She practically skips out of the kitchen. I narrow my eyes at her suspiciously. She comes to a halt at the sliding door that leads to the patio, turns around and gives me a thumbs up and a wink.

"So, uh. Here's your work." Crumbs come flying out of his cookie stuffed mouth, and he looks embarrassed.

"I should be sorry, but, they're just so fucking delicious." His voice sounds weird and crumbs come flying out and towards my face. He slaps a hand over his face, red spreading up and conquering his face and ears. "No that's embarrassing, man. I'm so sorry."

He takes his sleeve and wiped at my face gently, I shove his hand off my face.

"Totally fine, I'm used to food flying at my face at an unreasonable speed." I flick a crumb from off my side of the tabl

"Im sorry, really. Oh, my. I just was so into the cookie. And they were delicious. I'm nervous because you're so pretty and if I talk, I'll ramble-"

"That's what you're doing now." I lean back in my chair and watch as he rubs the nape of his neck and brings his hand over his hair, messing it up. "I'll just get going." He flicks his thumb and jets it to the door.

I hear his feet slapping the marble flooring quickly, the door opening then closing quietly. He left me there, my mom starring from the window panel, a questioning look.

I shrug my shoulders at her, a half smile on my face.