I shouldn't love him

"I hate it here."

Historia lay under the sheets of her bed and weeped for hours. She cried so much her sockets began to run out of tears.

Historia felt helpless, she hated this feeling. All she did for the past few days was sit in her bed and feel sorry for herself. Usually when she was feeling down her sister Frieda or Ymir would come to her aid. But they were both gone. They had left her for the afterlife.

Historia felt like she could die of heartbreak. And on top of all of that she felt guilty. Ymir was killed because of her their love for eachother.

She was killed by her fathers doing. Historia had so many bottled up emotions she got the sudden urge to get out of bed. She nearly feel to the ground due to the fact that she hasn't eaten anything in a number of days.

"Young master, you mustn't do this to yourself! " Sebastian; Historia's butler grabbed ahold of her, preventing her from falling on the ground. "Princess, you must eat or you will only sicken." Sebastian tried pulling her towards the kitchen but she broke away from his clutches and continued walking  along the walls. Sebastian followed behind her while convincing her to better herself.

The small girl managed to walk across the palace to her fathers room. Leaning against the wall for support the entire time. Sebastian was distressed following behind her. He didn't want to get scolded by the king for not keeping Historia well. "Princess, your father is rather busy right now, you mustn't enter-"

Historia opened the door to her fathers room and immediately fell to the ground dramatically, making quit an entrance. "Princess!" Sebastian tries helping her up only to be swatted away again. She stood up herself and walked over to her father who was sitting at his desk. "What's this none sense about daughter?" King Rod looked up from his stack of papers and at Historia who was visibly upset.

"I know you were involved with Ymir's death! You hated seeing us together and wanted her out the picture, it's no coincidence she died right after you found out about us.." Historia slammed her hands on his desk causing a few things to fall off.

"Historia.. yes I didn't want you with Ymir but you're making a foolish claim. I would never do such a thing."

"Don't lie to me!" Historias eyes began to form tears again.

"Ymir was a nuisance, her being gone makes things easier for us. It's about time you came over that foolish relationship y'all called love. Her death was a lucky accident." 

"How dare you say her death was lucky! You wished for this to happen.. "

"BE QUIET!" Rod stood up from his desk and glared at Historia. "You will drop this subject at once! Never speak of this again."

Historia dropped to the ground and sobbed. "You don't care.. you never. You didn't care about Frieda... what makes me think you're gonna care about me.."

Rod walked around his desk and looked down at Historia on the ground. "That isn't true.. Frieda's death broke my heart, I care about my daughters more than anyone in the world.. I'm just trying to keep you away from dangerous outsiders."

"That's a lie.. I've never seen you upset not once since Frieda passed. You didn't love us. If you did you would let me and Ymir be together."

"Historia, your attraction to that peasant was only a mere phase.. you will marry who I tell you to marry. I'm doing this because I love you." Rod bent down and reached out for a hug but Historia swatted his arms away.

"I hate you!" She got up and stormed out her fathers room.

I hate it here...

She ran back to her room crying and slammed the door.

She sat at her vanity and staired at her reflection in the mirror. Her eyes and nose were all puffy from the constant crying and her eyes grew bags under. She was almost unrecognizable.

I have no purpose here anymore...

Historia reached in her drawer and grabbed a piece of paper. She picked up her pen and began writing away.

Dear father,

I do not wish to carry on the burden of becoming queen and I most certainly won't be controlled by you. I will leave this palace to find my own path.

Sincerely, Historia

Historia stood up leaving the note on her desk and grabbed a suit case from her closet and stuffed it when a few belongings.

She slipped on a pair of shoes and headed out her room. Sebastian was waiting outside her room and started following her.

"Historia you look rather ill I understand that you are upset but I advise you have yourself a meal."

Historia abruptly stopped and turned to her butler, he looked quite worried so she smiled at him. "I am more hungry then upset at the moment, no need to worry Sebastian." She lied.

"That's good to hear.. shall I have the chief cook your favorite meal at this moment?"

"No thank you, I will cook something up myself, I am in the mood for a little fun."

Sebastian tried taking the suit case from her but she pulled away. "No need for that I can carry it myself." Historia began walking away when Sebastian stopped her once again. "May I ask why are you headed towards the kitchen with a suit case?"

Historia hesitated. "I am dropping off my studies in the library before I eat." She quickly turned away and began on her path again.

Historia quickly exited the castle and went through the garden she threw her suit case over the fence and climbed over landing in a pile of thorny bushes. She brushed off the minor injuries and continued on with her journey.

She found her horse in the barn and quietly walked out with it. Into the forest.

(A/n)
She's a bit more on the annoying dramatic side but her character gets better- 🗿trust me