Bury Yourself

Chapter Two

Mecheal

The pain in my chest felt too deep as I walked down the steps of her apartment building.

Stay you fucking idiot, she needs you

But no matter what my mind wanted, I couldn't. I never could. Going back would mean something to the both us. It would mean once again I put her above someone I cared for, someone I seen myself being with for the first time in a long time. Risking any type of relationships, especially my friendship with Nirvana, was never something that settled well with me. Though there were times where we pushed the boundaries and stepped over the line to what would be considered a romantic relationship, I could never give her my all. But no matter what she'll always be my number one and I hope she knows that. Just then my phone began to ring again. Reaching into my back pocket I pulled it out already suspecting it be Lita, so I wasted no time answering it.

Angelita
Calling...

My beautiful baby

"Hey, baby. How's my princess doing?"

"Really missing you. Are you still coming over tonight?" She questioned, her voice light and soft.

"I can't come over tonight, I need to finish studying for one last test then I'm all yours. I promise." I replied soothingly hoping she wouldn't be upset with me rescheduling, again.

"Promise?"

"I promise baby, I swear."

"Okay, I adore you." She say in a happier tone.

"I adore you as well. Make sure you don't stay up too late. I'll try to stop by before class or we can meet for lunch."

"Alright, either is fine. Goodnight." The sound of her lips kissing the phone fill my ear before she hung up. I lean my head against the door taking a moment to sort out my very messy thoughts.

Without out you I'm New York City
With you I'm at peace

"I'm such a dumb ass." I repeat over and over as I grip the handle frustrated with myself more than ever.

Let's conquer one thing at a time

Taking a deep breathe I held it in for a few seconds before slowly letting it out. I think I love Lita, I've never felt this way about anyone else. She lifts me up and is one of the most motivated and determined women I've ever met. We clicked right from the start.

I shook my head and got in the car starting it, wanting to get home as soon as possible.

Time flew as I crammed for the upcoming test I had in a few days. Before I knew it I was waking up to my pen stuck to my face and my clock reading 6:03am. As I remembered I didn't call Nells I grumbled tiredly reaching for my phone under my pillows. I froze as a sleeping Lita laid on her back, her red hair a mess. I vaguely remembered her coming over last night while I was in the middle of studying. There were times when she'd need to be around someone to avoid the messy thoughts in her head, which I could relate to. Sometimes the mind is more powerful than our own will to feel okay and not overthink.

Carefully I reached under her head to grab my phone in hopes she didn't wake up. And to my surprise she didn't. Instead she stayed fast asleep, only a soft snore escaping her lips as she turned on her side curling up.

Crawling out of bed I made my way to the bathroom of my small apartment, which wasn't much but I didn't want to be a burden to my parents any longer than needed. So I stepped up, got a decent job and the rest of my shit together before saving up and moving out.

Mechey: good morning, i apologize for not calling last night. I got distracted studying.

I expected to get an immediate response as I stood at the mirror staring at the screen in my hand. But after a few minutes I gave up, placed my phone down, and stared at my reflection. Lita was never too fond of my close relationship with Nirvana, most times I felt as if I had to hide my friendship in order for our relationship to be on good terms, which made me feel like a dick to both of them.

After getting ready for the day I walked into the room with a towel wrapped around my damp body. Lita was still laid out on the bed waiting for me, her eyes catching mine the moment i entered the room.

"Hey." She said softly, sitting up criss-crossed. "I have a question." She began to twirl her hair with her finger, a sign she was either nervous or anxious.

I walk over to the bed crawling in behind her. Pulling her back into my chest I placed a finger under her chin so her gentle hazel eyes stared into mine. "What is it baby."

Her orbs searched mine as she stayed quiet for a moment. The first time she opened her mouth nothing came out. Bailing on her words she took another moment, deep in thought as she looked away from me then back before speaking this time.

This must be important

"When are we taking things to the next level? We've been dating for a few months now."

Sometimes I'd forget how small Angelita was. But as she curled up into my chest our size difference was profound. I stayed silent for a moment, holding her close to my chest as i thought about what to say. She quickly turned around in my arms, kneeling between my legs with a stern look, causing tiny wrinkles to appear.

I leaned over placing numerous kisses along her face. "I want you Lita, just be patient with me for a bit longer. I just need some more time." A loud sigh escaped her lips as she wrapped her arms around my waist. Ive told her I wasn't ready for a real relationship, and over time as we spent our days together we've gotten into a routine that I didn't want to end. I knew it was selfish of me to keep her waiting and that I'd either have to commit or let her go, but if I've learned anything over the years timing is everything. But right now wasn't a good time for me.

"You should start getting ready. By the time you're done I should be finished with the rest of my studying and we can go." Reaching in front of her I grab her round face tilting it towards me to plant a steamy kiss on her full lips.

"I adore you." I mumble against her soft pair.

"I love you." She replied, confidently.